Tuesday, February 10, 2004

A senior Clark staffer says Wesley Clark will officially quit the Democratic presidential race tomorrow, after poor showings in Virginia and Tennessee. This leaves Madonna and Michael Moore scrambling for a candidate.


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Zeta-Jones joins the cast of Ocean's 12.


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Casting info about the Assault on Precinct 13 remake - Ethan Hawke and Lawrence Fishburne.


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Mickey Rourke shall rise again: The Interview


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Bankrupcy court records show: Mike Tyson's income for November, 2003 was $5.68. That's not in millions. That's five dollars and sixty eight cents. Tyson's total assets are now around $5,000 and his total debts are approximately $10,000,000.


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Liechtenstein invades and conquers USA. Americans unable to fight back because too obsessed with Janet Jackson's Breast.


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The SWIPE Toolkit decodes 2D barcodes. If anyone tries this, let me know how well it works.


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Kerry easily takes Tennessee and Virginia.


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No wonder Dean changed his mind about winning the Wisconsin primary. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel poll shows it is currently running: Kerry 45, Clark 13, Dean 12


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Four more free videos from Playboy's Twins & Sisters!


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Oh, this is cool. High-tech guide to Amsterdam. Click any spot on the map, and you are standing on that spot, with a 360 degree view around you.


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Nostalgia: Forever Vintage - The Most Comprehensive Retro Living Guide on the Web.


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Here, in .pdf format, are all the documents released by the White House regarding George Bush's military service. I'm embarrassed to say that I have no idea what this all means. I think either (a) he was a greater warrior than General Patton, Audie Murphy, and Robert E, Lee combined, or (b) he spent his entire military service using his uniform to pick up chicks at the local Malt Shop, and hiding under a table whenever the real soldiers came looking for him.


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Your Parasite Pals for Kidz. There's Tickles the tapeworm, Dig Dig the head louse, and so many more new parasitic friends, like Uncle Louis, who drinks all your booze and empties the refrigerator while he camps out on your couch.


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In a last-ditch attempt to salvage his campaign, DEAN BEGS GORE TO ENDORSE KERRY INSTEAD.


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Bush's Vietnam records released. I'm am linking to this because one of our eagle-eyed regulars spotted a classic logical fallacy. The White House spokesman said: "When you serve, you are paid for that service ... He was paid ... That means he served". In fact, when a statement is true, one may not automatically assume the converse. "If p then q" does not automatically imply "if q then p". In essence, the spokesman said. "If it is a triangle, it must be a polygon. It is a polygon . Therefore it must be a triangle".


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Sports Illustrated - 2004 Swimsuit Issue - Athletes Photo Gallery (Including Anna K in a fairly small bikini)


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WARNING: The latest internet phony windfall scam. Interestingly, everyone has a relative who died in Brussels and left behind a treasure-trove of gold he hid from the Nazis. Or some other source of instant riches.


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Jon Stewart weighs in on the President's appearance on Meet the Press.


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Call him Timberweasel: "'That was fun,' Timberlake said in a television interview immediately after the performance. 'We love giving you something to talk about.'" ... A FEW DAYS LATER ... In an interview with a CBS television station in Los Angeles, Timberlake claimed he was "completely shocked and appalled" by her partial nudity.


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TRIVIA: Which is the most corrupt of the 50 states? Surprisingly, Louisiana only finished third. The LEAST corrupt is Nebraska, presumably because it has nothing worth stealing.


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What To Rent analyzes your personality, asks you about your current mood, then recommends movies based on them. They may be on to something. I got five recommendations, and they are all films I really do like. (Clerks, Talk to Her, The Big Lebowski, Kubrick's Lolita, Monty Python's Holy Grail)


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Justin Timberlake Signs On For First Big-Screen Acting Role. Surprisingly after his Grammy performance, he'll be playing a male role in a species with a backbone.


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Donkey Kong Barrel Maze - damnably addictive (noisy, if you are at work).


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10 cultural turning points in TV history. From Lucy's baby to Janet's booby.


