Wednesday, September 29, 2004

A stunning brunette claims she is carrying twins fathered by pop star Michael Jackson.


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Madonna enrolls at Oxford


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Green Day debuts at No. 1 for first time.


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"Aftermath of Hurricane Charley reveals message from God on billboard. "


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"Ultrasonic mosquito repellers all have one thing in common: none of them work. At all."


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Kids visit Margaritaville - Virginia grade schoolers accidentally served alcohol at lunch


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CBS kicks ass in the ratings during premiere week


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How to Debate George Bush - By AL GORE


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Kim Jong Il sings. A musical clip from Team America: World Police.


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Connery calls it quits?


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Recreating the legend of the Booger Dance


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James Bond is officially an American now, will henceforth be known as "Jimbo".


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"Germany should have quotas for the radio airtime to be dedicated to pop sung in the native language". The article is illustrated with apicture fo David Hasselhoff, whose popularity has apparently killed off all the local talent. I can relate. How can they possibly hope to compete with Hasselhoff? Their only choice is to ban his music and end his hypnotic control over their lives.


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Eight clips from Friday Night Lights, Billy Bob's flick about Texas high school football, our official state religion.


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The trailer for Going Upriver: The Long War of John Kerry


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The trailer and a little featurette action for Raise Your Voice, the latest Hilary Duff flick: " 'Raise Your Voice' stars Hilary Duff as Terri Fletcher, a small town girl with the voice of a big-time singer. When a personal tragedy interrupts her steady life, Terri defies her father's wishes and secretly heads off to spend a summer at a Los Angeles performing arts academy. But the school brings a whole new set of challenges for Terri, who suddenly finds herself part of a highly competitive program in an intimidating new city. Though initially overwhelmed by her new surroundings, Terri rises to the occasion with the help of some newfound friends, an encouraging teacher, and a first love that captures her heart. "


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Here's a second trailer for Christmas with the Kranks, this years obligatory Tim Allen Christmas movie


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Jon Stewart shouts out to his stoned slacker audience, and debate rules will keep Bush from ball-scratching.


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Rosie Perez tells The Daily Show that she likes naked pictures of supreme court justices. And, I would guess, vice-versa. Possibly excepting Judge Souter.


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Meryl Streep to star in "All the King's Men" remake with Sean Penn, Jude Law.


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Salma Hayek bringing popular Colombian 'telenovela', Ugly Betty, to US.


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Cynthia Nixon's mystery girlfriend is a mystery no longer.


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Porn stars hate Dick, want to lick Bush.


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Remember that break-in into the home of the Hilton girl? Take a guess at the outcome. Turns out there is another Paris Hilton sex tape. I can't believe it. How gullible do you think I am? Next you're going to tell me there's more than one movie where Hugh Grant plays a stammering and falsely modest twit!


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Spot the things wrong with this story: France's Virginie Dedieu performs during the solo exhibition in the Synchronized Swimming World Grand Prix. I suppose everything is very, very wrong with this story, but my main questions are these: if there is only one person doing it, and she is not in the water, then (1) how can it be synchronized? (2) how can it be swimming?


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Saddam declares candidacy for Iraq elections - and is favored in the polls!!! "If Iraq has a democratic election and the plurality of voters want Saddam back, then what will the United States do?"


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Canadian wrestler Bret 'The Hitman' Hart will return to Toronto on a different stage - as he portrays the Genie of the Lamp in 'Aladdin, the Magical Family Musical'". Or maybe his performance just a new and very elaborate type of sleeper hold.


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'Ravaged' is named Florida's official State Adjective


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An offshore bookie has suspended betting on the winner of the second season of NBC's 'The Apprentice,' citing an 'unusual betting pattern on two contestants'


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Useful link for work: Top 11 Reasons Why You Just Saw Porn on my Computer Screen


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Fox News attracts more viewers than all its rivals combined


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Jay Mohr's Secret To Success: Banging Tom Cruise?


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Defamer claims to have intercepted Lindsay Lohan's IM messages. Or not.


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If you grew up in New York in the 60s, your youth was framed by the voices of Cousin Brucie, Murray the K and Scott Muni. A part of your youth disappeared today. 'The Professor' of Rock, Scott Muni, dies at 74.


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This week's movies: Woman, Thou Art Loosed - 33% positive reviews. (Only three reviews.) Despairing drama about child molestation.


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This week's movies: Ladder 49 - 31% positive reviews. "Smothered by the heart-on-sleeve melodramatics of the storytelling, which seems intent on leaving no cliche unused and pounding each of them home."


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This week's movies: Shark Tale 20% positive reviews. Reviewers were cruel: "By this time next year Shark Tale will be on a sale rack at Wal-Mart for $5.99, probably as part of a bargain double-pack with Ice Age."


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Theater Counts for this week's movies: Shark Tale - 3500, Ladder 49 - 3000, Woman, Thou Art Loosed - 325, I Heart Huckabees - 4. Whoa - big rollout for that Huckabees flick! (It's a pre-release. Wide release is October 15)


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VINTAGE NUDE Field Basketball Kentucky GIRLS GONE BAD


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900 free courses online from MIT


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How to tell if you are an obnoxious jerk. One sign: you stubbornly perform the Heimlich maneuver on people who aren't choking.


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The first sign of the Apocalypse


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The trailer for Spin: "'Spin' tells the story of a boy who loses his parents in a plane crash, is taken in by his uncle, who then leaves him for ten years in the care of his Hispanic ranch hand and his wife. Once in high school, Eddie reconnects with a girl from his past, and their growing interracial relationship teaches the sometimes-sullen Eddie to think of others before himself."


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