Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Rolling Stone issues a special edition to select the 500 greatest songs of all time.
  • Hey, I didn't see Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" on that list, so I guess they mean rock-era songs.
  • They chose "Like a Rolling Stone" as #1. No kidding.
  • Reflecting the demographics of the magazine and their readership, eleven of the top twenty songs are from the 1960s! So I guess they don't really mean rock-era songs at all. They really mean THEIR-era songs. (Which, to be honest, is mine as well.)


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The former editor-in-chief of Britannica offers his insights on Wikipedia. My own thoughts: (a) Sometimes a Wikipedia article will offer twenty times the depth you might find in a print Encyclopedia, because some scholar has written volumes on a subject. (b) And sometimes Wikipedia has nothing at all worth reading (c) The accuracy is as inconsistent as the depth. You can not rely on the accuracy or the objectivity of what you are reading, so you should not use it as a sole reliable source, but only to supplement your other research. (d) Articles often get edited downward, so that today's citation is actually worse than yesterday's. (e) True scholarship is sometimes overridden by the inevitable mediocrity and conventional wisdom generated by consensus. The general rule of genius is that a genius sees what others cannot. If a genius enters tomorrow's insights, some pedantic clod(s) in a Wiki will inevitably re-edit it back until it is once again yesterday's conventional thinking.


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FCC asserts the right to control home computers. "FCC's position is that its Act gives it regulatory power over all instrumentalities, facilities, and apparatus "associated with the overall circuit of messages sent and received" via all interstate radio and wire communication."


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Maxim UK seems racier than the US version. Their 2005 Calendar includes nudity.


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Michael Moore turns his camera on the ultimate subject for exposes - Michael Moore. "Am I an asshole? I'll let you decide - unless you decide wrong."


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Another great Sawdust Tale from Silver Dollar Sam. The Hunt for the Silver Queen


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Vladdy wins American League MVP. Guerrero had a season very similar to those of Tejada, Sheffield, and the Two Big BoSox, but he won himself the award by carrying the team single-handedly to the post-season during crunch time. He went 14-for-30 (.467) with six homers and 11 RBIs in the last six games of the season, helping the Angels finish one game ahead of Oakland.
  • Tejada probably would have won if he had still been with Oakland. Tejada plays every game every year, plays shortstop, and knocked in 150 runs, but did it for the also-ran Orioles. I guess that balances out with the other year when Tejada won the MVP although A-Rod had a better year for a crappy team.
  • Hard to quibble about Guerrero's selection. Vladdy has hit in the .330s the past three years. In the two years he stayed healthy, he led the American League in total bases once, and led the National League in total bases the other time.
  • In the all important measurement of hitting performance on the road, Guerrero was second in batting average only to the incomparable Ichiro. (And Guerrero does it with balls hit out of the infield.)
  • Guerrero is arguably the toughest hitter in baseball against left handed pitchers. He slugged .723 against portsiders, compared to a mere .586 for the fearsome Barry Bonds, who reverts to Clark Kent status against lefties. (Bonds slugs close to 1.000 against right handers.).
  • NOTE: National Leaguer Albert Pujols did slug higher than Guerrero against lefties last year.(.741)



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New York Yankees star Gary Sheffield and his wife were the targets of a blackmailer who claimed to have embarrassing sexual videotapes of her and a musician, the slugger said Tuesday


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Democrats Elect Reid as Senate Minority Leader, and she immediately exposes her left breast. Oh, THAT Reid. Heck, his boobs ain't even that good. Maybe he should call Tara's surgeon. In a related story, there are Democrats left in the Senate.


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Keanu Reeves plans to begin production on a Spike Lee crime thriller shortly. Written by James Ellroy, The Night Watchman is the story of a disgraced cop who sets out on a mission to redeem himself. Keanu Reeves in this project? Sure, that makes sense. Spike Lee? Now that's kind of a surprise.


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WIZMARK - the interactive urinal communicator.


