Wednesday, March 31, 2004

Google to offer 1 gig of free e-mail.


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Six more new clips from Hellboy -


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Six potty Brits trapped in a Mexican cave kept their peckers up by snapping themselves doing a Full Monty.


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TGSNT :: Finalists "Shopping at the BigMart"


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Looks like HBO's Deadwood will be alive and kickin' for another season


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A weird one from The Daily Show: the words of backwoodsy doofus James "Jethro" Carville VS condescending tutti-frutti twit Tucker "Andy Dick" Carlson - as read by little kids!


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The Daily Show's Lewis Black editorializes on the fundamental right of all Americans to talk about Cleveland Steamers on the air.


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Comedy Central on The Republican Attack Machine.


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Jon Stewart weighs in on the Tyco trial


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"Star" Mag Goes Glossy, Takes Aim at "People"


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Missing Wisconsin-Madison college student found.


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Yankees open a can of whoop-ass on the Rays Brown dominates, Posada knocks in six. Matsui homers in his home arena.


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Using a new technique astronomers have found 10 apparent black holes near the center of the Andromeda galaxy, thus breaking the record formerly held by the Jackson family.


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URL says it all: toss-my-salad.com


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Whitehouse Claims Dick Clarke Upset Over Denied Position: "he wanted more than anything to be named Secretary of American Bandstand. And when that didn't happen, he just began seething and plotting revenge"


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Looking for a unique spot for your next vacation? Try Faizabad. : "The round trip is $300, although no return flights are currently scheduled. If you are desperate to return, keep $900 handy in cash."


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You're a man on the go. You love racing, but are bored by horses and greyhounds. Make the move to Gerbil racing. (Insert Richard Gere joke here)


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Bob Cremins, a Boston Red Sox pitcher who faced Babe Ruth in his first big league appearance, died at 98.


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Kirstie Alley is in final negotiations to play Ricki Lake's mother in an untitled CBS comedy pilot. Will it be a TV series version of Free Willy? The question is, can CBS afford to cater the set?


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President Bush has hit upon a cunning plan to shield the White House from terrorist attacks. He wants to paint it solid black! (Weekly World News)


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An illustration of STFU.


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Senator Says Howard Stern Still Indecent


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Art James, talk show host and announcer, dies at 74. The non-intrusive James was one of the most dignified and capable game show hosts.


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NASA's Visible Earth. Great site.


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It's never too early to tag Oscar hopefuls for 2004. Here is the early handicapping.


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Aristide launches kidnap lawsuit against France, will sue USA next.


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Pee-Wee Herman discusses his legal woes.


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Eastwood announces his new project. Hillary Swank plays a female boxer.


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Spielberg and Carrey will not do the Walter Mitty movie.


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Chronicles of Riddick not as lame as it seems!


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Jack Black and Naomi Watts to star in "King Kong". They will play the Robert Amstrong and Fay Wray roles, respectively.


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Two clips from the family film, Ella Enchanted. Target market is female, young teen and pre-teen.


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Five clips from Connie and Carla , a Nia Vardalos (Big Fat Greek Wedding) script about two dinner theater actresses fleeing the mob.


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Future search efforts will make Google look like 8-tracks.


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Paul Hornung was a great football player, so flexible he could actually put his foot in his mouth. Hornung says: Notre Dame should lower academic standards to `get the black athlete'. And then they should drop that whole Catholicism thing to get the Asian scholar.


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This is funny, David Letterman versus the White House. On Monday, Letterman showed a clip of a kid yawning, fidgeting, and looking at his watch while standing behind the President during a fund-raising speech. The White House responded first that the kid was edited into the speech, then later said that maybe the kid was there, but surely not standing where he was depicted in the tape. On Tuesday, Letterman points out that both of those replies were, plain and simple, "100% lies". Both Letterman clips can be found at this link. What's scary is
  • (1) that the White House would bother with such silly crap at all instead of chuckling and moving on. Of course kids think George Bush and John Kerry are a couple of boring twits. I think we know that all kids everywhere are entranced by the sheer mesmerism of Ralph Nader.
  • (2) that the White House would not only care, but would tell such blatant lies without even checking the facts first. Force of habit, I guess. This point, of course, assumes that Letterman is not kidding.


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FLIP-FLOPPING MAY HAVE INJURED KERRY'S SHOULDER. Doctor advises Senator Kerry not to change any of his positions for two weeks.


