Tuesday, February 24, 2004

"DUST down your retro wardrobe, girls – sexy Fifties housewife is this spring’s hot look."


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Dudes, it's Mardi Gras


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Dudes, it's Mardi Gras


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Girl spanked in front of classmates at high school in Wisconsin.


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How many hands can fit in a woman's genitalia? You'd be surprised.


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President Bush's lap dog dies. I can't top Jay Leno's line on this one. "Didja hear President Bush's lap dog died? I didn't even know Tony Blair was sick."


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President Bush denounces disputed Iran elections for not letting the guy with the most votes win, offers to send his brother Jeb over as an election consultant. The Iranians asked if they could have Neil instead, because they are ready to par - TAY.


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29 new pictures from Harry Potter and whatever he's doing in the latest film.


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Trivia. According to the IMDb, the Passion of the Christ is an adapted screenplay. Who wrote the novel upon which the movie is based?


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Happy Birthday to our main man, Abe Vigoda. I didn't know he is 6'6". That's one big Fish.


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The result of a survey to pick Philadelphia's hottest mom: PHILLY'S HOTTEST MOM IS...MEL...


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Report card: The best and worst of Oscar Night.


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Today is also Amish Mardi Gras. They really go nuts. As soon as it gets dark, they sit down idly for a full minute, reflect upon life with a wry smile, and then get back to churnin' that butter. Par - TAY !


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Passion protesters rally in Times Square. I'll admit I'm not a religious guy, but this whole thing really confuses me.
  • It was a bunch of Jewish and Italian guys who killed Christ, was it not? In fact, as I recall, Christ himself was a Jewish guy. Maybe they wanted Gibson to make the movie like a thriller.
    • Yeah, I got it. At the last minute we should find out that's it's a sting, and he was really killed by Latvians and Koreans, who framed the Jewish and Italian guys.
    • No, wait, I have a better one. At the end, Christ walks away from the Crucifixion. His wounds disappear, his limp disappears, and we find out he's really Kyser Sose.
  • If I understand the theology correctly (and I probably don't), we should all thank the Jewish and Italian guys for washing away our sins. He died for our sins, right? So if he doesn't get crucified, no forgiveness, and no Christian religion.


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All remaining SAG members signed for the new Batman movie. All other films except one have been temporarily shelved because every actor in the world with a SAG card is now committed to Christopher Nolan's zillion dollar epic. The one exception? Mel Gibson has vowed to make Passion 2: The Wrath of Khrist with non-union, non-Jewish actors.


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Ralph Nader gets the endorsement of Ralph Nader. "Major Vote of Confidence", says Nader


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The Random Surrealism Generator


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Eminem Sues Apple, MTV Over iTunes Ad: Mr. em claims he could fetch more than $10 million for endorsing a product, so is suing Apple Computer for what it should have paid him to use his Oscar-winning song.


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Radio personality "Bubba the Love Sponge", who was accused of airing indecent material by federal regulators, has been fired. The segments in question included graphic discussions about sex and drugs that were "designed to pander to, titillate and shock listeners," the FCC said. One segment featured the cartoon characters Alvin the chipmunk, George Jetson and Scooby Doo discussing sexual activities. The details from the FCC's website:
  • Segment 1 (aired July 19, 2001 between 6:30 and 8:30 a.m.):28 In this segment, 29 skits in which the voices of purported cartoon characters talk about drugs and sex are inserted between advertisements for Cartoon Network's Friday night cartoons that are identified as ``provocative adult cartoons to help you get your freak on.'' The first skit begins when Shaggy tells Scooby Doo that he needs crack cocaine but has no money to buy it. Scooby Doo responds that Shaggy could ``suck dick'' to pay for the drugs. In the next skit, Fat Albert, a/k/a Phat Diddy Daddy, gets killed in a drive-by shooting after bragging that Jennifer Lopez had been "sucking Diddy Daddy's dick the previous night". The third skit begins with the theme music from ``The Jetsons'' cartoon show. George Jetson then begins telling Jane that he no longer needs Viagra because he got a ``Spacely Sprocket cock ring.'' After George flips a switch to activate the device, sound effects indicate that the device malfunctions, and the skit ends with George calling for Jane to turn off the device. Next, Alvin the Chipmunk complains that he hasn't ``been laid in almost six weeks.'' Another chipmunk responds that his problem is due to the ``fucking pussy music we play'' and begins to sing a more ``kick ass'' song directing a ``filthy chipmunk-whore'' to ``suck on my Chipmunk nuts,'' ``put `em in your mouth and suck `em.'' He continues by singing ``They taste like pistachios. They're warm and fuzzy. Suck my nuts.'' The song is interrupted by a final advertisement for ``Cartoons with Balls.''



