Tuesday, June 22, 2004

The American Film Institute chooses the Top 100 songs in American movies. "Puberty Love", from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, was #1. OK, maybe not. Click on the link for the complete list.


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BOROWITZ: "My Life", the lengthy memoir by former President Bill Clinton, has been declared a weapon of mass destruction The 957 page tome fell off a bookstore shelf in Portland, Oregon today, killing three people and seriously wounding five others.


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COLIN FARRELL's full-frontal nude scene was cut from A Home at the End of the World because his dick is so enormous. Colin is so incensed he won’t be shown in his full glory in cinemas, he is demanding the scenes be included when the film comes out on DVD. The producers have agreed, so his female fans have a treat in store.


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Jennifer Lopez employs a professional shoe-fastener. This position pays a bit more than her nipple-tweaker. In fact, the nipple-tweaker applied for the shoe-fastening job, but was told he just wasn't ready.


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Some celebrity bloggers.


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Val Kilmer says Brad Pitt is a wimp.


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The Daily Show: President Clinton reflects on his special White House memories while wearing silly shoes.


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Michael Moore 'has consulted with lawyers who can bring defamation suits against anyone who maligns the film or damages his reputation' They better get started against Christopher Hitchens (see link below).


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Awful Plastic Surgery says Tara Reid has new breasts.


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Three FBI officials have contradicted sworn testimony by Attorney General John Ashcroft to the 9/11 commission.


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The Lollapalooza music festival tour has been canceled because of poor ticket sales, according to its Web site.


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Senate, still showing off their post-tittygate morality, votes to up fines for indecent broadcasts


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The official website for Oliver Stone's ALEXANDER. The voice-over, only a couple of lines, seems to be supplied by Hannibal Lecter himself.


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Gary Oldman in Episode III?


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''Fahrenheit 911'' loses R rating appeal


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The trailer for Code 46, which is rated R for "brief graphic nudity". : "'Code 46' is a love story set in an eerily possible near-future where cities are heavily controlled and only accessible through checkpoints. People cannot travel unless they have 'papelles,' a special travel insurance. Outside these cities, the desert has taken over and shanty towns are jammed with non-citizens - people without papelles whose lives are severely restricted. William (Tim Robbins) is a family man who works as an insurance investigator. When his company sends him to another city to solve a case of fake papelles, he meets a woman named Maria (Samantha Morton). Although he knows she has been creating the forgeries, he falls completely in love with her. He hides her crime and they have a wild, passionate affair that can only last as long as his papelles: 24 hours. Back home, William is obsessed with the memory of Maria. He tries to see her but is refused the necessary papers to travel. Desperate, he uses one of the fake papelles he kept from his investigation. He eventually tracks her down, only to discover she has been accused of a Code 46 violation."


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The company distributing 'Fahrenheit 9/11' says it won't reject an offer of help from Middle East terrorist organization Hezbollah. From Disney to Hezbollah? Who's doing his ad campaign, Carlos the Jackal?
  • FROM THE SITE: "Last month, Moore and his partners boasted the movie would be rolled out in more than 1,000 theaters nationwide. Later, that number was revised to 'about 1,000.' The next estimate was 750. In recent days, the guess had dropped to below 500."
  • FROM MOORE'S SITE: Moore wrote on June 18th: "As of this morning, a little over 500 theaters have agreed to show the movie beginning next Friday, June 25."



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UNDERSTANDING THE 9/11 COMMISSION STATEMENTS: VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY'S SELECT TRANSLATIONS OF DELUSIONAL LIBERAL MUMBO-JUMBO INTO PATRIOTIC FACTS


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Pimp eye for the Volvo guy. If TV can make you over, surely it can do your car as well.


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Cult Novel-Turned-Film "Fight Club" May Become a Musical. The first rule about fight club is you don't talk about fight club - you SING about it instead.


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ESPN's Page 2 - Poker ain't like it used to be


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David Bowie hit in the eye by a lollipop in Norway. The Norwegians are a gentle people, but don't get them riled - they turn rabid. Nearly half a dozen Norsemen suffer each year from ferocious lollipop wounds.


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Big news in Norway: 97% of the elderly people in Northern Norway wear dentures. How the hell many elderly people live in Northern Norway?


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One of the Olsen twins has reportedly entered a treatment facility to seek professional help for an eating disorder.


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The Trailer for Stupidity, the Documentary


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The trailer for Kung Fu Jesus (I think the trailer IS the movie, or movie parody, or whatever you want to call it)


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Lots of video excerpts from the BBC's interview with Bill Clinton.


