Thursday, April 29, 2004

Eyeful of Saturn taken by Cassini on March 27th


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Did John Kerry throw communion hosts back at Vatican? Kerry insists he only threw some "wafers" and some other guys' "hosts".


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Why don't you ever see any gay mobsters?


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Potty humor is big in the world of popular children's literature -- from the 'Captain Underpants' series to 'Zombie Butts from Uranus!'


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David Carradine attacked by the inmates in a special reserve for troubled kangaroos. I swear I didn't make up one word of that. Carradine said, "They were like Hells Angels kangaroos, man. They were crazy,"


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A new portrait of Prince Philip depicts him bare-chested with a bug on his shoulder and a plant growing out of his finger. Oh, sorry. My mistake. It's a photograph. Photorealism is such a confusing art movement.


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The Worst Stuff on the Internet


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Nancy Reagan vetoes 'Ronald Reagan University', loses one (school) for The Gipper.


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You'll be prepared for the finale next week after you have read a summary of the 'Friends' episodes this year.


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The trailer for Frankie & Johnny Are Married, which is directed by Michael Pressman, and stars Michael Pressman as ... drumroll ... Michael Pressman.


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Gullible Canadians taken in by spoof news organizations - like The Daily Show, The Onion, and Fox News!


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Burt Reynolds has signed up for the remake of The Longest Yard. In the 1974 original, he was a prisoner/athlete. This time, he'll be the coach of the prison team.


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Scarlett Johansson accepts a role on Mission Impossible 3


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Google files for an IPO


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Only about 5 million free songs have been given away through a Pepsi/iTunes promotion, far fewer than the 100 million tracks that could have been redeemed.


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Take one for the country: provide US troops shipping out overseas with a sensually pleasing departure.


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A hockey stick-wielding Albuquerque man was sent to the ironbar penalty box


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The trailer for the Rhys Ifans comedy, Danny Deckchair. When the long awaited holiday of a cement truck driver is spoiled by his scheming girlfriend, he escapes his suburban prison and blasts into the skies in a garden chair tied with helium ballons. A mighty thunderstorm blows him clean of the map and spits him out far away over the lush green town of Clarence, where he rockets into the world of the town's parking cop (Miranda Otto of LOTR), and finds true love.


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The trailer for the Latin American drama, The Motorcycle Diaries. Based on the respective diaries of two Argentines, Ernesto "Che" Guevara de la Serna and Alberto Granado, the new film from award-winning director Walter Salles follows a journey of self-discovery, tracing the origins of a revolutionary heart and unveiling the rich and complex human and social topography of Latin America.


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The trailer for the Mike Hodges thriller, I'll Sleep When I'm Dead. Stars Clive Owen, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Charlotte Rampling, Malcolm McDowell, Noel Clarke


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BIN LADEN WARNS OLSEN TWINS, Attempts to Drive Wedge Between Mary-Kate, Ashley


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Bush, Cheney give double secret probationary testimony to 9/11 panel


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Hilarious! The Short, Happy Film Career of Writer-Director Daedalus Howell: "Under the mythical moniker R&H Educational Films, partners Jerry Rapp and Daedalus Howell have written and directed four 'mis-educational' films. Pathetically slow server, but worth the wait. Skip the top one and watch the four 50s-style "educational" films.


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Scientists find a fireplace 790,000 years old, with Cher's Oscar on the mantel.


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The Daily Show looks at the Kerry Medal brouhaha.


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Patriot Act Suppresses News Of Challenge to Patriot Act Get Shatner on the line. It's the Mudd's Robot Paradox again.


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Paying for Norwegian wood...: "Two young Norwegian environmentalists have created a pornographic website in an attempt to raise money for various organisations working to protect the environment"


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German brothel for sex-starved dogs
"


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Where are the penis puppeteers of the future to come from? In this crazy world or mass production and mass consumption, the gentleman craftsman is slowly dying away. Oh, those kids today! It just seems like no young people really care about penis puppetry any more. Such is the fate of all forms of "hand tooled" artistry, so to speak. At the current lack of interest, the entire craft - nay the ART - of penis puppetry could die out within the next five generations, to become a relic of the past, like Zorastrianism and liberal Republicans.


