Sunday, March 14, 2004

The Sun says a naked Jacko told a 12 year old kid: "Keep drinking, it will make you feel better."


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"Top Model" Blows Off Steam: Boobgate backlash continues to rock Tyra Banks' "America's Next Top Model". First UPN edited the show's Website, cropping full-body shots of the aspiring models clad only in body paint to show only their faces. Now Banks has reportedly been ordered by UPN to edit out steamy sections from next week's episode, which featured some of the women cavorting with a number of men in a manner inappropriate for a family network.


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Drew Barrymore stuns shoppers by taking lingerie shots with camera phone


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Bugs Bunny's Home Run Derby


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DICK SPADER, cartoon dick. A lot of work went into this. Unfortunately, the subtitles are in a language something like English, but not exactly English.


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What's new Off-Broadway. They say the neon lights are dim ... off Broadway ...


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You like gymnasts? You like twins? You like 'em naked? We have all three right here, podner. They must be the world's worst gymnasts, but I don't think you'll mind.


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The Passion of the Christ dominates another weekend. It grossed $31.6 million, far more than the $19 million grossed by the second place finisher, Johnny Depp's Secret Window.


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Astronomers discover 'new planet'. Confound your science teacher. Does he think there are nine planets in the solar system? Since this object seems to be larger than Pluto, our solar system is now known to have either eight planets or ten, but not nine. (Some say Pluto is not a planet, but if it is, then this would be also.)


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Be insulted in Shakespearean English. Thou dastardly son of a palsied whore.


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Kim Jong Il says he'll abandon his nuclear aspirations for a sneak peek at Star Wars Episode III. (Weekly World News)


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John Paul II's papacy is now the third-longest in the history of the Catholic Church. (Probably the second-longest. The dates on Peter, the first Pope, and still supposedly the longest in office, are a might shaky.)


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Actors Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman were named 'Living National Treasures' by Australia on Sunday. This means that you'll need the Aussie government's permission to plant an erection on her, drill in her, or strip away any of her layers.


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Alanis Morissette lyric changed from "asshole" to "nightmare" for U.S. market. The quote of the day came from Canada's Warner Music representative: "'We've decided here that we're sticking with 'asshole'."
  • No wonder that Canadian birth rate is dropping
  • They said the same exact quote about Chretien, and he's gone, isn't he?


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Horny pelican mistakes big-nosed man for his mate. (Weekly World News)


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"A Mexican worker dies each day, AP finds". His name is Kenny.


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England's "Best Book of the Year" nominees include such noted literary giants as David Beckham and Madonna. Previous winners include William Shakespeare, Charles Dickens, and the Spice Girls.


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One song to bore them all? The Lord of the Rings is to be turned into a lavish West End musical.


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Lobster zombie news: frozen lobsters thaw and return to life. In other news, the Red Sox have asked the seafood industry to take a look at Ted Williams.


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Jesse Ventura for president in 2008? Details of the wrestling hall of fame induction.


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Spanish ruling party swept from power in Socialist victory


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Author Lewis Perdue is preparing to sue Dan Brown for copyright infringement, claiming 'The Da Vinci Code' is in large part stolen from his 1983 novel, 'The Da Vinci Legacy' and its 1985 follow-up, 'Daughter of God' - which were both recently optioned by 'Survivor' creator Mark Burnett. "


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JoBlo takes a detailed look at the Bat-cast.


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The opera is officially over. The fat man has sung. Pavarotti sang his farewell performance last night at the Met.


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Jodi Ann Paterson was the playmate of the year in the milennium year, so I guess at that point she was the playmate of the millennium. Here's her free Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Four free short videos from Playboy's SPICE TV RAW!


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The Top 14 Johnnie Cochran Arguments to defend the Penis-Enlargement guys against fraud. "If the penis enlarges, you must drop the charges."


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25 years in the convenience store industry and not once did I see anything like this.


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A 'Special skills draft' is on drawing board. The military needs computer experts, foreign language specialists. The good news, no general military draft planned at this time. The bad news: you're an exception to the rule if you can speak crucial languages or are a good computer programmer. If you are good with languages, you may want to think about learning Korean and Persian. If you are good with computers, you might want to think about learning Canadian or Amsterdamian.


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The Secrets of Scientology


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Is David Hasselhoff the AntiChrist, or just one of the evil minions? How do you get to be a minion? Do they have minion schools? Can you major in minion at Harvard?


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Upstart 24-hour talk radio network prepares to turn the dial to the left. Liberal Air America to start national broadcast at end of month, featuring alleged comedians Al Franken and Janeane Garofalo.


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The new contest at FreakingNews.com is to imagine what that new advertising in space will be like.


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FilmJerk.com's early report for thie week.


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Kerry convinces Dean and Gore to support Bush.


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British TV asks people their favorite naughty word. Very naughty, and funny.


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George Carlin explains why Republicans hate breasts.


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FCC Fines Clear Channel $247,500 for 'Elliot' Exploits : "The FCC levied a hefty $247,500 fine against Clear Channel Communications yesterday for 'indecency violations that involved graphic and explicit sexual material' during Segal's popular 'Elliot in the Morning' show last March. Clear Channel has 30 days to appeal or pay up. "


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Ol' Tanya Harding is really lookin' feminine these days!!


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Here are some nice nudie pics of Lindsey Marshal. She is a cheerleader for the Toronto Raptors. Here's her official Raptors pic.


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