Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Amazon's new book search engine has gone live in Beta. Line of the day, "Jennifer Lopez will be interviewed by James Lipton on Inside the Actor’s Studio. Even for James Lipton, that’s gonna be a lot of ass to kiss."


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FallonFey.com has posted the Weekend Update from last week's show, hosted by JJ.


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London man has surgery to make him look like J-Lo


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Presidential rochambeau update: Kerry challenges the Prez with a powerful "shadowed scissors".


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The two finalists have finally been announced in the Horse-faced Man of the Year contest.


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Hellboy as reviewed by The Filthy Critic


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Even House Arrest Don't Stop Jose Canseco


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British safe motoring organization names worst driving tunes. If you're listening to music in a traffic jam, don't listen to Ride of the Valkyries, Dies Irae, or Seasons in the Sun. The first two will make you too edgy. The last one is just on general principles.


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The story of John Titor, visitor from the future.


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Kill Bill vol 1 sells two million units on its first day of home media availability


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More of Minnie Driver singing. Thjis one actually has four full-length songs.


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Trampoline Records - A song excerpt from Minnie Driver's first solo album. It's a bad sign on a solo album when they have the song mixed so that the instrumentals completely drown out the vocals, and you can't actually hear what she sounds like!


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Only in the Star! Demi Moore's Brown Dress Turns White!


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Scattered reports of National Guard units alerted for duty in Iraq


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Jennifer Capriati demonstrates the new solid steel bra.


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A senior fellow at The Center for the Completely Fucking Obvious endorsed this view: 'Many of us were expecting a bounce, but the drag photos probably did have a negative effect on his numbers.'"


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The Japanese to English HENTAI dictionary: Japanese perversions, fetishes, and AV terms


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Air America grounded: "After just two weeks of broadcasting, Air America Radio, the fledgling liberal talk-radio network featuring Al Franken and Janeane Garofalo, was pulled off the air this morning in Chicago and Los Angeles, the network's second- and third-largest markets, in a dispute over payments for airtime.


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Boardwalk Bowling


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The historic gardens of Japan


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Rapper Lil' Kim faces criminal charges: "Lil' Kim was charged Wednesday with conspiracy to commit perjury, making false statements and obstructing justice in connection with a 2001 shootout involving her entourage. "


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Another abuse claim against Michael Jackson.


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Penis explodes during sex: "Doctors in Romania are treating a 28-year-old whose penis exploded while he was making love to his girlfriend." He's a vampire. She's a gymnast. Dawn arrived. 'Nuff said.


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From National Lampoon: Hello Passion - The True Story of Mel Gibson's Movie


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Here is the trailer from Claude Chabrol's new film, The Flower of Evil .


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Baseball's all-time all-hair team


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BUSH IS PERFECT, WHITE HOUSE REVEALS. President George W. Bush received some much needed good news today as the White House revealed conclusive evidence that the President is perfect. Mr. Bush responded to the news of his perfection with self-effacing modesty, Mr. McClellan said, “which is exactly how you’d expect a perfect person to react.”


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Centenarian Collector Bequeaths Beer Bounty To Bar: "The Sheboygan, Wis., man turns 100 in June. He moved in with family members recently, who don't have enough room for all his beer. "


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More casting rumors for Fantastic Four.


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Who is that with Jeremy? Daddy figured it would be fun to take pictures of me with well-known people, and it has been fun!


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The motherlode of camel toes


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The Downward Spiral -14 year of mug shots chronicle the descent of a woman.


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Uncle Melon shows you "How to Use a Vagina"


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The Microsoft Symphony. I believe Salieri wrote this.


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Jack Handy - Deep Thoughts


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Porno for geeks.


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Britney Spears shops a reality show. She said it'll be ready once she figures out what reality is.


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Airing on Sunday, April 11, the 'Nick & Jessica Variety Hour' won its 9 p.m. time slot. More shows to come for the dim duo.


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Every seat taken at Wrigley, except Bartman's.


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Minor league baseball team will pay you to attend their games. The promotion is working great. Their attendance is nearly 150 people per game. Just kidding - read the story for details.


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Several teenage girls were required to remove their bras in front of male classmates and guards during a school trip to a state prison. Story sounds a lot more sensational than it really is.


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Parents' groups call Britney "stupid and irresponsible." Gee, those parents' groups are quick. They've also decided that Randy Johnson is tall, and has a wicked heater. The little Mousketeer inspired their epiphany with a suicide video. A recent study found that celebrity suicides are 14 times more likely to spark copycats than those involving ordinary people.


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The Sun reveals: The model who claims she was bedded by David Beckham worked as a $700-an-hour hooker. I'm so boring or cheap, I can't even imagine any sex acts worth $700 per hour involving only one woman.


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Race Horse To Be Named After Racy Porn Star. "Hedgehog"?


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90-second pizzas from a vending machine


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Everything there is to know about Fellatio. I don't know that much, but I know he was the boring sidekick in Hamlet. "Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Fellatio"


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Happiest people born in summer. (May most optimistic, October least.) It's sort of a scientific variation on astrology, when you think about it.


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Bubble body wear


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The reason for the Dodgers' early success? According to Dodger sources, it is the new William Hung CD. It's William Hung's world. The rest of us just live in it.


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The trailer from Baadasssss! Mario van Peebles directed this film about his dad;s struggle to develop independent black cinema in the early 70s. The title refers to the legendary snd controversial film, "Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song".


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The official site for Baadasssss! includes a fascinating 58 page press kit, stills, and the trailer.


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Eight clips from Kill Bill Vol. 2


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Astronomy Pic o' the Day - Massive Star Forming Region: "Deep in the normally hidden recesses of giant molecular cloud DR21, a stellar nursery has been found creating some of the most massive stars yet recorded. "


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