Thursday, May 06, 2004

Captain Arab tapes gold coin to mast for first sailor to kill the Great White Bremer. A reward of gold is also offered for anyone who kills U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan, Annan's envoy to Iraq, or, oddly enough, Canadian actor/emcee Alan Thicke. (OK, just kidding about Thicke. The rest is true)


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Ex-Nazi corporal says Germany attempted to kidnap Ike This is a great story. It would make an excellent movie. Of the 600 men who were to masquerade as Americans, only 10 could speak English, and even those few betrayed themselves with British terms, like "petrol" instead of "gas". Those who weren't killed or captured by Americans were strafed by their own airplanes. The pilots were never informed that the impersonators were not really Americans!


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Andy Kaufman to return from the dead on May 16th


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General Wesley Clark hit the Buffett trifecta - campaign contributions from Jimmy, Warren, and Peter.


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Italian museum unveils a new carving of Christ on the cross - said to be a lost masterpiece by Michelangelo.


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Here's the official trailer from The Chronicles of Riddick (Don't know about the film, but the trailer looks very cool)


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From the "unsurprising" department: Democrats Calling for Rumsfeld's Ouster. The last couple of days seem to indicate that Rummy may indeed fall on his sword for the good of the POTUS.


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View the trailer for Seeing Other People - a Jay Mohr comedy


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Watch the first eight minutes of Off the Lip.


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Wife of former Enron CFO gets 12-month jail term


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The Killer List of Videogames - the IMDb of coin-op arcade games.


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The dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms. Including the Davey Crockett, and (of course) the "dreaded Rear Admiral".


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Tina Fey's senior yearbook picture, University of Virginia, 1992


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The man with the smallest penis in the world, and the electron microscope technician who loved him. (Turn down your sound if that is an issue)


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We've been punk'd! Remember that pic of the Texas Tech swim team? It was actually the Tampa Bay Storm Cheerleaders.


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The Sun's headline: "Britney in naked pool romp" It seems that the British tabloids have all assigned full-time reporters to Mouseketeer Watch.


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China's 'Planet of the Apes'. The Chinese have gone to war - against Rhesus Monkeys - and they are not allowed to kill them.


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So You've Decided to be Evil: A Step-by-Step Guide to joining the Forces of Darkness.


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Paris Hilton in Pink Bikini!


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Woman buys 10,656 Mars bars in London shop, drives off in limo . I thought Kirstie Alley was in LA. Limo must have a helluva trunk.


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NFL: pre-season power rankings - the Panthers get no love.


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MLB caught up in Spider-Man ads. As part of a marketing alliance between Major League Baseball Properties, Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios, webbed logos of the upcoming film "Spider-Man 2" will appear on bases and on-deck circles in 15 stadiums of teams playing host to interleague games June 11-13. Does anyone like this idea?


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NCAA Football already? Post-Spring Top 25. Georgia #1


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Alvin and the Chipmunkz do Gangsta Rap.


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Banished Words List :: 2004


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No Pants Day for 2004 is Friday May 7th


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Another adult film performer diagnosed as HIV-positive.


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Wiseacre Danish DJ organizes a charity drive to provide toilet paper to strike-torn Norway. I hope it is truly charity and not Lend-Lease.


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Housewife to blow Shofar to open Day of Prayer ceremony. Gardener and Pool Boy to follow in the second reel.


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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher have secretly married - according to America's In Touch magazine. On the other hand, the article says Demi and Kutcher are the same age, so it may not be 100% reliable.


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Hollywood riled up over ClearPlay. The censorship software now has 600 titles available without the violence, vulgar language, ethnic slurs, nudity, etc. I kinda like it. Watched both parts of Kill Bill in 90 seconds.


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Bob Dylan, Keith Richards, Jerry Lee Lewis, Kid Rock and Merle Haggard were among the 'outlaws and angels' in Willie Nelson featured in his USA special. The Wiltern Theater event, dubbed "Willie Nelson & Friends: Outlaws and Angels," will air as a two-hour special on Memorial Day, Monday, May 31 at 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT).


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The entire SNL cast breaks up and gets the giggles during Debbie Downer.


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Jennifer Aniston will carry an Olympic torch. To be more precise, Gunther will carry a torch for her.


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War news from Norway: Blatant abuses by the Norwegian Military during the Iraq war. They ordered pizza, and didn't leave a tip! Some soldiers even made long distance calls without permission.


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Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat fortified his West Bank headquarters with old cars, fearing an Israeli invasion is imminent. Arafat wisely realizes that the Israeli Army has only one major vulnerability - used cars. The soldiers just can't resist a chance to haggle over price.


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Supermodel Campbell wins privacy fight with British tabloid


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Which movie poster has been voted the best ever?


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Even mobsters aren't cruel enough to eat veal. (It's pedantic, but pretty slick)


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The internet-exclusive trailer for Alien Vs. Predator. It looks like the effects might just work, but the trailer gives no hint of the storyline.


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This week's movies: New York Minute - 27% positive reviews. Will bring in the pre and young teen girls. But how many and for how long?


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This week's movies: Van Helsing - 29% positive reviews. Will pull in the fanboys at first, but will it justify its costs?


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Johnny Web and JK tangle over Lars von Trier's arty Dogville.


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Mike "Ace" Bigelow will make his feature directing debut on Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo. The trade says the likeness in names between the director and the character is coincidental, but the compatibility between the risque humor in the sequel and his commercials got Bigelow the job,


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The President is short on his petty cash fund in Iraq, asks Congress to put another $25 billion in his piggy bank.


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Computer glitch gives out free gasoline. The good news for college kids: they got free gas by swiping their drivers' licenses instead of a credit card. The bad news: doing that also gave the police their names and addresses!


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Optical discs, including DVDs, may be a lot less long-lived than first thought.


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"Rush Limbaugh put it all in perspective, after a caller remarked that the pyramid 'stack [of] naked men' was 'like a college fraternity prank.' " Jesus, did he really say something as insensitive as what follows? They need to get him back on those meds.
  • RUSH: Exactly. Exactly my point! This is no different than what happens at the skull and bones initiation and we're going to ruin people's lives over it and we're going to hamper our military effort, and then we are going to really hammer them because they had a good time. You know, these people are being fired at every day. I'm talking about people having a good time, these people, you ever heard of emotional release? You of heard of need to blow some steam off?
  • I tried to get the correct context from Rush's web site, but that transcript was in a members' area.


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"Friends" Spoilers - - the Finale .... Cute. Personally, I still like my version better.


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Anna Nicole Walks Out On Howard Stern Show: "'You owe me an apology; you called me a big, fat, porker pig and tried to get me up on a scale.' "


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Playmate Gallery - Alicia Rickter, October, 1995 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Four short sample vids from Playboy's Beach Babes!


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GALLUP: Bush Approval on Iraq, Economy, and Terrorism at Low Points. Presidential contest a dead heat. Two way goes 49-48 Kerry. Three way goes 47-47-3. (Sampling error + or - 3.) Big change is that the "battleground states" now go 48-44 Kerry. Bush's 44 is down from 49 in mid-April.


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Picasso's "Boy With a Pipe" sells for $104 million at Sotheby's. The price, which included the auction house's commission, easily eclipsed the old mark of $82.5 million set by van Gogh's "Portrait of Dr. Gachet," which had stood since 1990 when speculation took hold of the art market.


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