Sunday, February 22, 2004

Wow - the SAG awards went to the right people. Whoda thunk it?
  • Nothing against Bill Murray and Sean Penn, but it's pretty obvious that Johnny Depp created the most memorable performance of the year, and I'm pleased to see the SAG recognize that.
  • As for Charlize Theron - well, they may be actors, but they aren't retarded. If they saw the movie they voted for her.
  • Renee Zellweger was an OK choice in her division. So were the others.
  • The only one really memorable performance of the year that they missed was Bill Nighy in Love Actually (Tim Robbins won, and was a perfectly satisfactory choice among the nominees). Nighy wasn't nominated, and wasn't nominated for an Oscar, either, although he won the BAFTA.


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The Lord speaks to ... Andy Rooney? I really miss the old days when the Lord would speak through idiot savants and tiny Estonian children and mysterious words formed in Post Alpha-Bits.


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Carrie picks Mr. Big, dumps the commie, returns to N.Y.


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Four free short videos from Playboy's Twins & Sisters!


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Four free short videos from Playboy's Cheerleaders & College Girls!


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Jolene Blalock did some pretty sweet rear nudity on the Feb 11th broadcast of Enterprise. Because of the hypocritical new post-Tittygate morality, the scene was censored in the USA, but it was shown uncensored in Canada. Make mine a Molson's, eh?


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Weekend Update from 2-21-04 is now online. Jimmy Fallon delivers the quote of the day, "This week, Georgia's board of education approved the plan that allows teachers to keep using the word 'Evolution' when teaching biology. Though, as a compromise, dinosaurs are now called 'Jesus Horses.'"


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The Screen Actors Guild will kick their members' asses if they accept any work on South Park. It is a clear violation of their principles to appear in anything worth watching.


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Jerry Springer Opera Scoops British Theater Awards: "A foul-mouthed opera about Jerry Springer's lurid talk show has won four of Britain's top theater awards including Best New Musical at the Laurence Olivier Awards on Sunday. "


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It may sound pretty cool, but I doubt that men with two dicks really like it that much.


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Yonic Symbolism and Erotica Exotica Gallery. "Yonic" is the female equivalent of "phallic", if you catch my drift. If you aren't into drift-catching, it's an entire site dedicated to pictures of twats. Not the metaphorical kind of twat like John Major, but actual female genitalia.


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Just a reminder to everyone - a warning from the past. Just before the 2000 election, the Washington Post reported: GOP group pays for pro-Nader TV ads. "Nader, running a low-budget campaign, is not airing any television commercials of his own and it's possible that the Republican Leadership Council will end up spending more on pro-Nader media than Nader himself."


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Nostalgia: A look at the CROSSFIRE! marble-shooting game


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Of all the sites on the internet, this may be the hardest to look at. "Without Sanctuary" - a history of lynching and other public barbarism in American history - as depicted in postcards! I'm not surprised. I have often written that our human history shows us to have been consistently racist, greedy, and deluded. Usually all three. As the narrator says, " I can't help but think of these photos, and the march of time, and of the cold steel trigger in the human heart."


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Fascinating facts about the U.S. Constitution. Did you know "Pennsylvania" was misspelled? Did you know Ben Franklin was the oldest man to sign it? Did you know they have never been able to remove the urine stains from when Lyndon Johnson pissed on it?


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Now here's a page I recommend personally.


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This online version seems like a perfect clone of the original PacMan


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Play the original Centipede online. It seems like a perfect clone to me.


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Unsung Themesongs. You know the theme music from these shows, but I'll bet you didn't know there were accompanying words. I knew about the Bonanza song, because I remember when the four of them sang it. In fact, I think there are more verses not listed here. The others are new to me.


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The Arabic version of the Big Brother reality television program has started, with a prize of $100,000 for the winner and, of course, a glorious martyr's death for the losers. (Seriously, there have been many modifications made to adapt the show to the culture of the Middle East.)


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$10,000 reward to anyone who saw Bush perform his National Guard duty. "If you personally witnessed George W. Bush reporting for drills at Dannelly Air National Guard Base between the months of May and November of 1972 we want to hear about it."


