Friday, November 14, 2003

TIME's Top 10 Video Games of 2003


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MGM studios said on Friday it had bought the script of 'Henry Bates and the Sorcerer's Balls' -- a comic parody of both 'Harry Potter' and 'Lord of the Rings'


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Letterman's Top Ten Paris Hilton Excuses


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The ultimate irony - President Bush says filibustering is dirty politics because a simple majority vote should decide who gets into office, as opposed to some tricky, arcane voting procedure. Like the Electoral College.


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Chocolate Fashion Show Melts The Critics. With video of models wearing only chocolate.


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Pay to party with a politician and a portion of your contribution will go to help abused children. An unspecified portion. Of course, the rest of the money will go to pay for political campaigns, yacht cruises, and late-night convention parties for fat cats! Three words: hookers, hookers, hookers! (Or, as we call them in Texas, "debutantes") The best part - since you are giving to abused kids - all your drinks and cruises and hookers are tax deductible! GREAT scam! Why didn't I think of this?


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Best poll results ever. 598 people vote online to say that they never vote online. A derivative of the Mudd's Robots Paradox.


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(1) A factory owner with money troubles goes to a fortune teller. (2) she gives him a magic flag to ward off bad luck (3) he climbs onto the roof of his building to raise the flag, falls to his death. Soon to be a movie starring Cuba Gooding Jr.


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Another Paris Hilton porno tape is out there. This one is supposed to be a three-way with an actor and a playmate, and involves girl/girl action. This one is legal, because it was filmed on her 22nd birthday.


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I'm not sure who this guy is, but you'll like his glamour and figure photography


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How to Talk to Your Kids About the Paris Hilton Sex Video


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Penny Singleton, 'Blondie' of the silver screen and voice of Jetsons mom, dies at 95


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NASA publishes detailed photo of Jupiter. To see the full-sized picture, go to the right hand side of the page and click on "PIA04866.jpg (179.4 kilobytes)" - and prepare to be impressed.


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Americans Warned Against Visiting Sudan Damn, there goes my whole vacation. I wonder if I can change my plane tickets to Nagorno-Karabakh.


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The City of Miami is considering making giant puppets illegal. Austin was going to do the same, but it would have meant losing Governor Perry.


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McSweeney's Pretentious Horseshit


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Who'll be the new co-host on The View?


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"truth in advertising" - GREAT STUFF! - vintage cigarette & tobacco ads from the 40s and 50s


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Letterman's Top Ten Signs Rush Limbaugh Might Not Be Ready To Come Back To Work


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A MUM has stunned the medical world after tests showed she is made up of TWO women. Even more incredibly she is NOT the biological mother of two of the children she conceived and had naturally. Docs found the woman, named only as Jane, was formed from non-identical twin embryos who fused together in her own mother’s womb. Her blood and some of her organs are made up of her own cells — while other parts of her body “belong” to her unborn sister. Isn't this the plot of Basket Case?


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Mike Piazza seeks a trade to an American League team, where he can DH when not catching. Also, he's still not gay.


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The A-Team Drinking Game


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The Smoking Gun: Rick Salomon's lawsuit against Paris


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Baseball to get serious about steroid testing and punishment


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Wachowskis being sued for having stolen the script to Matrix. I don't know if the suit has merit, but it would explain why #2 and #3 are so much inferior. They should have stolen some sequels while they were at it.


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