Thursday, July 29, 2004

Miss America Axes Talent Competition: "The Miss America pageant is pulling the plug on its talent competition, eliminating the amateurish two-minute routines that have come to feature cheesy stunts such as tractor driving and trampoline jumping. "


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What kind of reviews did Tolkien get when he released Lord of the Rings in 1954? (Fascinating article)


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Krispy Kreme under investigation. Has to be a detective's dream assignment.


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MSN Encarta Premium - 10 Words You Simply Must Know


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Jaggle has some nice pictures of Cameron Diaz in a small bikini


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Encarta offers: 10 Words You "Simply Must Know"


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BROKEN NEWZ: RIAA Sues Amish Man for Illegal Whistling of Copyrighted Material


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A government scientist was arrested, handcuffed, and detained for three hours by transit police in D.C. Her crime: eating a PayDay bar.


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McDonald's 90-day Diet. This is what would happen if you had no private agenda like Spurlock, but just wanted to find out what would really happen. Woody's rules:
  1. Eat ONLY at McDonald's and nowhere else, not even at home
  2. Eat french fries with every meal
  3. Supersize when offered
  4. Avoid healthy items like salads, yogurt parfaits, and grilled items
  5. Consume at least one dessert everyday
  6. Drink NO water at anytime, only diet sodas
  7. Breakfast was optional, Lunch and Dinner were mandatory
As you can see, Woody's dietary rules were pretty much the same as Spurlock's, except substituting diet soda for regular soda (piling on the calories with soft drinks was Spurlock's "cheat"). Unlike Spurlock, he exercised regularly. The result: he lost weight, all of his health indicators improved, and he spent a reasonably economical $300 per month on food.


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Pakistan captures high-level al Qaeda operative. At this point, they can't decide whether to turn him over to international authorities, or declare him their new President. The man they captured appears to be Michael Jackson, pre-surgery.


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This reads like satire, but I think they are claiming that it is true. Capitol Hill Blue claims: Bush Using Drugs to Control Depression, Erratic Behavior. They assert that Bush’s mental stability has become the topic of Washington whispers in recent months. Capitol Hill Blue has been reporting for nearly two months about increasing concern among White House aides over the President’s wide mood swings and obscene outbursts. “Keep those motherfuckers away from me,” he allegedly screamed at an aide backstage after his ill-fated July 8th press conference. “If you can’t, I’ll find someone who can.”


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The zenith of filmmaking has been reached, in Adolph Hitler, the Disco Fuehrer.


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The trailer for Criminal : "This is an English-language version of the Argentine hit Nine Queens, which is a Mamet-inspired caper/sting film. Nine Queens, by the way, is an excellent film. The remake stars John C. Reilly, Diego Luna, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.


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Bluto's voice is silenced.


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At last, a consumer-oriented comparison of the most popular life-sized, anatomically correct silicone dolls: Realdoll vs. Superbabe


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Got twenty grand to burn? Try joining a Russian nuclear icebreaker in the search for an Eskimo legend.


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BOROWITZ: As Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry crossed Boston Harbor in a boat filled with his former Vietnam War comrades, President George W. Bush attempted to upstage Mr. Kerry by holding a reunion of his Alabama National Guard unit. “I’m pretty sure I remember him,” said Tracy Conner, 57, of Mobile. “If I’m not mistaken, he called me late one night and said, ‘Sign in for me tomorrow, willya pal?’”


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People Magazine claims: 'Talk About Our Love' singer Brandy is engaged to pro basketball player Quentin Richardson


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If you just can't get enough of stick figures, you might want to use this as wallpaper for your blog, assuming you can bear to lose the Legos you have there now.


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The universal break-up card!


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Famous "Giving the Finger" Fotos


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Films of all the classic TV intros from the past couple of decades (Click on TV Intro's)


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Army submits Mi-24 chopper to "Pimp My Ride"


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Conversational cheap shots - how NOT to talk!


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The Sneeze interviews Savage Steve Holland, director of the cult film (and a personal favorite), "Better off Dead".


