Thursday, April 22, 2004

Omarosa lands the perfect job - she's going to play a soap opera bitch, and in her role she'll be a job applicant!


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Your consolation question - who is buried in Petrarch's tomb? I dunno, Groucho - Petrarch? BUZZZZZZZZ. Wrong. At least not completely correct. It may be Petrarch's body, but it's a woman's skull.


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Tahoe's pollution concern - crap through a goose. General Patton was unavailable for comment, as he has been for many years.


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Headline of the day: Seeking black applicants, North Miami police drop swimming requirement, require minimum vertical leap. (OK, I made up the jumping part)


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MTV (UK)announces a new show called Dirty Sanchez! (middle of article)


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Shel Silverstein -- Uncle Shelby's ABZ Book. A Primer for Adults.


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Computer 'speed limit' found. "If there is an article of faith in computer science, it's that everything can keep getting faster and faster. But scientists say they've discovered an apparent speed limit that will restrict how quickly data can be written onto disks and then retrieved."


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JUSTICE DEPARTMENT ANNOUNCES INTERNATIONAL INTERNET PIRACY SWEEP. They are making a multi-country attack against the warez scene.


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The Voluntary Human Extinction Moverment


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A Message From Pat Robertson and the "Vote No On Jesus" Campaign: "The reckless liberalism of Jesus Christ cannot be allowed to take hold of the Christian values this great country has fought so hard to preserve"


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My Alien Abduction- customize your experience


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Internet-exclusive teaser for Alone in the Dark, kind of a cross between Indiana Jones and Ghostbusters, with Christian Slater and Tara Reid.


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Some of you Canadian readers have written in to say, "I have an unprotected banana. What the heck can I do?" Your shame has ended. Now there is an answer: Banana Guard


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The Daily Show looks at the withdrawal of American allies from Iraq


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The Daily Show looks at Bob Woodward's book


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Male stripper showing up to perform for co-ed birthdays. Only one problem. Nobody hired him. It is not known whether he has done anything to break any laws or university rules, but it seems not.


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A 74-year-old woman survived an attack by a nearly 10-foot-long alligator that bit her on the leg and arm and dragged her into a lake.


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Stripeless Zebra Puzzles Experts. It will be studied someday by people with nothing more important to study. Maybe some Norwegians can take a look at it.


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Wife divorces husband over Viagra


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The battle for golf's future - should equipment improvements be halted?


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Supreme Court will not let Clarett enter the draft.


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In today's exciting Norwegian news: King of Norway claims to be cousin of John Kerry. Kerry is also related to several other phony-baloney European royal ugly dudes. Royalty expert says: «Even if many think that Bush is going to win, I would bet my money on Kerry. The royal rule always works. The candidate who has the most royal connections always wins. It is the most particular pattern, and this can’t be accidental». President Bush is a descendant of only two kings: Edward I of England, and Rupert Pupkin.


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A wealthy businessman whose marriage was in trouble offered $1 million to buy the wife of a close friend in a bizarre deal reminiscent of the Hollywood film Indecent Proposal


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Big Ron becomes Bigot Ron. Brit sportscaster launches racist tirade.


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Your next credit card will only work when it hears your voice!


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Kournikova sued by her own parents.


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Tonya Harding socks it to Man Show's Doug Stanhope in Celebrity Boxing match.


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Dancing John Kerry


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The complete NFL Schedule for 2004. Colts and Pats kick it off September 9th


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The SPMD - Sport Psychology Movie Database


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Romanian soccer team warned if they lose they will have to listen to Beethoven.


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San Jose Sharks take hockey to a high tech level


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Gotta love the passion of soccer. Winning score in closing minutes of game ruled 'no goal' to avoid riot. After everybody went home, the goal was allowed and the visiting team won the game.


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The Straight Dope: What were the daily themes on the old Mickey Mouse show?


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Update on the casting for Hitchhiker's Guide


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The Top 10 Celebrity Meltdowns.


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"'Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow,' a retro-futuristic action-adventure movie won't be taking to the skies during the crowded summer months. Because of some moves made by the competition, this movie has been postponed from June until September.


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She was the Playmate of the Month in April of 1997. Here's Kelly Monaco Playmate Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Four free short videos from Playboy Big Breast Babes!


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Manning tells Chargers to draft someone else.


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You think in-flight movies suck? Your next flight may include a live performance from Sheryl Crow!


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It's a glorious day for Norway. Norwegian students will not use porn films to finance graduation party. The fact that something would NOT happen was actually the big deal of the day in Norway, more exciting than the things that DID happen.


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Chicago Cultural Center's 'Isn't That Amazing', the incredible collection of all things Popeil and Ronco.


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Rock About the Roll - the best songs about "duck" tape


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Turner re-brands TBS for comedy, TNT for drama


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Virgin gives birth. It was a mouse, but that's still mighty impressive in scientific terms.


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The (very impressive) Official Harry Potter Website


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PBS presents a virtual tour of the Great Pyramid.


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Here is a better trailer for The Door in the Floor.


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The trailer for The Agronomist: "The story of Haitian national hero Jean Dominique, 'The Agronomist' represents a labor of love for the director Jonathan Demme, who first met and filmed the late journalist and freedom fighter in 1987."


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Here's the trailer for The Terminal, a new film from Steven Spielberg, starring Tom Hanks and Zeta. (Similar story to that guy who lives in DeGaulle airport)


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GALLUP: Most Americans Say Major Changes Needed in Government Terrorism Agencies


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