Monday, February 23, 2004

Zeta is looking mah-velous at the SAG awards


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'Analyze This' Actor Joe Viterelli ("Jelly") Dies. The familiar movie wiseguy was 66.


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A short history of film trailers.


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Desperate ABC Strikes It Rich with 'Super Millionaire'


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The Passion of the Christ - only 45/100 at Metacritic in the early returns.


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The Passion of the Christ - 65% at Rotten Tomatoes


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Return of the King becomes only the second film in history to pass $1 billion worldwide.


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Governor Dean's statement on Ralph Nader "In 2004, a vote for Ralph Nader is, plain and simple, a vote to re-elect George W. Bush."


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Here's a bit of advice for high school administrators everywhere: If a drug-sniffing police dog somehow misses the pot you planted in a troublemaker's locker, just let it go.


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Paris Hilton 'directed' sex video, says court filing: "the video also depicts Ms. Hilton participating fully in the creation of the video,' the motion said. 'Ms. Hilton offered directorial comments and physically controlled and directed the camera.' " It is their legal argument that Paris's level of participation voids Salomon's claim to be the sole holder of the copyright. (Hey, sounds flimsy to me, but I'm no lawyer)


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Coming Soon now has both a trailer and an 8 minute clip from Mayor of the Sunset Strip


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The secrets of trick photography and digitally manipulated photographs.


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Researchers can produce mice with more hair and bigger penises, thus meeting nature's quota of mice with mullets and big dicks. The researchers feel that the experiments have applicability to humans. Why do I suspect that these researchers are not women?


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OK, every once in a great while even we link to an intelligent article. By accident, of course. "The music industry is becoming the book business (minus the literacy). "


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Remember when Shakespeare wanted to start by firing all the lawyers? That's only because he didn't know any reporters. How long will it take you to spot the monumentally misleading misplaced modifier in this report in the International Herald Tribune? (Hint: when did Khrushchev die?)


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Place your hand on Janet Jackson's miracle breast, and be healed.


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If they are so fuckin' smart, you would think one member of MENSA would learn .html. (There are lots of ways to redirect traffic to their other domain transparently, so that .com, .net, and .org all produce the same result).


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Six-year-old girl joins Mensa. Because it is never to early to get a head start on having bullies take your lunch money.


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Did Dick Cheney ask Jay Leno to ban Silent Bob from the Tonight show? Not likely, but it provides some entertaining reading. Now if Conan O'Brien really wants to be cool, he can forget about broadcasting from Canada. Broadcast from Dick Cheney's undisclosed location! I know what you're thinking. "He couldn't have any guests, because then the guests would learn the location of the secure, undisclosed location." There's an answer to that, my friends. Masked Wrestlers, from Parts Unknown.


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Mel Gibson's father dismisses historical accounts of the Holocaust as impossible and denies that the September 11 terrorist attacks were perpetrated by Al Qaeda hijackers. This is not to imply that Mel is responsible for his dad's opinions, or vice-versa. God forbid that I have to be responsible for my dad's opinions. He thought Weekly World News was serious.


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Dean Defeats Truman! Why Political Analysts Keep Getting It Wrong.


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This is some weird she-it. Comedian Bill Cosby sat in the front row of the spectators at teh Martha Stewart trial, telling reporters 'I'm here for a friend. I brought a couple of boxes of chocolate Jell-O.' " (I didn't make that up. He really said that.)


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The Bush administration's education secretary referred to the nation's largest teachers union as a "terrorist organization". He said it was a "joke". Funny, funny guy! He's right, of course. Not many people know it, but before they cast Jack Black in School of Rock, Osama bin Laden was up for that role.


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Many Americans Support TV Executions. Only one third of Americans oppose televising executions, as opposed to the vast number that oppose showing Janet Jackson's breasts. 21% said they would pay if an Osama execution were a pay-per-view.