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The Sneeze, Vol 6: Steve, Don't Eat It.


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Project Vote Smart - Mr. Jackson Grimes for President of the USA. You have to love his picture!! Very presidential.


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Anna Nicole Smith defends Kirstie Alley's right to be fat. (Although Anna Nicole herself decided to get thinner again)


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Playboy Suing Fraternity Over Use Of Bunny Logo For Party. They claim that they suffered serious and substantial damage to their reputation and the integrity of their bunny. They are also suing Monty Python and Jimmy Carter for their "killer bunny" stories.


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Inmate mistakenly released, then rearrested.


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A federal appeals court Wednesday upheld a 1998 Alabama law banning the sale of sex toys in the state, ruling the Constitution doesn't include a right to sexual privacy.


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The Elektra movie may include an Affleck cameo. Costume experts say they will have to modify the Daredevil suit so Affleck can put it on while his lips are attached to John Kerry's ass.


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Zeta-Jones recounts bizarre stalker terror


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Alaskan volcano awakening from slumber.


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Is your dad's birthday coming up? Please consider Uncle Booger's Bumper Dumper. Now only $59.95.


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The Dangers of Bread. A proposal to regulate the hell out of this frighteningly dangerous substance.


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Cute animal pictures


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School is coming up. Here's your guide to college pranks.


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Man On Charter Fishing Trip Gets Bitten By Barracuda. What's so weird about that? He was on the boat at the time.


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Here's a clip of that award show in which Ashley Judd appeared to be pantyless


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Personalized Plate Angers Moms. They seemed to think that the plate "GOT MILF" was offensive.


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Vanity License Plate Brings Tickets: A guy got the tag "NO TAG", and with it, hundreds of parking tickets that said 'Notice of violation. License number: no tag'


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Nice collection of (clothed) Halle Berry pics


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It's a Jerk, It's a Vandal, It's Superman!


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Normally, when people claim there is a message to be found by playing a song backwards, I find that their imagination has gotten the best of them. In this case, however, there is a fairly persuasive argument that Stairway to Heaven Backwards does include intelligible speech, and that the words praise Satan. If it is not imaginary, this is an impressive engineering feat, since the words seem to be intelligible backwards and forwards. (Pink Floyd has a song with an obvious reverse message, for example, but it is gibberish when played FORWARD.)


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Still only six reviews of The Village, which is now down to 67% positive.
A reader wrote in response to my earlier remarks, "It's probably not accurate to suggest that Shyamalan and Disney have been withholding "The Village" from critics: there may have been fewer earlier screenings, but the all-media screening in L.A. (with plenty of critics) was Tuesday night, which was a little later than usual but well within usual parameters. (Monday and Tuesday the week of release are normal; Thursday's a danger sign, and no all-media is an admission of defeat.) The most unusual thing was that invitations were Fedexed Monday morning, when they're usually mailed a couple of weeks early.

That said, they might have been wise to delay the screening even more. The smattering of applause at the end of the movie was pretty much balanced out by laughs, which also erupted when Shyamalan revealed his two big "twists," both of which should have been obvious to half the audience within five minutes of the start of the movie, if not before. I'm sure plenty of critics will buy this pretentious & portentous hogwash, but when the final tally is in I expect that a fair number will point out that the movie is a steaming load of horseshit. If it's any indication, the restroom chatter afterwards was not kind. Of course, that's just my opinion... "



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The Women Of Home Depot


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Woman has 25 operations to achieve Britain's Biggest Breasts


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News and gossip about upcoming TV episodes!


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The first trailer for Closer: "Director Mike Nichols brings Patrick Marber's highly acclaimed theatrical tour de force 'Closer' to the screen, an erotically charged tale of love, loneliness and betrayal featuring an all-star cast." (Natalie Portman, Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Clive Owen)


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Kerry's camp is peeved at the 'Leaked' oompa-loompa photo


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Terra set to sell Lycos for $95-$115 MILLION, They paid more than $12 BILLION for it.


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