Saturday, December 11, 2004

Depressing films about euthanasia, abortion and the hardships of immigrant life bagged the top prizes at the 17th European Film Awards, just as they have at the first sixteen, and every other European film award show in history. The Europeans matched the L.A. film critics in one key category: Briton Imelda Staunton took the best actress statuette for her turn as a working-class mother who performs illegal abortions in the harrowing drama "Vera Drake."


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L.A. Film Critics Pick 'Sideways' as Year's Top Movie, Clint Eastwood's Million Dollar Baby finishes second. Britain's Imelda Staunton was named best actress for her portrayal as an abortionist in "Vera Drake," and Irish actor Liam Neeson was handed the best actor honor for playing U.S. sex researcher Dr. Alfred Kinsey in "Kinsey."


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Here, at last, is an uncensored version of Chloe Sevigny obviously kneeling uinder the ol' mistletoe in The Brown Bunny


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Maim That Tune - Detune your head: "Are you plagued by Stuck Tune Syndrome? Do you have a tune stuck in your head you just can't get out? Take heart friend, for your suffering is over. The Maimograph Machine, through complex analysis and calculation, will find an even catchier tune to counter-act the one you already have."


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Rich New Yorkers give birds the bird, inspiring bird-lovers to give the bird to bird-evicters.


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Danny Ocean kicks vampire ass. The new Soderbergh film opened with a $14 million Friday, and took in not only more than Blade:Trinity, but more than the next five films added together!!


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The red-state warriors and blue-state battlers are at it again. This time, the goal isn't the White House. It's the Oscar. In one color-coded corner: Conservative Bible-thumpers pushing for nominations for The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre. In the other color-coded corner: Proud liberal Michael Moore pushing for nominations for his own religious act of faith focused on an earlier part of the bible - the Burning Bush. (Is Fahrenheit 911 the temperature at which a Bush burns?)


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The trailer for Ong Bak, the new Thai chopsocky film with the hopeful new prince of the martial arts, Tony Jaa. It's made with no wire work or CGI.


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Casting a porno film? Need to choose your cast by looking through some nekkid pictures of models?


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Future leading man roles for Tom Arnold? New operation can boost the size of a micro-penis.


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The trailer for Nobody Knows : "Hirokazu Kore-eda, the director of 'Maborosi' and 'After-life,' presents this exceptional story of a makeshift family of children left to survive in an urban Tokyo jungle. "


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The trailer for Beautiful Boxer. I know it sounds like I made this up, but this is the real summary: "Based on the true story of Thailand's famed transgender kickboxer, 'Beautiful Boxer' is a poignant action drama that punches straight into the heart and mind of a boy who fights like a man so he can become a woman."


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RUMSFELD DEMANDS FULL BODY ARMOR FOR NEXT MEETING WITH TROOPS. Felt Unprotected, Defense Secretary Says


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Jean Claude van Damme has described himself as a 'superhero in bed'. "I would always go for a muscular woman rather than for a skinny one but on one condition - her brains have to be as developed as her muscles."


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Sexy Video of Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke


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Eiffel Tower Opens Elevated Skating Rink It is 18 stories above the ground.


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Geek of the day award. Man builds full-scale grandfather clock from LEGOs.


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Hustler Magazine warms to the U.K. with a 2005 Calendar.


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Dioxin poisoning caused the mysterious illness that scarred the face of one of those two Ukranianian Weird Vic Yankovic guys. I think it's the one that the West likes.


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Fishermen catch 1000 pound Mako shark. You are not gonna believe the size of this sucker.


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Fisherman catch 1000 pound shark in Nova Scotia. You are not gonna believe the size of this thing. It's actually a Mako, not a Great White.


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Here's one we missed in Japanese corner - an obscene MTV-style video. Pretty good, but not one friggin' octopus. I guess these are non-coastal Japanese people.


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The ultimate Christmas gift for that really strange kid on your list: The Christopher Walken - King of New York- 12 inch action figure


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Kate Beckinsale checks into hotels under the name 'Sigourney Beaver'.


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Nicole Kidman has dropped out of Mel Brooks' new film version of THE PRODUCERS


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A stone carving that was used as a cat's headstone has sold for 200,000 pounds at auction. Hey, it was a really cute cat. Actually, the stone turned out to be a Saxon-era stone cutting.


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Jon Stewart talks about the military terms of duty being extended unexpectedly.


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Jon Stewart talks, or maybe I should say "rants" about Donald Rumsfeld.


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The trailer and a new featurette from White Noise: "Michael Keaton plays a successful architect, Jonathan Rivers, whose peaceful existence is shattered by the unexplained disappearance and death of his wife, Anna (Chandra West). Jonathan is eventually contacted by a man, who claims to be receiving messages from Anna through EVP, the process through which the dead communicate with the living through household recording devices. These extraordinary recordings, captured by people all over the world, seem to confirm what many of us have dared to believe: it is possible for the dead to communicate with us. At first skeptical, Jonathan then becomes convinced of the messages' validity, and is soon obsessed with trying to contact her on his own. His further explorations into EVP and the accompanying supernatural messages unwittingly open a door to another world, allowing something uninvited into his life. "


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The fleshy filmmaker Michael Moore is back on the campaign trail trolling for votes - this time, for the People's Choice Awards.


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