Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Monica Bellucci has been replaced in Harold Ramis's Ice Harvest. (Co-starring Billy Bob and Cusack)


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Here's the trailer for the new Jim Jarmusch film, COFFEE AND CIGARETTES


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BOROWITZ: Pentagon Launches Operation Pink Storm. In a televised speech to the nation last night, President George W. Bush called gay marriage "the new front in the war on terror"


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The Car-ma Sutra


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The Kama Sutra Animated


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Does an internet picture show a 115 pound coyote in New York? Well ... the picture is real. On the other hand, the animal is not a coyote, it's not in New York, and it weighs less than 115 pounds.


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Tennessee county wants to make it illegal to be gay. Here's today's betting tip from Pete Rose, famed member of the heterosexual hall of fame as well as the gambling hall of fame: don't bet on the Tennessee County high school drama club to win any competitions.
  • Historical note: this is the same county that hosted the famous "Scopes trial" in which a high school teacher was tried for teaching evolution, was prosecuted by William Jennings Bryan and defended by Clarence Darrow.


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Human teeth unravel the mystery of England's Anglo-Saxon legacy. Insert joke here about British Teeth. Sing along with me, "Lemming, Lemming, Lemming of the BDA"


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The Daily Show reviews the 24 hour media coverage around John Kerry and his "foreign leaders" comment.


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Gibson's next movie to be about Hanukkah, based on the book of the Maccabees. "The Maccabees family stood up, and they made war. They stuck by their guns and they came out winning". He can probably just re-dub Braveheart with different family and place names, the way they re-dubbed Captain Midnight after it was re-named Jet Jackson.
  • "I am {different voice} Judas Maccabeus {resume original voice}, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You have come to fight as free men, and free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight?
  • "A lordship and titles. Gold. That I should become Judas? {dubbed addition} I mean the OTHER Judas, Judas Iscariot, who has not been born yet, not I Judas Maccabeaus."


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President Bush picks up the coveted al-Qaeda endorsement : In their statement to the President, they said "it is not possible to find a leader more foolish than you (Bush), who deals with matters by force rather than with wisdom. Kerry will kill our nation while it sleeps because he and the Democrats have the cunning to embellish blasphemy and present it to the Arab and Muslim nation as civilization. Because of this we desire you (Bush) to be elected." Ralph Nader took great offense, and dashed off a telegram to al-Qaeda, insisting "hey, I'm much more foolish than he is. I'm really a total douchebag. Plus my parents were both Lebanese, born in Syria! Endorse me."


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Actress-turned-novelist Pamela Anderson says she will hire a ghostwriter to help her with her first two novels, as soon as she finds a ghost who can hold a pen.


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Morgan Freeman to drive the Indy pace car - very slowly, with the left turn signal blinking, and with Miss Daisy in the back seat.


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Actress Mercedes McCambridge is dead at 85. She was the voice of the demon in The Exorcist.


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Boreanaz was relieved when Angel was cancelled.


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Spielberg will helm a new remake of THE WAR OF THE WORLDS, likely starring Tom Cruise.


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Chris Tucker set to earn some serious cash in Rush Hour 3 and Money Talks 2 .


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Tattooed celebrities, historical figures, supermodels, sports stars, rock stars.


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Celebrity Battles. Very addictive.


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You think the internet has no value? The rebuttal can be summed up concisely: Three Stooges. Public domain. Free. Legal. Here is Sing A Song of Six Pants


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Dave Chappelle presents: Charlie Murphy's true Hollywood stories


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Prime time Nielsen ratings for March 8-14.


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Fox employee was actually using Fox server and Fox bandwidth to distribute pirated films.


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Florida prosecutors have dropped child pornography charges against R&B singer R Kelly They had no case after the judge ruled their photographic evidence was inadmissible.


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Naked blonde answers the door for pizza delivery guys.


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The Weekend Warrior makes his box office predictions for the upcoming weekend. He's expecting mediocre results from the Jim Carrey movie, with first place going to Dawn of the Dead, or possibly Passion again.


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Wrestlemania viewers suffer "transmission malfunction"; as grappling turns into XXX movie


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Georgia Fundies want books banned from high school. These people don't just want to throw out daring books like "Slaughterhouse Five" and "Soul on Ice". They also want to remove such innocuous fare as "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinbeck; "The Martian Chronicles" by Ray Bradbury; and "To Kill a Mockingbird" by Harper Lee.


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The Internet Database of Cover Songs


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Serco TransArctic Expedition - Solo across the North Pole: One man. 1,240 miles. Alone in the Arctic. Skiiing from Canada to Russia.


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URL says it all: thongbattle.com.


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Remember the Toronto Raptors cheerleader with a nude website? The Raptors fired her.


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Punch a celebrity. Smack them in the face. As hard as you like. And slap politicians, wankers and more!


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With Eternal Sunshine, will screenwriter Charlie Kaufman finally turn A-level respect into commercial success?


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A new trailer from the monumental epicT R O Y


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Here are four free short movies from Playboy Plus!


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Heather Kozar was the Playmate of the Year in 1999. Here is her free, nude Playmate Gallery, courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Google Rolls Out New System to Improve Local Search Results


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The latest casting info on the upcoming release of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy


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British fireman rushes to the hand-on rescue of a woman in a thong.


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Taiwan President's Nose Too Small for Re-Election. The bigger the better in Taiwan. In other news, Owen Wilson makes subtle inquiries about Taiwanese citizenship.


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Selma Blair poses naked in Flaunt Magazine


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Don't look back, America, something might be gaining on you.


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