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Nielsen says The Passion of the Christ will open with a $15-$30 million weekend. Pretty impressive considering it has an advertising budget of zero, and that the film is entirely in Latin and Aramaic, and that a year ago the film couldn't get a distributor. When Gibson announced this project, I had many a cynical laugh at his expense, since I believed nobody would ever see the film. Boy, was I wrong. Gibson proved himself to be a greater promotional genius than Madonna and David Ogilvy put together. My cap is off to him.


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More tittygate fallout: ABC might edit 'NYPD Blue' sex scene. I'll tell you what I would do. Pull a Richard Branson. He used to keep Virgin Records open on Sunday in Paris in violation of city ordinances, and after the first weekend he personally showed up to pay the fine on Monday morning, as his "donation to the beautiful city of Paris". If I were Stephen Bochco, I'd arrange for something like full-frontal nudity from Jessica Alba or Katie Holmes or Britney Spears, advertise the hell out of it, and send the $27,500 fine to the FCC in advance. Be the best money he ever spent.


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Foreman wants to return to ring. The 55 year old ex champ is in training for a one fight comeback. He hopes to take on that guy who played Les Nessman on WKRP.


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Police in Finland have issued a $150,000+ fine to a speeder. Speeders in Finland are fined based upon their income. Which means I can drive as fast as I want for free in Finland. If only I could afford a car. And a ticket to Finland.


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Follow-up. Woman drops her lawsuit over the Jackson peep show.


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President Bush has crippled China by buying the world's entire supply of chopsticks! "China may have the world's largest standing army, but without food their troops wouldn't have the strength to march or fight," explains a senior administration official who spoke on the condition of anonymity.


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Thailand bans big flabby buttocks. In other news, the Kathy Bates Bangkok Film Festival was postponed indefinitely.


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Dr. Atkins died at 258 pounds, with heart disease.


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Anna K in new SI Swimsuit Edition


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Worms, viruses, and more ... mydoom mutants mount new attacks on microsoft.com


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Satan now organizing a game of pond hockey. O'Reilly says he was wrong, apologizes.: "Conservative television news anchor Bill O'Reilly said on Tuesday he was now skeptical about the Bush administration and apologized to viewers for supporting prewar claims that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction."


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Arena Football cheerleaders: The San Jose SaberKittens.


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The excellent five minute trailer for The Machinist (2004). The people who have downloaded this clip have rated it 9.44/10. Christian Bale lost 65 pounds to play this role, and he wasn't that big to begin with. He looks frighteningly thin.


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"Simpsons" - the Movie!


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X-MEN director Bryan Singer to write X-Men comics.


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Prank calls made with celebrity impersonations.


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A new gallery of pictures from Carrey and Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.


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New screen shots from I, Robot.


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New pics and trailer from The Day After Tomorrow.


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Still looking for a job? Willing to relocate to Brazil? Fat samba dancers wanted


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The Daily Show looks at Tittygate. Again, and again, and again.


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"Put down that light saber and pick up a credit card: The 'Star Wars' trilogy is finally coming to DVD Sept. 21." Special editions will be made available, but the original theatrical releases will not be in the package.


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If you have $249 and a good picture of yourself, imatoy will turn you into a superhero action figure, complete with back story and blister pack.


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I gave him the choice: The monkey or me. He chose the monkey. ... and he's still spanking it to this day.


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William Hung: A Real American Idol!


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Men arrested for selling tank online: "German police have arrested two men who bought a tank in Greece and tried to sell it on the internet"


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If Sean Combs had known Janet was going to upstage him, he would have "whipped out something on this world that you would have never forgot."


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The Charlton Heston Online Shrine


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The Church of England concedes that the three wise men might have been women. ... and they could have been stupid, and there could have been 11 of them. But the "eleven dumb broads" didn't seem to have the right Christmassy feel to it. Except, of course, at Sinatra's house. Here is the "Urban Legends" page which debunked the traditional assumption that there were three. (Some religious scholars theorize that there may have been a dozen.)


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Bush Gains, Kerry-Bush Horse Race a Dead Heat


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