Friday, December 10, 2004

Chloe Sevigny gives Vince Gallo a BJ in The Brown Bunny - partially censored for an Asian DVD release.


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What would Christmas be without Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer - in Latin? "Rudolphus rubrinasus fulgentissimo naso ... ". This all reminded me of that great Ben Affleck movie, Interessa Ludentes.


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The dozen biggest boneheads of 2004.


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Britain's Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents warns that photocopying your ass could lead to shattered glass. Ouch, I guess that would be a real party pooper. You must admire the one Royal Society which gets straight to the bottom of things, and never gives the people a bum steer.


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Christian school teaches that Southern slaves lived "a life of plenty, of simple pleasures." I never dreamed slavery was so underrated! Where do I sign up?


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Supreme Court to Hear MGM v. Grokster


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Ginger Rogers is no longer THE gay divorcee. Now she's just one of many. Less than seven months after same-sex couples began tying the knot in Massachusetts, the state is seeing its first "gay divorces". Everyone sing "The Continental" with me.


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Cereal nostalgia. I don't remember a General Mills cereal called Mr Wonderfull's Surprize, "the only cereal with a creamy chocolate flavor filling"


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Jacko's fingerprints and those of his alleged molestation victim have been found on a pornographic magazine.


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TRIVIA: What was the first dot.com ever registered? Here is a list of the first 100 in chronological order.


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Sexual Harassment - what employees need to know.


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"Ten years ago the Guardian tried to predict what newspapers and the news would be like on December 1 2004. Uncannily we got a lot of it right." What makes it even more uncanny is that The Guardian ("The World's Most Gullible Newspaper") reported 2004's news in 1994 more accurately than they report it in 2004!


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York, Pennsylvania: Capital of the United States. Back in the days when the capital was determined by which town had the best peppermint patties.


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Oklahoma inmate charged with assault with a deadly pork chop.


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"I feel bad" - The Godfather of Soul, James Brown, will have cancer surgery.


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Playmate Gallery - Summer Altice, August 2000 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Four free sample vids from Playboy's Beach Babes!


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Yet another perfect Christmas Gift:
The Christmas Tree Hat
. But don't wear it in the dark, at least not near Salem, Massachusetts.


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Conclusive proof that Santa is Satan. No, really, totally conclusive. When you finish you will know for sure that Santa is Satan. Or maybe Tommy Lee. One of those evil dudes.


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To hell with Martha Stewart and her gracious, tasteful holiday crap. Join me on the dark side, Luke, with some Weird and Tasteless Christmas Decorations


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Christmas gifts for the paranoid. OK, you have your tinfoil hat, so the aliens can't get control of your mind. But what's to stop those same aliens from getting control of your pet's mind and turning him against you? You never thought of that, did you? The solution? Anti-mind-control tinfoil hats for pets.


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First look at Jay Hernandez as Puerto Rican gangster Charlie "Carlito" Brigante in Carlito's Way: The Beginning. The film is a prequel to the 1993 Brian De Palma feature that starred Al Pacino as Carlito. The story follows Carlito through Spanish Harlem's no exit world of gangs, drugs, pimping, and the Mob, from the 1940s to the early 1970s.


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The poster for Martin Lawrence's upcoming flick, REBOUND. Formerly known as "Rage Control", A legendary college basketball coach (Martin Lawrence) is forced to coach a losing junior-high team after he has a Bobby Knight-style public meltdown. The film is due out April 15, 2005.


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At last, the trailer for Batman Begins -'nuff said


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The UK equivalent of the FCC is not very strict at all, as you can see in this Skittles commercial.


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The Weekend Warrior says Ocean's 12 and Blade Trinity are going to kick some ass this weekend. Probably quite right. The #1 last week is a film in its fourth week that nobody was all that enthusiastic about to begin with, so it is ripe to be plucked. Ocean's 11 did $183 million, so the sequel benefits from a lot of pent-up anticipation.


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Good research from some blogger: Lindsay Lohan's EW picture next to Bardot's original pose.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I prefer the Lohan picture; Bardot looks like a crack whore....
Simey

 

The Magic Box - EA's Next Generation Titles Preview


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Bennington students fight for right to bare all. Nudity on their non-traditional campus is something of a tradition, but their new Dean Wormer of Students says that their bare asses are grass and he's the lawnmower.


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Coming Soon previews The Legend of Earthsea


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GALLUP: Sports Fans Speak Out About Recent Controversies - baseball steroids, basketball fights and college football championships.


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Guy Jumps off Roof Onto Trampoline


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War of the Worlds :: A Steven Spielberg Film - Teaser Trailer


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Another helpful Christmas gift idea. The Amazing Catapult Watch! "It's time to get medieval on your friends"


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Here's the trailer for Emile: "Starring two-time academy award nominated Sir Ian McKellen, 'Emile' is the poignant exploration of an older man's struggle to reconnect with his past. From the director of 'Johnny' (1999) and 'Lola' (2001) comes the third chapter of films dealing with a character's search for identity at a critical point in life. When Emile (McKellen) is given the opportunity to travel from England to Victoria on Canada's west coat to receive an honorary degree at the university, he goes knowing that it might be his last chance to reconnect with his only living relatives. His niece Nadia (Kara Unger) and her daughter Maria (Crane) hold the key to Emile's tragic past and the guilt which has haunted him his entire life."


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Oscar races heating up -- many strong candidates -- but no front-runner


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For those of you looking for a new fetish, let me bring to your attention New Bondage Fairies Graphic Novels, a new kind of anime for those who fantasize about tying up Tinkerbell with tiny little knots.


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Ding, Ding. Ding. Ding. You heard the bell. You know what that means, doncha kids? It's time for the Japanese Corner, our regular look at bizarre commercials, school girl fetishes, and (most important by far) octopus porn. We start it off with the Japanese schoolgirl watch - didja know their favorite socks are Arnold Palmer's.


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If you're into the more classical interpretation of octopus porn, you might check out the work of Hokusai, the Rembrandt of Japanese Octopus Porn


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Perhaps you like to order a print from the great painter Masami Teraoka, the Picasso of Japanese Octopus Porn


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Also a major update on Vintage Japanese Octopus Porn, Tentacles of Desire, The man who loved cephalopods


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Here's an entire site dedicated to hardcore Japanese octopus porn


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The stars of Lord Of The Rings have given director Peter Jackson a promise they'll return for The Hobbit if he is prepared to make it.


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The Virgin Mary Grilled Cheese Sandwich meets Dennis Rodman and finds its home.


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What would SuperMan look like if your eyes could follow his super speed.


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Golf Punk magazine - The golf mag for the rest of us. Powered by Golf Pervert Today's feature: the bunker babes.


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One more of Jessica as the new Daisy Duke


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Now here's why we have the internet: One girl, one butt, a gazillion pictures. (Better not try it without broadband)


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Weekly World News: HOW TO PICK UP CHICKS AT THE GYM Without Breaking A Sweat


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Maxim Germany has a nice pictorial of the Terminator 3 babe, Kristanna Loken


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Four short sample movies from Playboy Big Breast Babes!


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Playmate Gallery - Jennifer Rovero - July 1999 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!


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Pro Football on downers!


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It's now legal to bring an insane person into Washington County Utah, dance immodestly or let more than 25 mules cross a Virgin River bridge. As Marv Albert would say, "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!". I feel like Martin Luther King must have felt when he said "Free at last". As I type this, I am hauling a shitpile of dirty dancing nutters in my luxurious 26-mule-drawn wagon, rapidly galloping toward the Virgin River. "On Jezebel. On Daisy. On Francis. Gi - Yaaaa!"


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