Monday, May 24, 2004

A better trailer for the new Spike Lee film, She Hate Me


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A new trailer for Facing Windows


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Truly awesome. How much did I love today's Astronomy Picture of the Day? I immediately made it my desktop background.


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What if the President gave a speech and nobody came?


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Victoria Beckham: My Hubby Never Cheated: "David Beckham's wife says in a magazine interview that her husband has never been unfaithful to her, despite the claims of two women who said they had affairs with him."


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The History of Pac-Man. Most people don't realize that it was inspired by a true story, which was immortalized by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his short essay: "James Packman: the Hunted becomes the Hunter"


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Twelve pages of girls eating bananas.


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URL says it all: JohnKerryIsADoucheBagButImVotingForHimAnyway.com


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In honor of Jimmy Fallon's departure: post- Saturday Night Live careers.


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According to Variety, Benicio Del Toro is set to star alongside Denzel Washington in the Antoine Fuqua-directed "Tru Blu." Steve Zaillian's script is a fact-based drama about how a lawman brought down the biggest drug kingpin in Harlem in the 1970s ... Other news on the page: the lead role in McG's Superman is still not cast.


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Michelangelo's David spruces up ahead of his 500th birthday.


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Again in honor of Sammy's sneeze ... the guys in sports who were NOT pussies.
  • According to ... um ... baseball lore ... Sachel Paige once pitched six games in one day, the middle two in 90 degree temperatures, last two with a broken bone in his pitching arm. He also drove the team bus and changed a flat that day. Unfortunately, he did not have time to rassle a bar or beat Mike Fink at keelboating.
  • If you have been reading this page a long time, you know of my own dad's alleged exploits as the only white man in the old Negro Leagues. Not one to be outdone by Satch, he once finished a season in a wheelchair, and even with two broken legs, he was still good enough that most teams walked him to get to Josh Gibson - even with the bases full.


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President's approval rating has dropped to yet another new low of 41 percent. The president seems unconcerned, perhaps because he thinks it is important to do what he feels is right, irrespective of the polls. Or perhaps because he doesn't understand the concept of a "percent".


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URL says it all: OgrePorn.com


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Christians plan to take over one state, and create a new sovereign Christian nation.
  • Geez, I'll miss them.
  • They have narrowed their selection to Alabama, Mississippi, and South Carolina. I was thinking more along the lines of New Jersey.
  • To be serious for a minute, if they really want to do this, their best bet would be Wyoming. With a population of only 500,000 and lots of room for more, it would be the easiest to wrest control of with a mammoth migration. Plus, there is an existing Wyoming native who could be their first Emperor.
  • Legally, however, I think their best bet is in Texas. Contrary to common belief, Texas does not have the right to secede, but it does have the right to split into as many as five states. Therefore, it would be technically possible for these people to move to West Texas somewhere, and eventually get it declared a separate state, albeit not a separate nation. Here is the joint resolution annexing Texas to the United States.


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In honor of Sammy Sosa on the DL for sneezing, and Berroa taking off fifteen days with a headache, ESPN has: Baseball's freak injuries. J.D. Drew once missed some games because of an evil demon-possessed pillow!


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Claiming that Michael Jackson is a flight risk, California prosecutors are opposing the singer's request to reduce his bail.


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McDonald's is testing DVD rental kiosks. "Would you like some porn with that Big Mac?"


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I don't think Roger Ebert has reviewed One Night in Paris, so here's AVN's overview.


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Portland hockey announcer to change his voice. Ron Ross will become Donna Ross.


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Ocean's 12 promo REALLY realistic - a $200,000 diamond turns up missing, and Clooney was getting beat up at the time.


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Mexico's hottest export: strippers. You'll be excited to know that Mexico is now Canada's #2 supplier of strippers. (Find out #1 by reading the article. Hint: think naked vampire-gymnasts.)


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The late comedian Spike Milligan's headstone now reads: "I told you I was ill". Well, that's a rough translation. It actually says "Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite", which means, "Why is this written in the first person when I didn't even speak Gaelic?"


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Jacko sucks ... baby bottles!


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Simon Cowell says the Mouseketeer needs more time in the gym, less time in the refrigerator.