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Actor John C. Reilly quits film in protest at donkey killing. I don't know. I think he should have expected it in a movie named "Slain and Mangled Donkeys", but what do I know?


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The worst cars of all time.


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Jiggy Fly Kerry - he's one hip-hop mofo, yo.


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Celebrities re-imagined without hair


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Straight Dope Trivia: On the old Dave Garroway "Today" show, what was the name of J. Fred Muggs's girlfriend? (J Fred was the chimp.)


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The trailer for the oddball indy crime story, Rhinoceros Eyes


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The trailer for Little Black Book: (Brittany Murphy, Ron Livingston) "In Revolution Studios' delightfully unpredictable comedy 'Little Black Book,' aspiring newswoman Stacy opens a Pandora's box when her boyfriend Derek leaves temptation - his Palm electronic organizer - in her path. As Stacy uncovers Derek's past and looks up all his former girlfriends, including a gorgeous fashion model and the perfect girl next door, comic mayhem ensues. In the end, Stacy winds up learning a lot more about herself than about her beau."


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Man sells and models SIZE 12 WEDDING DRESS on e-bay. "I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, "That's such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it." So, this is what I'm doing. I'm selling it, hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer."


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The Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas is designing a 'mini-suite' especially for knee-high VIPs.


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Page 3 looks back at their twins and sisters.


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Charlize Theron will star as actress Britt Ekland in the HBO movie 'The Life and Death of Peter Sellers.'" Eckland has emerged from obscurity to note that Theron is too tall and too old.


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Will Farrell will play the Nazi playwright in the film remake of The Producers.


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People magazine's list of 'The 50 Most Beautiful People in the World 2004,' with the Olsens, cover girl Jennifer Aniston and her husband, Brad Pitt, among them." Our candidates (Clint Howard, Abe Vigoda, and Pete Postlethwaite) were passed over yet again.


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Unexpected spin-off of the obesity epidemic: Motorists Alarmed by Increasing Size of Pedestrians.


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Joey Tribbiani is getting ready to say 'How you doin?' ' to a whole new family.


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Esquire excerpt of a controversial new book: THE PENTAGON’S NEW MAP IT EXPLAINS WHY WE’RE GOING TO WAR, AND WHY WE’LL KEEP GOING TO WAR.


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The latest in cyberbegging: "My name is Mike, and I am a complete and utter pathetic loser."


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The LA Times editorializes against Britney Spears becoming a Bond girl


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"there was no way the federal government could have prevented the horrific events of Sept. 11 without accruing an enormous amount of overtime." (The Onion)


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American Idol is a lot less racist than last week - voters nuke the redhead. Sir Elton John responded that the voters were now discriminating against wimps.


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This week's movies: Mean Girls -75% positive so far. It would seem that this is the only film worth seeing this week. As for you guys - maybe you should take a week off from films, rent Predator from Blockbuster.


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This week's movies: Laws of Attraction -24% positive reviews. Incredibly enough, 24% is the second best of the week so far!


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This week's movies: Godsend - 11% positive reviews so far. This one will compete with Envy for the bomb of the week.


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This week's movies: Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius


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This week's movies: Envy - 3% positive reviews.: Jack Black, Ben Stiller. A film which seems to be so bad it was kept from the advance critical eyes and has even been panned by Black's fans. (James Berardinelli: one star out of four. Owen Glieberman: D. Film Jerk: D) The three percent at RT should really be a zero. Here is what the one "positive" guy wrote: " I choose to see Envy's nigh-nonsensical weirdness as brilliant wit rather than hapless ineptitude, and will persist in this assertion until Levinson comes to my apartment and calls himself an idiot."


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Four free short movies from Playboy's Amateur Home Videos!


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Playmate Gallery of Kelly Burke - June 1966 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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I-Mockery.com pays tribute to MANOS! - The Hands of Fate


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Spain indicts Moroccan suspect in Sept. 11 attacks.


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"Cooter" to play Dizzy Dean in a one-man play.


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The ten best all-around athletes


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Hillbilly says, "my hound dog will track down Osama" (Weekly World News)


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Nicklaus about done with golf


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Yanks win, but Jeter now 0-for-32.


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