Thursday, June 17, 2004

Former Globetrotter sentenced to 17 years for fraud. He bet on the Generals, then threw the game.


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J.K. Rowling Ends Harry Potter Series After Discovering Boys


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One day's report: 1O6 False Science Claims


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Monty Python's Terry Jones agrees with Rumsfeld on this whole torture thing, uses approved methods to "extract information" from his teenage kids.


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Kobe Bryant defense team wins phone records of accuser's former boyfriend, including all text messages..


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2004 Campaign Advertising - GeorgeWBush.org - Official Site to Re-Select Bush/Cheney in 2004! (For the terminally slow: this site is a parody)


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Three more spots and three clips from Spider-Man 2


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President Bush: "The reason I keep insisting that there was a relationship between Iraq and Saddam and al Qaeda, because there was a relationship between Iraq and al Qaeda."
"Of course it was a negative relationship. They were trying to oust him from power. But, hey, I never said it was one a them thar positonic relationships! I just said relationship. Well, actually, I probably said relationism, but then Condi made me change the word. Nanny, nanny, boo, boo"


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French declare Michael Moore winner of the Tour de France. The stunning victory for Mr. Moore in the world’s most famous bicycle race was particularly surprising because Mr. Moore is not known to have ever owned or even climbed upon a bicycle in his entire life. But what made the win truly controversial was the fact that the Tour de France was not scheduled to begin until next month. “In recognition of Mr. Moore’s contributions to the world of cinema and to the world in general, we felt it was only fair to give him a month’s head start”


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Mel Gibson is the "Most Powerful Celebrity"


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Donald to get webbed footprints on Walk of Fame


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Yahoo! News - Kelly Ripa Signs 5-Year 'Live' Contract. He co-star Regis, has two years to co on each of his major contracts, one with "Live" and one with Satan.


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I thought Affleck gave up drinkin'


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Panthers QB gets 5-year, $38 million extension.


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The "Globally Acclaimed" Vagina Institute


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Christopher Walken offers his own spin . Hey, he wants to play the Brad Pitt roles, but people just don't view him that way.


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The Zeta-Jones stalker bust. When stalking Natalie Portman's mom just isn't enough. If I were going to get into the stalker biz, I'd try someone a little less temperamental than Zeta. Maybe I'd stalk Tom Selleck or Stifler.


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Madonna is marking her adoption of Kabbalah by changing her name to Esther. "I wanted to attach myself to the energy of a different name."


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The Ol' Chinese Tattoo Prank: oldest trick in the book (of Confucius).


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An embarrassing photograph of Larry King's garbage has been pulled from an art exhibit because it shows a box of Depends adult diapers among the detritus.


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You really have to hand it to Victoria's Secret


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Script Review of The Transporter 2


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Playboy's Breast Test


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American model and actress Caprice Bourret has won an apology and undisclosed damages in London's High Court over a newspaper article saying her acting career had 'failed spectacularly'. Apparently she was able to prove in court that her acting career was successful. If I ever commit a crime, I want that lawyer. If he can prove Caprice's acting career is successful, he can prove anything.


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Whatever happened to ... ? Monica Lewinsky


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TechTV's Morgan Webb in Maxim Mag July '04


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Pat O'Brien is leaving 'Access Hollywood' for a new gig as anchor of 'The Insider,' an upcoming spinoff of 'Entertainment Tonight'.


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Four free short videos from Playboy's Amateur Home Videos!


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Playmate Gallery - Irina Voronina, January, 2001 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Ah-nuld in "80 Days" - as The Perminator


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Blogger Monkey said...

Not a comment on this item in particular - but on ALL of them - I love your blog - read it everyday and really enjoy the links and laughs - thanks for all your hard work and for the great fun!

 

More crack naked celebrity reportage from the paper of record, the Sun. The British are so wise. When is USA Today going to add bare supermodel breasts?


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

The U.K. rules!

 

Pope John Paul asks forgiveness for the Spanish Inquisition. Nobody expects forgiveness for the Spanish Inquisition. Lack of forgiveness is our main weapon. Well, lack of forgiveness and lack of surprise are our two main weapons. Oh, and lack of pretty red uniforms - THREE main weapons. Start again. "Amongst our weaponry .... "


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Move over Tiger: N. Korea's Kim shoots a 34 for 18 holes in his 1st time out. And he would have done even better if those little windmills hadn't kept fucking him up.


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Clinton tells '60 Minutes' about his infidelities. In 60 minutes they were only able to cover his life up to age 14. The rest of the interview will be included in the deleted scenes of the 30-disk DVD issue of the interview.


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Poll results. We still love Love.. "Of the women who have not done a filmed nude scene of any significance, whose first nude scene are you most eager to see?"

The winner of this poll, by a landslide, was Jennifer Love Hewitt, who out-polled the next two women added together! I guessed she'd be in the top ten, but I figured it would be low in the top ten. I never dreamed she'd be #1, and the landslide flabbergasts me. Obviously, Uncle Hef should be seeking her out for a celebrity spread, because she's still the girl of our dreams.


My favorite girl, Jessica Alba, finished a very convincing second, easily beating the third place winner, Elisha Cuthbert. I did vote for Alba myself, but I didn't expect her to make the top ten, given that the list included bigger names and/or women with hotter current projects. Here are my other surprises:

  1. I didn't think that Alison Hannigan would finish in the top 10, although I do think she is sexy in a friendly, off-beat way. I was surprised to see her beat Natalie Portman, The Olsens, Winona Ryder, and Jennifer Aniston.
  2. The Olsens had virtually no support.
  3. I thought Scarlett Johansson would kick ass and finish in the top ten, possibly in the top three, but she had remarkably little support with only 29 votes out of more than 1200 cast.
  4. Support was remarkably light for Nikki Cox and Jeri Ryan


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