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Sweden, long jealous of its Norwegian neighbor's reputation as the world's most boring country, has launched a counter-offensive of incredibly unimportant headlines. "Swedish elk steals bicycle". That's some big news right there. The name of the elk, by the way, is Droopy Ear. The name of the bicycle has not been revealed, pending an investigation to determine whether it is the same evil, demon-possessed bicycle that has recently terrorized Mr Bush and Mr Kerry.


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Kerry Gets Google-Bombed on "waffles". Lord knows, we have to prevent waffling at all costs. America needs a President who doesn't have enough intelligence or mental flexibility to change his mind when he sees that his former position is incorrect.


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Foreign Fingers - how to "give the finger" in any culture.


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A trailer for Deep Blue, a documentary about the Ocean's depths.


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A trailer for The Hunting of the President - "a glimpse at the genesis of these partisan vendettas and explores the myths and truths behind the nearly 10-year campaign to systematically destroy the political legacy of the Clintons". Documentary narrated by Morgan Freeman.


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Surely you are familiar with the Confederacy's pernicious use of pterodactyls to spy on Union troop movements.


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Mothers Against Peeing Standing Up


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If you're a fan, you need to bookmark The Friends Episode Guide, complete with sample dialogue from every episode.


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If you get near Dublin, Ohio, be sure to see the Concrete Corn Field. I don't know why you would, but I don't know why anyone would have made it, either.


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CostofSex.com - how much are you paying to have sex with your girlfriend?


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Hexadecimal Color Codes in HTML That Look or Sound Dirty, But Are in Fact Merely Colorful


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This is a much cooler car crash than anything you've seen in the movies.


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URL says it all: My-Vasectomy.com


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Little Fluffy Industries: Free Online Games Daily


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Customized WAV files for your AOL or non-AOL account by El Edwards. He is the "you've got mail" guy. For a few bucks, he makes you a personalized version.


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Cannabis-based Spray To Treat Multiple Sclerosis. I'd like to use it as an air freshener. Does it only come in spray, or can you also get the adjustable cone?


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Boy expelled for throwing pie too hard. An Ohio high school honor student who won a drawing allowing him to throw a pie in his principal's face was expelled until winter after allegedly throwing it too hard. And he might even face criminal charges. The principal's assault complaint has been referred to prosecutors.
  • That school administrator's brain must have been damaged by pies thrown at last year's event. You have to assume that the administrator, not the kid, chose the pie to be thrown and the distance from which it would be thrown. So she chose a combination which, when thrown by a healthy young kid, could hurt her?
  • "Here, Timmy, try some of Mom's Good Ol' Fashioned Cherry and Lead Pellet Pie. Mighty good eatin', and a killing machine!"
  • I believe the courts will be able to base this ruling on the landmark decision: Soupy Sales vs The Board of Education


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More structural problems at Chuck de Gaulle airport in Paris


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Source: Kobe will be on time for Game 4 tip-off


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Agassi loses French Open qualifier to Frenchman in first-ever tournament.


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Stomp Tokyo Video Reviews - A Very Star Wars Christmas (1982)


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Terrorists say they will kill Madonna if she performs in Israel. I know this isn't funny, so I'll pass on the obvious jokes about how the terrorists may not be as bad as we thought, and "the show must go on", and so forth. The terrorists also threatened to kill Madonna's babies. That really ain't good for any laughs.
  • But I can't help but wonder which branch of Al-Qaeda keeps up on the world concert schedules. "OK, Kareem, while we go to attack the infidels, you surf the web for primo concert tickets. And we have to have really good seats, up close, with a clear sight-line to Madonna. If you can't get us in Tel Aviv, try the one in Motown. And if we can't get in to Madonna's concert, maybe we can kill Wayne Newton or David Hasselhoff instead." My God, I just thought - do you think the terrorists were behind the mauling incident with Roy and Siegfried? Is nothing sacred to them?


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One more nekkid roller coaster pic


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Valeria Golino pulls an Italian version of Janet Jackson, whips out her boobies on Italian TV for several million viewers. To quote the great philosopher Marv Albert, "Yesssssssssssssssssssss".


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