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Foreign Film Oscar Nominations Stir Controversy: Wow - somebody cares about this category? "Critics of this year's nominations say the films appear to have been chosen by a retirement-age nominating committee who ignored cutting edge films in favor of middle-brow fare that senior citizens enjoy."


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SADDAM DENOUNCES "SEX AND THE CITY" FINALE


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'Mourning sickness is a religion': "Britons are feeding their own egos by indulging in 'recreational grief' for dead celebrities they have never met". Top signs that you have mourning sickness (1) you're holding candlelight vigils for celebrities who haven't died yet (2) you don't even like those particular celebrities. Contrary to rumors, I don't have that disease. I know about those pictures of me at the Ethan Hawke pre-funeral, but I was ... um ... just covering it for the website. Yeah, that's the ticket.


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mylastemail.com is a service which allows you to send messages to your loved ones, to be delivered after you die. I guess that's pretty cool in some ways, but it might be a little creepy to receive e-mail from the dead.


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Arena Football cheerleaders - The Dallas Desperados Dancers


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Do your kids need something to do on rainy days? How about making a paper model of Bill Gates's House. If you enlarge it enough and get a big enough and stiff enough piece of paper to print it on, your kids could make you a new 66,000 square foot mansion.


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Become a Sports Agent - Apply Today for the Athlete Management 400 course. No thanks, I decided to take the International Diplomat course instead.


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Sex Stuff and Sexual Health - from The Cool Nurse


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Sexual discrimination - against the WNBA: A 38 year-old Indianapolis man is suing the Women's National Basketball Association for the league's refusal to allow him to tryout for the Indiana Fever, the league's Indianapolis-based franchise. The litigant said, “I really don’t understand why the WNBA is making such a big fuss about letting me tryout. I bet half those so-called girls on the team have bigger schlongs than I’ve got.”


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Today's Norwegian Cod news. This time a cod swallowed an entire can of Coke, thus allowing lutefisk to be made without adding any lye.


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Cinescape is positively gushing over the new Batman movie! "So much good stuff that we're censoring ourselves."


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Talk about a slick way to get free programming - ESPN, looking for Sportscenter anchors, makes their job search into a reality show


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Some more pics from Blade: Trinity, including some nice ones of Jessica Biel


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Ain't It Cool News - has seen Clone Wars 11-20. Here's their summary (spoilers)


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Here's Meg Ryan and the real Jackie Kallen, the character she plays in On the Ropes


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MALARCHUK UNMASKED - the long and difficult road of goalie Clint Malarchuk


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CBS SportsLine run a mock NFL draft. They think Eli Manning will go #1. Chargers have the #1 pick and need a QB.


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NASA presents Earth from Space


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Five reasons why Long John Daly can save America


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More Batman casting news. Dennis Quaid is now close to being on board as commissioner Gordon. Well, yeah - he is Gordo, fer chrissakes! This movie is the New York Yankees of movie casting. To keep them brief, the credits will have to list people not in the film.


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JoBlo.com has a new pic from Blade 3. (The one with that Van Wilder dude!)


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Some baseball fun. The odds on who will be the winningest pitcher in the majors. Mark Prior is the favorite. It looks to me that Javier Vazquez would be a great bet at 17-1. He was on the verge of stardom last year, and this year he's pitching for the Yankees as a third starter, thus avoiding the toughest matchups.


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Four-sided pong game.


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Preparing for an audience that doesn't typically attend films, chains are carefully wondering - which trailers should run before "The Passion of the Christ"? I vote for Eurotrip, Kill Bill 2, Cheerleaders in Chains, and the international trailer for The Girl Next Door.


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FilmJerk.com presents the Early Report for the week of Feb 22


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Online trailer for Kaena: The Prophecy. Voice work for this animated film was the last screen role for the Irish movie legend Richard Harris.


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Karl Malden given Lifetime Achievement Award by SAG


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Call me crazy, but I don't think this is a real cover of US magazine


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