Friday, August 01, 2003

The "wisdom" of Ann Coulter


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CBS | Late Show Top Ten Archive: July 31, 2003: "Top Ten Reasons Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Not Running For Governor of California"


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Government releases pictures of what Saddam might look like in disguise. All of them look like Artemis on Wild Wild West.


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NBC has to pull Tonight episode. Network executives almost went in to meltdown when Leno delivered a monologue that was edgy and funny. They began to suspect he was on Ecstasy. Leno ended his show with this advice to viewers, “Conan’s really not worth watching ever since the fat guy left and please, for the love of God, don’t watch NBC at 1:35 and encourage Carson Daly.” A network exec told Dateline Hollywood he had no idea how Leno ended up taking a hit of Ecstasy but said that to stay on the safe side, Courtney Love would no longer be booked as a guest.


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No, not the Barney song US interrogators are using the purple dinosaur's theme to break Iraqi prisoners. This sounds like a hoax, but if not, life imitates art. In Woody Allen's "Bananas", interrogators broke the prisoners by playing Victor Herbert's songs from "Naughty Marietta"


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Gigli moves up to 4% good reviews (4/90), thus averting a chance to "pull a Benigni" and score the full zero percent monty. The "inner circle" of critic is still at 0%, but Roger Ebert gave the film a surprisingly high score, a "near-miss" two and a half stars. I have my own measuring stick for new releases - you know this film must be pretty lame, because nobody has tried to bootleg it!


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sex and nudity overview in AMERICAN WEDDING. The two women they mention (the fantasy maid and cop) are former Playboy centerfold Nikki Ziering and Amanda Swisten.


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Porn King Larry Flynt For Governor? He has my endorsement.


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Jen and Ben get Gigli with it.: "A recent episode of South Park suggested that a fourth-grader's hand puppet could turn in a better performance than Ms. Lopez, and in the case of Gigli, it's hard to argue."


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Los Angeles County List of Primary Election Candidates (Governor)


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A fatal of mix of pills and alcohol caused the untimely and accidental April death of the wrestling icon “Miss Elizabeth,” according to the final autopsy results.


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Hopeless - Did Bob Hope ever say anything funny? By Christopher Hitchens.

Hitchens is a professional curmudgeon, and iconoclasm is how he makes his living. Yes, Hope did go on far too long with his completely predictable jokes about the golf scores of Presidents and entertainers, and he did continue performing after he was fresh and funny, during a period when he was an institution rather than an entertainer. Unlike Steve Allen, who remained the funniest guy in the room until he died, Hope lived so long that he became a guy who used to be funny.

All that is true, but for about 15 years there, in movies from the late 30's until the early 50's, Hope was very funny. He played a unique role for audiences - he was often the everyman character in the film who commented on the action, saying the things we would say if we were there, often talking into the camera. When I was a kid, I thought his movies were marvelous, as did many others who grew up with them, like Woody Allen.

Now if Hitchens asked people to explain why Jerry Lewis is considered a comedian, he would have a point there. It is possible that Lewis has never been funny at any time. But Hope - I found him tedious and irritating at times, but he's given my life a lot of laughs as well.


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My dick is so big... jokes


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New dudes of 'Hazzard': "the big-screen version of 'The Dukes of Hazzard' is still being wrestled into shape. But that's not stopping Ashton Kutcher and Paul Walker from expressing their interest in starring as the fast-drivin' cousins, with Anthony Anderson as Boss Hog, in the remake of the good-ol'-boys TV series that ran on CBS from 1979-85. Kutcher is so into the role that he even dressed up as Luke Duke last year on Halloween. And what about Daisy Duke? Rumors are already buzzing that Britney Spears, who worked with Kutcher on an episode of MTV's 'Punk'd,' is one possibility"


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Homeless driven out of carpark by Beethoven: I think John Tesh would probably do the trick. If not, Yoko and Carol Channing come right behind.


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Bo Derek trading cards


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Arts students 'die young': "engineering and medical students lived longer"


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