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The R-rated trailer for Nowhere Man, which sounds like one crazy movie. (A leading indicator: one of the actors in the trailer is the head of Troma Films). "Just how bad can things get? Conrad has found a pornographic video featuring his fiance. Shocked, he calls the wedding off. But now, after an emotionally brutal week, an abused Jennifer has cut off Conrad's penis - and taken it with her for ransom! A doctor has advised Conrad that if found immediately, there is some hope for re-attachment. But where is Jennifer hiding? Vengeful and furious, Conrad blunders gun first into the underworld of her 'blue-film' past, to find her - and his missing member!"


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Eight clips from National Treasure, the Nic Cage adventure which is sort of an "Indiana Jones meets the Da Vinci code" kind of thing.


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The trailer for Spanglish: "From acclaimed multiple Oscar-winning writer/director/producer James L. Brooks comes the comedy/drama 'Spanglish' - a look at cultures colliding as a beautiful native Mexican woman Flor, the mother of an equally stunning twelve-year old girl, a golden child, becomes the housekeeper for an affluent Los Angeles family. Of all the horrifying pitfalls she worried about in this new culture, Flor had never fathomed the peril of being truly embraced by an upscale American family."


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Here are seven new clips from Oliver Stone's film about Alexander the Great. It breaks my heart that nobody is planning to make a film about his bother, Seymour the Average.


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In a surprise move, Bush Bypasses Condi, Nominates Sesame Street's Bert as Secretary of State. "The secretary of state is America's face to the world, and in Bert's pointy yellow head and orange nose, the world will see the strength, grace and decency of our country," Bush said. "At the same time, his heavy black unibrow will broadcast America's determination and force of character."


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Polanski Asks UK Lords to Let Him to Sue from Afar "Lawyers for film director Roman Polanski will ask England's highest court this week to allow him to sue for libel while avoiding the risk of being extradited to the United States for child sex offences."


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Tips from Tom Green: If you can't flog a dead horse, flog a live one.
  • "Next is penis preparation. Important aspects of washing include a confident, reassuring approach and gentle handling of the delicate tissues," McDonnell explains. "If the horse is shy or resentful of penis manipulation, we are happy to delay the procedure until subsequent sessions. Step six is accomplished by finishing last-minute preparations, and if needed, re-stimulating the stallion through close-contact teasing. Once the stallion is fully erect and ready to mount, he is encouraged to pause momentarily and then mount when signaled by the handler," says McDonnell.
  • The McDonnell quoted above had to earn a Ph.D to qualify for horse hand-jobs. I wonder if Tom Green broke any laws by doing it without earning his Doctoral Degree.



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Nobody seems to know why pictures of Kim Jong Il are being removed from public places in North Korea. Rumor is they will be replaced by advertising posters for Team America: World Police.


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Female NYC marathoner removes her shirt - nothing beneath!


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A nice archive of the "'This is SportsCenter" commercials.


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New California DMV Head Wants Tracking Devices In Cars: "Borucki supports the idea of taxing motorists for every mile they drive by placing tracking devices in their cars. The plan would replace an existing state gas tax."
  • It's a conservationist's nightmare. As opposed to simply raising fuel taxes, this plan will penalize people for owning fuel-efficient cars. The current system of fuel taxation makes people pay by the gallon, as opposed to by the mile. With the proposed system, the owner of a 40 MPG car will pay the same tax per mile as the Hummer owner. (Plus the Hummer owner will immediately benefit from cheaper gas when the state fuel tax is removed.)


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USA proposes new "mattress tag" copyright law.: "The bill would also permit people to use technology to skip objectionable content in a DVD -- like a gory or sexually explicit scene. However, under the proposed language, viewers would not be allowed to use software or devices to skip commericals or promotional announcements 'that would otherwise be performed or displayed before, during or after the performance of the motion picture,' "
  • Did you fast-forward through that commercial? Hands behind your head.


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New Mexico named America's dumbest state. Mississippi files formal protest.


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US-Canada relations have never been better, as evidenced by this article in the Toronto Star: Should Canada indict Bush?


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Techies catch Microsoft using a pirated sound file.


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Anna Nicole's speech on the award show seems like the orations of Cicero compared to this interview with her.


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Seventh seal opened! Bill O'Reilly endorses Bill Clinton to replace Colin Powell as Secretary of State!