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Critics say Gibson's film mimics a hateful book, specifically an obscure, possibly anti-Semitic book written by a 19th century nun who claimed that her version of the story was revealed to her directly by God.


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The Internet - smell the difference!


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Schwarzenegger says foreign-born citizens and visitors from the future should be able to run for president. Geez, there's a surprise, eh? I guess he's been watching his DVD of Demolition Man, in which people in the future say that Arnold Schwarzenegger became President in the 21st century through just such a constitutional amendment.


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The Sex Pistols' "Anarchy in the UK" has been named the most influential record of the 1970s in a magazine poll.


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Timed to coincide with the new Gibson movie, here is a report on Jesus on the silver screen. The two most famous actors to portray him are Willem Dafoe and Max Von Sydow, reflecting the Hollywood Movie and European Art tendency to portray Christ with Northern European features.


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Here is the full "Pentagon report" on climate change.
  • As I suspected, the key sentences ignored by the Guardian/Observer are as follows: "Rather than predicting how climate change will happen, our intent is to dramatize the impact climate change could have on society if we are unprepared for it." and "In this report, as an alternative to the scenarios of gradual climatic warming that are so common, we outline an abrupt climate change scenario patterned after the 100-year event that occurred about 8,200 years ago." In other words, it is a what-if scenario based what would happen to a world of six or seven billion people if certain past geological events repeat themselves. To see how extreme the scenario is, read this sentence, "In 2007, a particularly severe storm causes the ocean to break through levees in the Netherlands making a few key coastal cities such as The Hague unlivable."
  • It is also important to note that the report is NOT talking about climate changes caused by or capable of being modified by human activity. It is about possible human responses to recurring and probably inevitable geological events which have always occured throughout planetary history, albeit most dramatically before the era of humans, and will inevitably occur again. The key sentence here is, "We should prepare for the inevitable effects of abrupt climate change – which will likely come regardless of human activity." In essence, it asks us to think about how to deal with the inevitable cyclical climate changes that have happened throughout the world's history, becuse they will happen again sooner or later, maybe sooner. "With at least eight abrupt climate change events documented in the geological record, it seems that the questions to ask are: When will this happen? What will the impacts be? And, how can we best prepare for it? Rather than: Will this really happen?"


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More of Julian Beever's awesome pavement drawings


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Vintage nudes


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Aussie biologists say the Great Barrier Reef is doomed. A new report from Queensland University's Center for Marine Studies says the Pacific Ocean is getting too warm, too fast. Experts say the world's largest chain of living coral will be mostly dead by 2050. A rise in water temperature of less than 1.8 degrees Fahrenheit will cause the coral to lose its vibrant colors. Analysts have predicted that water temperature will rise nearly 11 degrees this century.


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It's official. Ralph Nader will run for president, thus costing John Kerry the all-important crackpot vote.


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All four new films bomb at the box. Even Disney'd new film could do no better than a 9 million dollar open, less than half of the holdover "50 first dates". The biggest bomb was ignited by Meg Ryan's boxing movie, which opened at a mere 3 million.


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Lost Brian Wilson Album Premieres in U.K.. Brian Wilson received a tumultuous standing ovation for the first-ever performance of his shelved 1967 album.


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Secret Pentagon report says that massive climate changes could trigger global anarchy. This is not from Weekly World News, but from The Guardian/Observer. Given that these people are notoriously gullible and have been known to interpret information selectively (The Guardian fell for the famous Presidential I.Q. hoax from Linky and Dinky), I think I'll wait to see the actual document before I buy in. The Observer claims to have the document, but does not make it available, which gets my antennae out immediately. My guess is that they failed to mention the word "if" in referring to a report which gamed out various possibilities and their possible effects. Again, this is just my guess, but the observation that "Climate change over the next 20 years could result in a global catastrophe costing millions of lives in wars and natural disasters" was probably preceded by a phrase like "In the highly unlikely worst-case scenario, ... ".


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Here is an excellent ten minute featurette on HELLBOY.


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Writers Guild honors Lost in Translation (original screenplay), American Splendor (adapted screenplay).


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