Friday, October 01, 2004

Miramax Films will co-finance and distribute computer-animated family films starting with 'Opus,' adapted from the popular 'Bloom County' comic strip"


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United States Patent: 4,022,227 - the comb-over. The patent holder - the Smith Brothers. {cough}


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Liza Minnelli's former chauffeur has accused her of repeatedly beating him up in booze-fuelled rampages. It's a sad case, isn't it? With her kooky personality, her tremendous talent, and the legacy of her mom, Liza could have been just about the most beloved cultural icon in the country. What went wrong? Everything went wrong.


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Kate Winslet won't have plastic surgery despite saying her boobs look like 'the ears of a dog'."


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It's difficult to choose, but I'd have to say that this is the President's silliest face during the debate.


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Ichiro breaks Sisler's 84 year old single season hit record with number 258.


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Fucking Russian assholes ban any foul-ass motherfuckin' language. "We want Russian to remain as pure as in the great classics"


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Trey Parker and Matt Stone are very, very proud of their new movie, Team America: World Police. The boys give good interview, as always.


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You'll never guess which country this story comes from.Moose breaks into grocery store. OK, maybe you will guess the country from the fact that local experts think it was a mentally disturbed moose. How many countries have moose psychiatrists? "That one's normal, Lars, and the other one isn't deranged. Just mildly neurotic."


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Norway mentioned as al-Qaida target. The terrorists planned to poison Norway's fish supply with lye - until they found out that was a Norwegian tradition!


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"'The use of troops to defend America must never be subject to a veto from countries like France.'" So I guess it would be OK from countries not at all like France. Examples? Countries like France: Belgium, Luxembourg, Canada. Countries not like France: Uruguay, Zimbabwe, Tuvalu.


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Top 10 coach-player feuds


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The University of Colorado has taken decisive action on their football/sex scandal - they banned the reporter who wrote the story from their VIP alumni list!!


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Gigantic slugger Adam Dunn sets the single-season strikeout record.


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The hit cartoon series The Simpsons is pushing for gay marriage rights in America with a shocking episode featuring Marge's chain-smoking sister Patty wedding another woman.


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Bert and Ernie discuss sex. (Quite clever - dialogue from "Happiness", visuals from Sesame Street)


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A Revolutionary new cell phone lets you talk to the dead -- for just five cents a minute! (Weekly World News)


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The U.S. is virtually alone in outlawing marriage among first cousins.


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Mel Gibson has obtained a restraining order against a man who stalked him to demand that they pray together


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'Combover' Engineers Given Ig Nobel Awards


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Italian actor-director Roberto Benigni is now looking for laughs in wartime Iraq. That's some zany shit, right there! He promises that this film will be even funnier than his version of Pinocchio.


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Want your kids to enjoy both hip-hop and death? Then you need to buy them The Grim Rapper.


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More Fantastic Four casting notes.


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Mount St. Helens Volcano Cam


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Steven Colbert of the Daily Show talks about the debate highlights.


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Samantha Bee looks at undecided voters.


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Two of the Daily Show's correspondants debate about the debates.


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Jon Stewart of the Daily Show looks at the Presidential debates


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Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004. Today's important changes: Michigan and Ohio fall into the undecided camp. Michigan had been "weak Kerry", Ohio had been "barely Kerry." Kerry's count falls to 221. (270 needed to elect)


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American portrait photographer Richard Avedon is dead at 81


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"Dear Uncle Scoopy,


I hate to be argumentative, and would have passed on writing this e-mail if you hadn't emphasized the word "EXACTLY" in the paragraph emphasizing the importance of New Mexico, Iowa, and Maine to Sen. Kerry's Presidential hopes. ("Gore barely won New Mexico and Iowa, and won Maine by a fairly comfortable margin. Those three states possess EXACTLY the 16 votes Kerry needs, so he's not dead yet, by any means.")



In point of fact, these four states are not likely to deliver the needed 16 votes to Kerry, even if he carries all of them, since Maine is a state without a 'winner-take-all' statute. Instead it allocates two of its electoral votes by Congressional district. With the race this tight, it is almost certain that Bush will carry at least the more conservative rural Congressional district, and thus obtain the needed one extra electoral vote to throw the race into the House of Representatives -- where he will certainly be elected by the new House of Representatives.



Assuming Maine allocates its Vice Presidential electoral votes on the same basis (I haven't researched in that level of detail), then the new Senate will pick the new Vice President and that really will be a crap-shoot, particularly given the current Vice President's tendency to tell sitting Senators to 'go fuck themselves'. (Remember the Sen. Leahy gaffe?)."




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What the #$*! Do We Know?, a small film that mixes quantum physics, animation and documentary filmmaking, is spreading across the country like a New Age fad diet.


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Here's an unexpected newsflash - new legal and financial woes for Courtney Love


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It was a tough crowd for Kevin Spacey's debut as director of Old Vic: "'the most tedious drivel ever flushed up on a London stage.'"


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Earth Nears Asteroid Toutatis. Toutatis is in an eccentric 4 year orbit which moves it from the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter to just INSIDE Earth's orbit. One one of its closest passes to earth, Toutatis ran against Bush's dad in the 1988 Presidential election.


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Dalai Lama visits El Salvador for long-driving contest. Big hitter, the lama. I suppose while he is in Latin America, he may try to visit some local llamas - just as a professional courtesy.


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You Are Either With Frank Sinatra Or You Are With The Terrorists!


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The books that Texas schools banned in 2003-2004 include Peter Pan, 1984, and The Color Purple. According to the story, 1984 was banned based on the objections of one parent of one 9th grade pupil. (Sorry, I don't know how accurate this is.)


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Bush, Kerry Debate as Quirky Puppets on Broadway


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Britney is a brunette!


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Queer eye for the Macedonian guy: The opening date of the Oliver Stone epic about Al the Great has been pushed back from Nov. 5 to Nov. 24. The rumor mill says one reason for the delay is that execs at the studio want to cut some of the male-on-male love scenes.


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OJ 'confessed' to best pal


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GALLUP: Kerry Wins Debate


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Zoroastrianism for Kids . "We are pleased that the American Library Association has chosen Zoroastrian Kids Korner as one of the best sites for kids."


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Identify the speaker: "I take the position that sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged." Hugh Hefner? Larry Flynt? Guess again. It's ultra-conservative Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia.


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Page3.com - the best of 1975-2005.


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