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The passing of an era. Siegfried & Roy Marquee finally comes down


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Deep Purple awakens Beijing to the sonic pleasures of heavy metal


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The next Britney Spears? - Some say it is beautiful, blonde Brooke Hogan, who reportedly has a lucrative new record deal. Take a guess who her father is.


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A classic unproduced screenplay: THE TONY CLIFTON STORY, by Andy Kaufman and Bob Zmuda


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Film Threat finds and reviews the shooting script for "The Day the Clown Cried". This is Jerry Lewis's film about, of all things, a concentration camp clown whose job it is to lead children into the ovens. "164 pages of misguided, disturbing, egomaniacal and just plain fucked-up material that would have the crowd at Nuremberg scratching their heads in utter disbelief. Not only is it horribly written and lacking in any humor (the script specifically notes when things should be "played for laughs"), but after about the first fifty pages what starts out as merely a bad screenplay degenerates into a deranged, unconscionable disaster that almost makes you feel guilty for reading it... almost. "


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Here's Spy Magazine's famous article about this film: JERRY LEWIS GOES TO DEATH CAMP


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Read it for yourself: THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED (1972) - the final shooting script


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Read it for yourself: THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED (1972) - first draft


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80s music quiz - we hear the playback and it seems so long ago


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Driver Derrike Cope showed up with a new outdoor gear sponsor, 'RedneckJunk.com.' NASCAR nixed the sponsor because it did not project the proper image. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think he'll be offered replacement money by Salon Premium, The NY Philharmonic, or Barnes and Noble.


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Women sue Hooters over secret tapes: "Five women who say they were secretly videotaped naked or undressing while they applied for jobs at a Los Angeles area Hooters sued the restaurant chain Tuesday."


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People do pick pets that resemble them. That explains Dick Cheney's weasel, but I think Richard Gere's hamster was chosen for other reasons.


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NCAA losing lucrative shoe deals. This may sound trivial to you, but massive shoe deals allowed small colleges like Xavier to pay competitive wages to top-line coaches, and thus balanced competition.


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BATMAN BEGINS - the Batmobile. Looks like the ol' Bat spends a lot of time at Monster Truck rallies.


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The San Francisco Giants will provide free wireless internet access at the ballpark.


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Ice Cream Vendors in Turf War Tussle: Two ice cream vendors were charged with attempted murder for an alleged pipe attack on two of their competitors. I know if my name were Mr Softee, I wouldn't want to fuck with these guys, Cold Power and Frozen Mayhem.


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Chicago, L.A. towers were next targets.: "Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, al Qaeda's purported operations chief, has told U.S. interrogators that the group had been planning attacks on the Library Tower in Los Angeles and the Sears Tower in Chicago on the heels of the September 11, 2001, terror strikes. Those plans were aborted mainly because of the decisive U.S. response to the New York and Washington attacks, which disrupted the terrorist organization's plans so thoroughly that it could not proceed"


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FHM looks at Jennie Berntson


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Dis recipe is da bomb. No, really. Southern Living recalls explosive recipe. Urgent "alerts" have been issued by the widely respected magazine pleading with people not to use the recipe for "Icebox Rolls" on page 154 of the April issue, citing possible fire and safety hazards, including ignition of the mixture.


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Make Mark's Movie. "I directed my first feature film Futile Attraction and have been editing it ever since. I am currently raising the funds needed for remaining post-production via my website where people can make online contributions for the film and get their name in the credits. This groundbreaking initiative is getting an amazing response from around the world with contributions, offers of help and thousands of hits from over 30 countries."


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The new Batmobile


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Play MiniPool the Tactical and Skill based Pool Game by 2DPlay.com


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Sex stimulates the brain and makes people more intelligent, according to a top German researcher. He is still trying to explain Jessica Simpson.


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McCartney Gives Surprise Show in Tahoe


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Harvard study shows that music sharing doesn't kill CD sales, and may even have a positive effect.


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Bushisms archived and analyzed. Here's one I had not seen before: ""I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose (to Saddam): you disarm, or we will."


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Google Publishes Print Edition in 37,000 volumes.


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Studios already jostling for the next Oscars.


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Reason to Run? Nader Argues He Has Plenty. Nader contends that he is neither an egomaniac nor a nut, but simply a douchebag.


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FreakingNews.com Photoshop Contest: "Show the reasons why Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz split, OR show HOW they split, OR show what romanic encounters await them in the future


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Michael Jackson named most foolish American of 2004! The strongest contender was his own sister, Janet. Other top finishers: (3) Martha Stewart (4) The Mouseketeer


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