Sunday, December 21, 2003

Police call for remote button to stop cars. I want one of those. It could actually make it fun to attend NASCAR events.


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Audio - Joe Namath, drunk as a skunk on network TV.


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Gaddafi worn down by decades of sanctions, isolation, and femmy hats. Rumor has it he has agreed to give up his weapons just to get access to a decent milliner.


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The Ghost will need somebody new to haunt. Mrs. Muir has died.


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After three years of delays in the theatrical release date, it now appears that Prozac Nation will go straight to video in 2004.


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Hangman online. Simple, but nerve-wracking, and possibly addictive.


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'Search Inside the Book': Full-Text on Amazon: "Tapping into over 33 million pages from over 120,000 non-fiction and fiction titles supplied by over 190 publishers, Amazon.com has launched a major online access service to the full text of publications. "


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The real meaning of Mad Cow disease.


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Tinfoil/pyramid hat story of the day: Bush met Saddam on November 27. Together, the two exchanged some jolly Thanksgiving anecdotes while sharing some of the President's famous lip-smackin' decorative plastic turkey.


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The Dallas Cowboys have made the playoffs. I'm not sure how much they pay coach Bill Parcells, but it's probably not enough.


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Oops! Just kidding about those playoff tickets. A couple days after starting to sell playoff tickets, the Bengals fell to 8-7. The Bengals will make the playoffs only if they win next week AND the Ravens lose.


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Saints keep hopes alive with a bizarre schoolyard play in which six guys handle the ball (counting the center) - then lose it all when their kicker misses the routine extra point.


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How was Elizabethan English pronounced? Most passing strange. It does not sound like modern day upper-crust English, as you might assume from the movies. It sounds like a cross between Middle Atlantic American and a Scottish burr. Further differences between Elizabethan and modern pronunciation are suggested by the rhymes: all-shall; racks-takes, steel-well, join-shine, seas-press (although rhymes are not invariably correct tests of pronunciation).


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Myths about language.


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After just two months in circulation, the first ever NUDE CARIBOO HISTORY calendar has been reprinted to satisfy the market's demand for this stripped-down view of Cariboo Culture.


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OVER-THE-TOP AD CAMPAIGNS of 2003.


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A follow-up to the ad campaigns link above. If you haven't actually seen the naughty pictures, here is an overview of the raciest stuff in the Abercrombie and Fitch Christmas Field Guide.


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In addition to $125 mill. in the USA, Return of the King has also taken in $121 million overseas.


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Still haven't finished xmas shopping? The raccoon penises are out of stock, but there are still some bull scrotums left. These are also excellent to use in place of stockings on the mantle. And "no two are alike".


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In the holiday spirit - White Trash Christmas


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Scientific study suggests that dogs do know it's not bacon.


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NYC Exotic Dance Central Opens School: "NYC Exotic Dance Central is a training center that teaches the art of exotic dance to the general public and professional entertainers,"


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Cheney may face prosecution in Halliburton bribery scandal.: "A French official is examining whether to prosecute US Vice President Dick Cheney over alleged complicity in the abuse of corporate assets dating from the time he was head of the services company Halliburton, the French newspaper Le Figaro said." The Veep had an undisclosed comment at the undisclosed location, something about sharks with frickin' laser beams.


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Dean campaign denies it offered VP slot to Clark: "Wesley Clark said Sunday that Howard Dean had offered him the vice president slot should Dean win the Democratic nomination for president, but Dean's campaign manager promptly said it wasn't true." John Kerry said, "those crazy-ass motherfuckers are whack".


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Pages full of Oops movies. Some are not so good, but the page is well worth a look for treasure hunters. Here is some charming runway nudity, for example.


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Wesley Clark will "beat the shit out of" anyone who questions his patriotism. John Kerry's response, "Fuckin' A"


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Amazingly entertaining interview with Affleck: "Affleck is also, in a twisted way, proud of just how big a bomb, just how reviled, Gigli has become. 'Do nothing small,' he says. 'If you're going to have a bomb, let it be the Ishtar for our generation.'


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U.S. terrorism threat level raised to high.


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MAXIM picks its "Best of" Entertainment in 2003


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Japan says: "no problem, we have the ark of the covenant". They are right around the corner from King Solomon's mines, and the grave of Alexander the Great.


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Rockin' Roaster Stupid.com, the internet stupidity resource, calls it "jaw-dropping" in its stupidity.


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Princess Diana was pregnant when she died. That shoudl give the tabloids enough stories for the next year. What will Weekly World News have to say about the father?


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Dave Barry discusses Rig Envy


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Fox News set to span the world.


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Gollum Raps


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An all singing episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer is in the running to be named the greatest musical of all time.


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"American Soldier" named Time's "Person of the Year"


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Pilot charged over drink claim


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The most desirable places to live in America. Once again, Gary, Indiana was screwed.


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Schindler's List finally headed to DVD.


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Here's' the latest photoshop contest at FreakingNews.com. Based on the recent revelation of Tony Blair's family Christmas Card: "Design political Christmas cards with politicians and with appropriate card messages or Holiday wishes. Cards can be either 'from politicians' or 'about politicians' and accordingly should have card messages 'from politicians' or 'about politicians' featured in the cards. "


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Boobs! The Musical Busts Its Way Into NYC Theatre District.


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