Saturday, May 22, 2004

JoBlo does Cannes, Part 10


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New pictures from Soul Plane


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President Down - Bush falls off his bike. The secret service wrestled the bike to the ground, and Laura sprayed some Bactine on Dubbie's "owie".


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May 2 - Kerry falls off HIS bike. Is it part of a conspiracy? Was it the same bike? Is Nader, with his bike-repairing army of drones, behind it all?


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America humiliated in Vietnam because the KGB dedicated billions to anti-war protests back home.

Yeah, I still have a bunch of the money the KGB paid me to march in anti-war protests. The Republicans are supposed to be all in favor of personal enterprise and such, but those cheap bastards never offered a tenth of the bribes that the KGB mustered.

Plus, the KGB always had the best Cuban Cigars, the best dope and hookers from Southeast Asia, and obviously the best Vodka. They even had all the bootleg James Taylor albums. Oh, man, how we anti-war guys used to party with the KGB. We'd all be sitting around, singing "Fire and Rain" (the KGB's favorite song) with the spook Colonels, drinking their vodka, and planning the political demise of that valiant American patriot, Richard Nixon.

Man, that was cool when we hippies and Russkies broke into DNC headquarters and made it look like Nixon's CREEP dudes did it. Man we were shiatfaced that night. But afterwards, oh, how we laughed that deep, hearty laugh that comes up only from the chests of the truly wicked.

Good times. Good times.


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Current temperatures as I write this (5:20 Eastern): 87 in Philadelphia, 48 in Boston. "All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia."


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Finding religion in the killing fields - Khmer Rouge for Jesus.


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If you saw Old School, you know they are the greatest band in history - The Dan Band. They sing girly music. They dance like total dorks. They wear plaid sportcoats. And Dan can really sing, so you have to pay close attention to know they are kidding. But it is worth it!


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25 new stills are up at Rope of Silicon (Spider-Man 2 Movie Details Site)


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The first pictures from Renny Harlin's prequel to The Exorcist.


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If you are really into The Exorcist, you need to bookmark CaptainHowdy.com


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First photos of Nic Cage working in The Weatherman


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Moore's anti-Bush film wins the Palme d'Or at Cannes. Moore now holds the American record for scarfing up the most Palme d'Ors and the most Pommes d'Frittes


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Time Magazine accused of subtly giving the President "Devil Horns" on the new cover. Silly me, I got tricked the same way I fell for Lindsay Lohan's breasts - I thought they were natural.


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Poker Novice enters the World Series


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Dave Barry offers ten rules to make this a better world


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Lindsay Lohan appears in the new Vanity Fair


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A new TV spot for Spider-Man 2


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The world is becoming a smaller place, and the great smell of P. Diddy is part of that


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KERRY WOOS NADER WITH TRIP TO SEAWORLD.
Nader Praises Dolphin Antics, Fun Ride


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Spanish heir weds ex-journalist in sumptuous Madrid ceremony attended by 30 royal families


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Dennis Rodman has sold his Newport Beach home - because his neighbors party too much.


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Here's the trailer for THX 1138: The George Lucas Director's Cut.


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Woman Killed At Shaq's House: "Police arrested an 18-year-old man Friday after he allegedly stabbed his mother to death inside a Sugar Land, Tx. home owned by Los Angeles Lakers star Shaquille O'Neal."


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You worry about making your mortgage payment? Better hope the company doesn't move you to San francisco. Bay home prices rocket - Median clocks in above $500,000 for first time ever


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Ellen DeGeneres Earns Emmy Cred. Bob Barker won Best Game Show Host, as he has every year since the invention of broadcasting.


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A funny new trailer for Anchorman, the legend of Ron Burgundy


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