Monday, June 21, 2004

Liv Tyler to be a mom


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A four minute trailer for the Star Wars original trilogy DVD.


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Tarantino to do Kill Bill 3 in the year 2019. His fans are probably already in line.


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An hysterical BRITNEY SPEARS had to be calmed down by paramedics after her car ran over a photographer. (Her mom was driving.)


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Stripper dilemna: she's allergic to the pole!


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Jeri Ryan's husband pressured her to have public sex in clubs, while others watched. Unfortunately for us, Jeri was wise to say "no". How long do you think pictures of those acts would have stayed off the internet?


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Urban Legends: Sorry, there is no skeleton of a giant man in Saudi Arabia.


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"Cheney needs to step aside for good of Bush, party". Forget for a minute whether you approve of the President or not and try to put yourself in the President's shoes. If you were the Prez, would you eliminate Cheney BEFORE the election? Hell, no. You run the risk of exposing some unknown to the rigorous scrutiny of the election process. Every newspaper and every Democrat in the country will be digging up everything the new guy has done since he was toilet trained. The only way to avoid that would be to choose McCain or Powell, choices which I presume the President would avoid to assure spiritual continuity after his second term. Cheney, on the other hand, is felt to be a known commodity and a stable leader. Whatever dirt there is on him has already been dug up. Furthermore, the President ran with hardliner Cheney when Dubya himself was considered a moderate Republican like his dad. Now that the President is considered an extreme Christian conservative, he would (presumably) have to choose a respected moderate, like McCain for example, to balance the ticket. That means that the neo-con revolution would probably end with Dubya. If I were Dubya, I would run with Cheney, with the understanding that Cheney would resign "for health reasons" sometime after the election. That would allow the President to by-pass the electoral process, avoid the McCains of the world, and nominate his true spiritual heir to the Vice-Presidency, subject only to a simple majority approval in both houses of Congress.
  • Note: I'm not saying I approve of that process, but it is perfectly legal, good strategy, and is what I might do in the President's position.
  • Exception: ignore the above if the President simply thinks he will lose unless he chooses McCain or Powell. In that case, he will simply have to do what he has to do to win. A Bush/McCain ticket would be very strong, and would conduct a fairly clean campaign, not just because McCain and Kerry are friends, but because McCain is an ethical man and would insist on it. In my opinion, choosing McCain as a running mate would lift the President's stature both in reality and in perception. But I don't think he would do it unless he thought there was no other way to win.


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Unfairenheit 9/11. Professional iconoclast Christopher Hitchens weighs in on Michael Moore: "Fahrenheit 9/11 is a sinister exercise in moral frivolity, crudely disguised as an exercise in seriousness. It is also a spectacle of abject political cowardice masking itself as a demonstration of 'dissenting' bravery." Rhetoric aside, it's quite a good article. Hitchens is not a member of the Bush spin team, by any means, but a free thinker who often takes a hearty dump on conservatives as well. His last major article was The Stupidity of Ronald Reagan, in which he said, "The fox, as has been pointed out by more than one philosopher, knows many small things, whereas the hedgehog knows one big thing. Ronald Reagan was neither a fox nor a hedgehog. He was as dumb as a stump."


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A Straight Dope Classic: Why did mystery writer Agatha Christie mysteriously disappear in 1926?


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This site has thousands of free pictures of Aria Giovanni!


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Hotmail blocks gmail, bounces Gmail invitations


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The trailer for The Grudge: "An English-language remake of the Japanese horror thriller 'Ju-On'. 'The Grudge' is about a murderous supernatural curse born of a grudge held by someone who dies angry. The curse passes like a virus to its victims." Starring Buffy.


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Nostalgia: TomWilsonUSA.com - Tom Wilson's "Big Pop Fun". An unapologetic tribute to kitschy stuff you had almost forgotten, but still secretly love.


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SADDAM, OSAMA "JUST GOOD FRIENDS""No Relationship", aays bin Laden's Publicist


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Did Britney's Mom Pull A Lizzie Grubman?


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Thai officials organized a soccer game between elephants and prisoners Sunday in hopes of discouraging gambling on the European Championships. It has not yet been determined whether Burt Reynolds will play a convict or an elephant in the movie version.


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From the department of "I didn't make this up": What do you call pork fat soaked in chocolate? A "Ukrainian Snickers".