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Playboy.com launches "Women of McDonald's" feature.: " Playboy.com debuted the 'Women of McDonald's' feature Tuesday in which six employees from the fast-food king were chosen to pose nude for the online pictorial. "


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ABC apologized Tuesday for a steamy intro to 'Monday Night Football' after receiving complaints from viewers and the NFL.
The spot featured a naked Nicollette Sheridan jumping into the arms of Terrell Owens.


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Jon Stewart talks to Kenneth Pollack, author of 'The Persian Puzzle,' about Iran.


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The Daily Show: Evangelicals organize a pray-in to 'derail' Senator Specter.


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"The man could not believe his ears when his dog's stomach started ringing."


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Ever wonder what a porn star's house looks like? Wonder no more. Take a tour with the queen of porn, Jenna Jameson.


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A new women's record high jump was set on a nude beach in Southern France. Here is a picture taken seconds before the record breaking jump.


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The Daily Show looks at the line for the exit at the White House


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Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal are reportedly back together. Damn! I hope Rick Salomon got some good pictures before Dunst sacked him.


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More info about The Godfather Returns. That link is a good article about the author and this one is to Amazon.com, which has several reviews and is selling it for about $18.


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Playing Dead. A strange Quicktime movie from a comic troupe. (Loads much faster if you do it with a right click.)


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Weekly World News says, "It's official. Eatin' Fish Make Your Stoopid" And I think they would know.


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The trailer for BLACKBALLED: The Bobby Dukes Story. A mockumentary about the drama and action within the world of Paintball. It features some of the guys from The Daily Show, particularly Rob Corddry.


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Jessica Simpson's night watching Puppetry of the Penis. Y'know, I had all but forgotten about penis puppetry since Japanese octopus porn came along. I guess I'm fickle. Sometimes it can be healthy to re-visit the past. Maybe not this time. Now I'm just filled with regret because I'm too old to live out my dream of being a penis puppeteer. {sigh} Say, I wonder if there is a Senior Tour.


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Nearly three years after vacating its Manhattan home, $425 million later, MOMA re-opens Saturday


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What would the holiday be without some Light-Up Clothes and Costumes


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The teaser trailer and some stills from Diary of a Mad Black Woman: "Filled with a mix of comedy and drama, the film is based on the immensely popular play of the same name written by Tyler Perry. The story focuses on Helen McCarter (Kimberly Elise), who has seemingly had the perfect life with husband Charles McCarter (Steve Harris). Over the years, Helen has been a faithful and loving wife, while Charles built a successful and lucrative career as a prominent Atlanta attorney. They wear the latest fashions, drive the nicest cars, have all the possessions they need, and they live on an expansive estate complete with an extravagant mansion, swimming pool, tennis court and all the trappings of wealth. However, on the eve of their 18th wedding anniversary, Helen's paradise begins to crumble as Charles announces that he wants a divorce.


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The trailer for The Sea Inside, based on a profoundly moving true story that captured the world’s attention, THE SEA INSIDE is about Spaniard Ramón Sampedro (Javier Bardem), who fought a 30-year campaign to win the right to end his life with dignity.


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How to Kill a Mockingbird, an animated book report.


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The trailer for Fear and Trembling: "a dreamy and romantic young Belgian woman arrives in Japan to begin work as a translator for the giant Yumimoto Corporation. Unfamiliar with the customs of the Japanese workplace, she commits a series of cultural missteps and is singled out as a deviant within the company hierarchy, suffering a string of demotions. The harder she tries, the more wrathful her superiors seem to become, the more unreasonable and humiliating their demands. Unable to stop her downfall, she suddenly stumbles upon her own extraordinary means of liberation."


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Cooking With Cum: Semen-based dishes everyone can enjoy!


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The company which makes Lionel Trains - a cherished piece of Americana - files for bankruptcy protection.


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Anna Nicole's "lawyer and constant companion", Howard K. Stern, says she was OK. In other news, she has a "lawyer and constant companion" named Howard Stern.


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Extraordinary Raw Video Footage From The US Military Offensive in Fallujah


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Science can be fun. Do your own calibrations. Tara Reid topless in 1999, before. Tara Reid topless in 2004, after.


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Been waiting to see Juliet topless without Romeo? Claire Danes opens her blouse for "Stage Beauty". She did have a brief, dark downblouse in Polish Wedding, but here she really whips one out.


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