Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Fokking Beer: "According to web lore, there is a microbrewery in the Northeast which produces a very fine pilsener, using their family name and their best German brewing methods. Their marketing, however, is modern and American. Here are some of the best Fokking slogans you'll ever hear. "


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Here's the episode that started it all: Killing Spree I. If you like it, you'll find several more on their site.


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Here is a new behind-the-scenes featurette about Van Helsing


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Masturbation increases life expectancy. Bill Maher is immortal.


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Jackie said JFK sucked in the sack. Or didn't suck in the sack, because if he sucked than he wouldn't suck. ... oh, no, get Shatner on the line. I've fallen for the Mudd's Robot Paradox again.


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Donald Trump beats chicken at tic-tac-toe. In other news, President Bush defeated a slug at Chutes and Ladders. Well, at least he would have if the slug had played fair.


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Greenland - Miami Beach of the future. And the property is still so inexpensive. The article sounds pretty scary until you realize that they are talking about the year 3004, not 2004.


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Steve Guttenberg to star in Police Academy 8. When asked to comment, sportscaster Marv Albert was heard to exclaim "Yesssssssssssssssssssssss!"


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The Afghan National Sport of Buzkashi. This is a real game, played with a headless goat carcass instead of a ball, which relects the pride, heritage, courage, and general insanity of the Afghanis. Hey, back in school, we used to go at it playground style, skins against turbans.


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Buzkashi results: Al Qaeda Upset in Regional Final, Won't Make Final Four


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Internet evangelism. "I really think that if Jesus were around today, he would have a blog." You mean he's not speaking through me? I felt him guiding my hands. "Render therefore unto Gates the things that are Gates's" Oh, wait. I think they mean Jesus Christ, not Jesus Rivera. Never mind.


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The Sun presents the alleged text messages between Becks and Beccs. Either that, or they bought an old issue of Penthouse Forum. Hot stuff.


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The head of the Coors brewing empire, Pete Coors, will be a Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate this fall. The conservative Republican is one Coors who likes Bush.


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President Bush tries to do math in his head.


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A new DVD player automatically skips sexual content, graphically violent scenes and language deemed offensive. I don't want that one, but I want the exact opposite one that ONLY plays the sex, violence, and offensive contents.


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The worst scam ever - and it works: conmen take victims on 'magic' money ride


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FANTASTIC FOUR director revealed! Also, learn who's in negotiations to star! Unexpected choice!


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Ted Kennedy leads poetry reading. Y'know, I can't think of anything that could make modern poetry better than being read by Senator Kennedy. The Senator defined the greatest challenge to modern verse as the need to create more rhymes for "Bush sucks". Sure, "tush tucks" and "tush-fucks" and even "push bucks" are good, but there's a whole new linguistic world out there, and we need the new T.S. Eliot to explore it.


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One of the great mysteries of aviation solved - parts from Saint-Exupery's 1944 wreck have been found. Interestingly, he has been playing bridge for all these years with Amelia Earhart and Glenn Miller, and they have been desperate for a fourth.


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ChiTown takes reality TV to the next level.


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Still images and posters from Troy


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The Daily Show looks at The Sadr House Rules


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The international trailer for Blind Horizon: "Val Kilmer will play the lead role of 'Frank,' a gunshot amnesia victim who warns a small town sheriff about an assassination plot against the President during his campaign tour, and must uncover a conspiracy and his role in the plot."


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A Mexican woman gave herself a c-section.


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Houston Texan cheerleader tryouts


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Arena Football cheerleaders: Albany Conquest cheer/dance team - the Treasures.


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NHL season final power rankings: Red Wings enter postseason on top


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The adventures of Clovis the Sweeper in the land of Joe Cartoon. Strange, funny stuff.


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Urban Legends is asked: "Does a Ford SportKa commercial shows a cat being decapitated by a sunroof"


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Doonesbury in hot water for having the Prez refer to Dr. Rice as "Brown Sugar"


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Fans: 'Alamo' Movie Heroes Not Heroic Enough


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The trailer for the gimmicky comedy, 13 Going on 30


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Queen Elizabeth II of Britain cast a pall over her state visit to Paris today by referring to the French people as "you bloody wankers" and launching into a profanity-laden speech that threw the future of Anglo-French relations into doubt.


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EarthCam - Webcam Network- a gazillion live feeds


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You think you're a nerd? This guy is already in line for Episode Three.


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See ACTION COMICS NO. 1 in its entirety - a cultural treasure. (Superman's origin)


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Roseanne regrets being a rumpgap.


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FallonFey.com - has now added the Weekend Update from the April 3 show.


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More incredibly dumb-lookin' but sexy stills from Catwoman. (Could this be a Razzie contender with Garfield, Mask 2, and that Gere/J-Lo film?)


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Administration wages war on porno.


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Hubter S Thompson on the NCAA - The big finale was a big disappointment


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Precise statistical analysis shows file sharing does not hurt CD sales: "Peer-to-peer (P2P) sharing of music files over the internet does not hurt new music sales, contrary to what some music companies fear, a new study shows. 'Downloads have an effect on sales which is statistically indistinguishable from zero, despite rather precise estimates,' authors Felix Oberholtzer of the Harvard Business School and Koleman Strumpf of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill wrote."


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For fanatics, The Complete Monty Python's Flying Circus Megaset: all 45 episodes in chronological order, on 14 DVDs.


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