As Drunken Stepfather says, “With great tits comes great responsibility.”

He’s quoting Lenin.

It’s well known that the First Commie was a huge fan of breasts. As he frequently said, “From each according to her knockers. Also to each according to her knockers, now that I think about it.” Sadly, his dream of a breast-centered Soviet society ended with his death. Stalin was more of an ass man.

“Alligator Leaps Out The Water To Try To Bite Woman On Zipline” (In Gatorland Park, Orlando)

I’m not convinced that the gator is attacking, but whatever it’s doing would certainly scare the shit out of me.

Here’s another one on the same topic. This gator climbed up nearly onto the zipline landing area, but did not actually attack.

Despite the fact that these gators didn’t actually strike, you have to think that a Darwin Award is in the future of somebody who ziplines over a gator-infested marsh. (And it also works for a future detective story. Creating a break in the zipline over the gators could be the Florida version of the old murder cliche where they tamper with the brakes in the Alps.)

There was some interest in this in an earlier thread. Pulled from the archives, everything is in Blu-Ray quality except The Law of Enclosures, which is only available in a disappointingly weak DVD.

Clicking on each title leads to a film clip.

Guinevere (1999)

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The Law of Enclosures (2000)

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The Secret Life of Words (2005)

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John Adams, episode 7 (2008)

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Joy Corrigan posing for photos in a see through pink robe while she heads to the 2024 Coachella Music Festival!”

She was actually headed in the other direction until somebody said, “Wrong Way, Corrigan!”1


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1. If you actually remember Wrong Way Corrigan, well, technically you should be dead. As the legend has it: “When he landed in Dublin, Ireland on July 18, 1938, Douglas Corrigan joined the ranks of only a handful of fliers who had made a non-stop solo transatlantic crossing by air. The only problem was, he was supposed to be going to California.”

The rest of the story: “He had been denied permission to make a nonstop flight from New York to Ireland, and his “navigational error” was seen as deliberate. Nevertheless, he never publicly admitted to having flown to Ireland intentionally.”

And so too is tomorrow. And tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day, to the last syllable of recorded time.

“Forsooth, and possibly even even fivesooth” 1, this is a proper holiday for me to celebrate, for like life itself, Other Crap is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.


1. A quote from the immortal Snagglepuss, who is making a comeback. If you’re not familiar with Mark Russell, he may be somebody to read about. His dark takes on the Bible, the Flintstones and Snagglepuss are well worth a quick look to see if they are to your taste.

No, it’s not the same Mark Russell who was the cut-rate Tom Lehrer 2. That was a guy you would see on PBS singing ditties about crap like the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade, Uruguay Round. You had to love a song that rhymes “gave Uruguay” with Dave Garroway 3.

2. Tom Lehrer, on the other hand, was one of the true geniuses of the 20th century.

3. Dave Garroway was a mellow, bowtie-wearin’ mofo who was the first host of the Today show. He was so laid back that he made Perry Como seem like a coked-out lounge lizard. He often “co-hosted” with a chimpanzee named J. Fred Muggs. To this day, nobody knows exactly why Mr. Muggs was hired. Cynics say it was for ratings.