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Luba, wife of the legendary Hegre. (Oh, yeah, did I mention she's nekkid?)


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Celebrity Poker News: Ben Affleck wins a California State Hold 'em Tournament. Yes, this was a highly competitive event, and yes, it is THAT Ben Affleck. The lad can play.


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Ralph Nader chooses a running mate. I know what you're thinking. "Talk about minor news. Even in Norway they must have buried this item amid the gardening tips." Actually, this is important because Nader chose a prominent member of the Green Party. Nader's timing was deliberate - the Green Party convention starts the day after tomorrow, and he wants to be that Party's nominee because they are already on the ballot in 22 states and DC.


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Lauren Jackson, WNBA MVP, poses nude in an Aussie magazine. (With topless picture from the "making of" special)


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Owen Wilson has signed on to co-star with Natalie Portman in the comedy THE SMOKER. Wilson will star as a teacher at a prestigious all-girls school who finds himself the subject of a student's affection and eventually her proposal to marry.


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Whoa - they had to stop the presses in Norway! It's their biggest front page headline story ever - SAS pilots get cockpit alarm clocks. "SAS long-distance flights between Scandinavia and the US now are flown by two pilots instead of three. SAS has, however, provided the two remaining pilots with an alarm clock in case one of them takes a nap."


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Today's news from Norway: The Norwegian government cracks down on a private school that lists Jesus Christ as executive manager . Hiring Mr Christ was a risky move for the school, given the rather long gap in his employment history, thirty years of unexplained whereabouts after his birth, and a mysterious Egyptian stamp on his passport. The move has paid off beautifully for the bottom line, however, since Mr Christ refuses a salary, based on something about the birds of the air and the lilies of the field.


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Man obtains bush2004.com, creates a satire site, turns down offers as high as $135,000 to sell the domain to Bush loyalists.


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An expert evaluates the worst concepts in Porn.


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"Michael Moore Hates America" - a Michael Moore-style film about Michael Moore.


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Additional captures from the Jenna Lewis sex video


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According to this article, Connecticut Gov. John G. Rowland, the subject of investigations into alleged corruption and facing possible impeachment, will announce his resignation Monday night. This gives him several more hours to remove anything not tied down.


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My Life - The Memoirs of Bill Clinton - (The Movie Version). Starring Ron Jeremy as Clinton. Ah, it's good to have Bubba to kick around again. Those Dubya "I'm a 'tard" jokes were getting old. Also on the page are links to three related stories:
  • Lewinsky Ghost Writer Fellates Clinton Ghost Writer
  • Each Copy of Clinton Book to Include Condom and Penicillin Shot
  • MoveOn.org Demands Free Republic Remove Thread Comparing Clinton to Clinton


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Bill Clinton My Life - Book Covers That Did Not Make The Cut


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Steve Irwin uses Justin Timberlake to feed a giant croc. And the Croc wanted Eminem for dessert! The article says that Timberlake was completely at ease since he is used to dealing with reptiles. And, of course, the reptile would not actually eat him, based on professional courtesy.


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Private Rocket Plane Successfully Punches Into Space


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Trannies get toilet: "Snubbed by both men and women, transvestite students at the Chiang Mai Technology School just wanted a restroom to call their own -- and were granted their wish"


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Iranians sieze three British ships, arrest the eight crewmembers. Eight men to man three "ships"? I think it is safe to assume they were not aircraft carriers. Inspiration for next Bond film: In Her Majesty's Canoes.


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Clinton gets 'visibly angry' in British TV interview. The BBC took the position that his feud with Republicans was a civil war among "far right-wingers". Kidding aside, it was a Lewinsky thing, and Bubba vented some steam.


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Playmate Gallery, Holly Joan Hart - April 1998, Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Four free short videos from SPICE TV RAW!


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Oh, we forgot to mention the good news: the Messiah is here. The bad news: it's Reverend Moon. "Reverend Moon claims to have had a pow-wow with ... religious figures in the heavens who declared him the Messiah." Strangely, when I talked to those same guys, they told me I was the Messiah. I wish the voices in one's head would agree on a consistent message.


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GALLUP: Topically timed with the release of Clinton's memoirs, here is a Gallup Poll review of the Clinton Presidency


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