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Model Claudia Schiffer is expecting her second child


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The man who created broadcast news - Edward R Murrow


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The United States Professional Dodgeball League


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U.S. to Give 'Legal' Custody of Saddam to Iraqis. This is an oblique way to say that the US will keep him prisoner, but will allow Iraqis to decide his fate.


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Christian Slater betrayed his wife with a £300-a-time London vice girl, says The News of the World. He enjoyed explosive sex with 19-year-old Abbey Russo, a scandal echoing the star's hit film True Romance in which his character falls for a vice girl.


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Porn actress claims, "I fucked Alec Baldwin in his ass". He was probably researching a role, possibly for a prison movie.


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Nudity report from the CineVegas Film Festival on THE HILLSIDE STRANGLER (2004) ...
  • 5 minutes: Brittany Daniel engages in sex at a swingers party, revealing her breasts.
  • 32 minutes: There is a picture of Brittany Daniel, revealing a breast.
  • 44 minutes: (1)Brittany Daniel takes off her blouse, revealing her breasts before joining her boyfriend and another woman. She gets out of bed completely naked, offers a good look at her posterior, but never goes full-frontal. (2) Michelle Borth, the other woman in the threesome, shows her breasts.
  • 60 minutes: Brittany Daniel's breasts are seen as she takes a bath.


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A British schoolboy was banned from an important exam because his trousers were the wrong shade of black.


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Here's a picture from that naked shopping night in London. Has any event with 15 participants ever gotten this much publicity? At least this article has a picture.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is a pretty cool concept. Too bad the photo is of a reporter for NakedNews.com

-keltick

 

Researchers have located the Browning automatic pistol used to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir to the throne of Austria-Hungary, and his wife Sophie in Sarajevo on June 28 1914. The act is generally considered to have started WW1,


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The Man Show's Fat Kid tries to pick up chicks


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Bill Clinton's dream of becoming president began during a fortuitous 1963 visit with John F. Kennedy, who told him the job was 'great for nailing chicks'. The New York Times called the work "skanky, auto-erotic and libido-crushingly dull," lamenting that the memoir contains no mention of Clinton's alleged Lincoln Bedroom gangbangs or his racy "Interns Gone Wild" videos.


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Turn in a pirate, get $500, and you get to keep his parrot.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Supreme Court says police can arrest you for failing or refusing to identify yourself.


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VIDEO: ABC and the Chicago Tribune were able to obtain the divorce documents of Jack and Jeri Ryan. Most of the story is about sex clubs at this moment. Jack is a Senate candidate. Jeri is 7 of 9.


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60,000 people and 2,500 policemen jam Palace Square to see Paul McCartney play in St Petersburg. Of course, this article is from Pravda, and it is usually safe to knock a zero off all their claims. Assume there were 6,000 people, and 250 policemen, and you'll probably be closer to the truth.


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PAIGE Davis does an impromptu strip for charity. "The star of The Learning Channel's 'Trading Spaces,' could easily trade places with a stripper. At the Broadway Bares/Equity Fights Aids gala at Roseland Sunday night, Davis 'pulled up her sundress to her hips, showing off her tiny thong, and started to strip,' a witness says. 'She did a go-go dance and then, all sweaty, let men maul her breasts and shove dollar bills into the front of her tiny G-string "


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From the "I didn't make this up" department: Sharon Osbourne is named the most powerful person in Rock, just edging out #2, Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness. 'Twas a time when the Evil One dared to challenge God himself for supremacy of all of creation. Now it turns out he can't even beat Sharon Osbourne. Satan did manage to finish a few spots higher than Avril Lavigne, and I'm pretty sure he edged out Anson "Potsie" Williams.


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Naked shoppers hunt for bargains. It's already Courtney Love night again? The big shopping event drew 15 naked shoppers in the massive city of London, which means BBC must have been having a mighty slow news night to report it. I assume BBC's staff at the event must have outnumbered the shoppers.


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Johnny Web reviews the immortal cinema classic, Dragon Storm. Entertainment at its finest. Two key points: (1) medieval guys battle creatures from outer space in 1190 A.D. (2) the film was directed by the guy who played Flounder in Animal House


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Very interesting article from GALLUP: The Cultural Landscape: What is Morally Acceptable? "A recent Gallup Poll testing Americans' reaction to the moral acceptability of 16 social issues finds nearly unanimous agreement that three of the items are immoral: polygamy, extramarital affairs, and human cloning. On the other hand, most believe that six are morally acceptable: divorce, the death penalty, gambling, use of animal fur for human clothing, medical testing on animals, and premarital sex. Americans are close to split on four: having a baby outside of marriage, abortion, homosexual behavior, and doctor assisted suicide. Nearly equal numbers consider each of these morally acceptable as morally wrong. Generational differences in these attitudes are generally greater than gender differences."


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