Monday, March 08, 2004

If video killed the radio stars, internet killed the encyclopedia stars.


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Rings finale fast-tracked to DVD: "The Return of the King, the last in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, will be released on DVD and video three months sooner than expected. The film, which won 11 Oscars last month, will be released on 25 May."


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What will prison life be like for Martha Stewart? Long days with no e-mail, and an infinite number of tables with no papier-mache centerpieces. Some days the prison pianist will have to play a regular piano during meals, instead of a baby grand.


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Lorraine Bracco gets nekkid on the Sopranos, appearing in a semi-nude scene that had the Radio City season premiere party buzzing. Most of the shots did not employ a body double. 'Not bad for almost 50,' boasted the dazzling beauty to me after the show. Nope. Pretty hot, in fact.


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Dr Seuss wrote a nudie book for kids?


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How Libertarian are you? Take the libertarian purity test.


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As if high school weekend detention and multiple murder weren't bad enough stains on his permanent record, OJ is watching satellite games without the express written consent of major league baseball. Oh, sure, he got a verbal OK, but verbal is not written, as my grandpappy and Bowie Kuhn used to say. The team of Federal investigators who have OJ on round-the-clock surveillance also think they may have caught him removing a mattress tag.


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NBC has purportedly cut the final scene from Monday night's TV movie Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels because Farrah Fawcett's former manager threatened legal action. Or maybe because it sucked even deeper than the rest of the show. NBC alleges the movie was running long and therefore trimmed for "artistic purposes". Artistic? Yup, I'm sure that must have been one truly artistic-ass motherfucker. When future generations evaluate the great artistic achievements of humanity, the top five is sure to include the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel and The Unauthorized Story of Charlie's Angels.


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Six new clips from Spartan, the new Val Kilmer international thriller which was written and directed by David Mamet.


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Kerry ahead of Bush 52-44 in latest Gallup poll. Nader pulled 2% among likely voters.


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Take this quiz to find out if you are taking too many online quizzes.


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MARTHA ATTEMPTS TO FLEE U.S. INSIDE GIANT CAKE. Escape Attempt Foiled as Dessert Is Heard Berating an Employee


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Doctors may be able to upgrade breast implants by using gummy bears. My ex-wife got hers implanted with Silly Putty. She calls 'em the Fantasic Two because (1) not only do they stretch like Reed Richards, but (2) she can actually use 'em to copy the comic.


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President Bush to stop at the Houston Livestock Show to peruse the cattle on display. He will, of course, evaluate the quality of the bullshit, as a professional courtesy.


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The Price Is Right begins its 33rd consecutive year on a single network with a single host. In reality, that understates the longevity of this show. I am 55 years old, and The Price is Right was already on TV when my mom got her first TV for Christmas when I was in first grade. It was such a phenomenon in those days that the Christmas edition of Mad Magazine spoofed the Price is Right in Mad's heyday in 1959. "Freeze. Freeze. We'll All Freeze", screamed the auidience as the contestants bid on Alaska. I think I still have that edition sitting around somewhere.


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Tom Brokaw for Vice-president


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Winning Images in the Picture of the Year competition


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San Jose and Seattle join the same-sex marriage battle.


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Teen superstar Charlotte Church has been offered two million dollars to pose nude on an adult British TV channel.


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The ugly tale of Howard Stern vs The Man


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Steve Martin's complete article on the Gibson movie .. Passion: The Script Notes


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Spalding Gray found dead in the East River. Fair play suspected.


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Ranking the wino wines


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Starz Behind Barz Solitaire. Play solitaire online with the "glamour in the slammer", the deck of celebrity mugshots.


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SportsCenter: Sex and Sports


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Brazil legend Pele has upset his fellow countrymen with his choice of the 120 best living players in the world for FIFA. Only 12 Brazilians are on the list and the surprise omissions have infuriated the country's media.


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Welcome to MailOrderHusbands.net: The future of online selection for single women.


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Uncle Melon's Art Appreciation 101: Pinup Art


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The first wanker? Masturbate for Peace endorses its first Presidential candidate, Ralph Nader. And they are pumped. "No other candidate has ever had the opportunity to tap into the masturbation vote", but Ralph stands as a symbol of the perfect jerk-off.


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Complete Coverage of Toy Fair 04


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Tyra Banks wants to be Oprah, except with cleavage and a really low IQ.


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Holly Joan Hart, playmate of the month for April, 1998. Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Four free short movies from Playboy's Big Breast Babes!


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Former WWF wrestler Hercules Hernandez passed away in his sleep Friday night, aged 46.


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Journalist Novak Pokes Fun at his CIA Leak. Oh, that wacky li'l enemy combatant, outing our intelligence officers. He's just so adorable.


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Steve Martin mocks Mel's Passion.


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Here's a brand new 10 minute behind-the-scenes featurette about Hellboy


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