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The Weekend Warrior's box office predictions. The Warrior expects everything to get buried by the Passion, and is extremely pessimistic about Phil Kaufman's thriller, Twisted, predicting that it will not even beat 50 First Dates, a "week three" holdover


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Lost in Translation finally translated. Here is what they were saying in the Suntory Whiskey scene.


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Porn film secretly filmed at Hong Kong airport


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Li'l Kim to Bill O'Reilly: "Next time something offends you on television, change the channel. I do it all the time during your show.' "


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New, incredibly violent version of the penguin-bashing game


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Newsday says: Jason Giambi shows up for spring training looking like Twiggy. I won't say that Giambi was juiced, but if he were, you could just about pinpoint the time he started. Slugging averages 1996-1998: (.481, .495, .489). Slugging average 1999: (.553) Slugging average 2000-2001 (.647, .660). Gee, I don't know, somewhere around the all-star break of 1999, a miracle happened.


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Polar Bears turn green. I'll bet they're just jealous.


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Did you know there was an ancient language by women, for women only. I know that language. They speak it on Oprah.


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Wikipedia presents the history of the famous internet shock sites - with links, including the now-closed internet shock site goatse.cx


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MBA writer spins out jargon faster than a self -help author.


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Todd Phillips refuses to write and direct 'Old School 2'. He's ticked off because the ads for Eurotrip invoked Road Trip and Old School, both of which he wrote. He had nothing to do with Eurotrip.


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'Sex and the City' finale leaves its biggest star satisfied. SJP didn't know how it would end until she watched like the rest of us. They filmed three endings.


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Bellucci a strip club owner in The Ice Harvest (Harold Ramis comedy)


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Two new clips from Hidalgo. (New Viggo Mortensen action film about the horse race across the Sahara)


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Coming Soon has added eight new clips from The Girl Next Door (Elisha Cuthbert as ex porn star trying to go straight)


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Grey Tuesday: EMI has begun sending cease and desist letters to many of the sites hosting the Danger Mouse "Grey Album" download. (Sites listed at that link).


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Rough reviews for the London stage version of "When Harry Met Sally": "My grandmother is more genuinely engaging to watch than Alyson Hannigan. My grandmother died in 1989. "


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Surprisingly, here's a Norwegian story that has nothing to do with cod. Norwegian shock-show host asks Brit soccer stars about their penises. Well, of course, then he asked them some cod questions as well.


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Gene Simmons Solo Album, "Asshole" Due In April


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President Bush endorses constitutional ban on gay marriage. His theory: "Don't get me wrong, gay people can get married. As long as they marry somebody of the opposite sex."


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Elmore Leonard on writing: easy on the adverbs, exclamation points and especially hooptedoodle.


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30 ft long steel bridge stolen in Ukraine. BBC News Online says metal theft is a problem in Ukraine, where people steal statues, wires and sewage hatches to sell as scrap.


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This is not easy to watch. Woman Says 'I Don't' At NBA Game


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The very early reviews for Starsky & Hutch are quite positive.


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The NY Times reports that the C.I.A. was given data on a 9/11 hijacker in 1999, but dropped the ball. They even had his telephone number.


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Four short free videos from SPICE TV RAW!


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Four free short films from Playboy's Amateur TV Home Videos!


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The Hidden Song Archive: "A hidden song (also known as a 'ghost track' or 'easter egg') is a song on an album which is not listed on the album sleeve or jacket. On a CD, usually the song is accessed by playing the final track through then going through a brief moment of silence."


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Toy Fair 2004's Top 10 Strangest Products


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Astronomy: X Rays Indicate Star Ripped Up by Black Hole This doesn't happen very often, and is not likely to happen again for 10,000 years unless David Gest goes through with that marriage to Diana Ross.


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