Thursday, December 16, 2004

Something to straighten out Bert's paper clips: Hardcore Muppets


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Greet the New Year by shooting a bottle rocket from your butt cheeks!


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Looking for a holiday gift for those Moslem kids who always feel left out this time of year? Get him the Allah action figure.


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California Registered Sex Offender list goes live on the internet


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A slim, handsome, boring Will Ferrell pauses to reflect back on the days when he was fat and funny.


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The 2005 preview from Sony/Columbia.


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An arrest warrant was issued in Dallas Wednesday for Motley Crue singer Vince Neil.


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The winners of the 2004 Bad Science awards.


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The Straight Dope: What did Prince Andrew's superior officers call him?


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Here's the trailer for John Boorman's In My Country : " Langston Whitfield (Samuel L. Jackson) is a Washington Post journalist. His editor provocatively sends him to South Africa to cover the Truth and Reconciliation Commission hearings, in which the perpetrators of murder and torture on both sides during the Apartheid era are invited to come forward and confront their victims. By telling the unvarnished truth and expressing contrition, they may be granted amnesty. Can the deep wounds of Apartheid be healed through reconciliation? Langston is deeply sceptical. He tracks down Col. De Jager, the most notorious torturer in the SA Police and tries to penetrate the mind of a monster, an experience that obliges him to confront his own demons. Anna Malan (Juliette Binoche), is an Afrikaans poet who is covering the hearings for radio. As a white South African she is shattered by the accounts of the cruelty and depravity committed by her fellow countrymen. Anna and Langston must both question their sense of identity. Where do they each belong? How responsible are they for what is done in the name of their respective countries? The moving testimony of the victims affects them deeply. In different ways they are both estranged from their families, and their shared experience draws them ever closer to each other. It is a story charting the unfathomable depths of human cruelty and the redeeming power of forgiveness and love."


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Fire Marshall Bill runs like a pussy from real fire.


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Here's something that may get some use - Yahoo! Video Search


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Abe Lincoln?- Gay as a blade.


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Pedro bids farewell to Boston, knocks "computer geeks" in front office.


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Whatever happened to ... ? Tony Orlando He still looks the same.


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Big Unit-to-Yankees blockbuster very close. It isn't completed, but is "very near." It would be a three-way: Randy to the Yankees, Vazquez to the Dodgers, Shawn Green and others to the D-backs.


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Lisa Marie Presley is keeping Graceland but selling the bulk of the Elvis estate, including rights to her father's name and image, in a deal worth approximately $100 million.


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The Daily Show discusses inaccurate "abstinence" programs in sex education.


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Christmas? Be afraid. Be very fuckin' afraid. The Daily Show reports: Silent Night, Holy Crap. The security guy they interview is awesome!


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Some stills from the new horror movie, Darkness. : It stars Anna Paquin, and Lena Olin.


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OK, something cute for the holidays. You could actually show this one to your kids. Mother Polar Bear has two cubs in a Vienna Zoo


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Dare The King ... Dare Completed: 'I dare you to try to staple your ballsack to your leg." Add your own dare in his forums.


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Photographs of Signs Enforcing Racial Discrimination in the 30s and 40s


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Carolina Panthers' punter arrested for dwi, speeding, driving without a license.


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I think these are the first hi-res pictures from Revenge of the Sith


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Carolina Panthers' punter arrested for dwi, speeding, driving without a license.


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Carolina Panthers' Punter arrested for speeding, dwi, and driving without a license.


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Here's a 120 minute clip from Lemony Snicket (OK, it's really only 10), but these clips seem to be ever lengthening.


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An important new holiday tradition - The Heineken Holiday Hoax


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Ashlee Simpson's lesbian scenes have been cut.


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Playboy officially confirms that Teri Polo (Meet the Fokkers) will do the February celebrity pictorial


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Still need that ideal X-mas gift? The Wayne's World AMC Pacer is for sale, along with two dozen other museum cars.


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Women, beware: Those 'eye in the sky' surveillance cameras used by casinos don't just look for card cheats and crooked dealers.


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Will the Chinese censor pass Pam Anderson's PETA poster?. So far we have been unable to find anyone who cares about this either way.


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The rumor on the net is that the next celebrity sex tape will feature Paige Davis. (Link goes to unrelated pics of Paige). As Warhol once said, "In the future, everyone will have a sex tape for 15 minutes. Except me. Because I will be dead. Unless maybe mine is a necrophilia tape."


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Jennifer Garner has sparked speculation she's pregnant with Ben Affleck's baby, after being spotted with a plumper-than-usual stomach. I thought there was an international treaty preventing Affleck from reproducing. The Pope said, "Ok, we oppose abortion as a rule - but this is the exception that proves the rule." (Hey, I'm just kidding. They seem like a nice couple, and well suited for one another.)


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Weekly World News offers: "4 WAYS TO EAT FREE IN THE FANCIEST RESTAURANTS"


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Letterman's Top Ten Ways To Improve The Department Of Homeland Security


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Letterman's Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is On Steroids


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Four sneak previews from Flight of the Phoenix.


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Legally Banned from the Web - does this have teeth?


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Some more videos of the notorious Star Wars Holiday Special


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The King of All Media is Serious about Sirius.


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NYC cops are on the hunt for a fanatic who's terrorizing TV hunk Taye Diggs and his wife, Broadway star Idina Menzel


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Soon Madden will be the only pro football game - then the only game period. You ... will ... play ... Madden.: "Five-year contract gives EA sole rights to the NFL, including teams, players, and stadiums."


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'Wife Swap' Producers Sue Fox Over Show. The British producers of the ABC television show "Wife Swap" have filed suit over the Fox show "Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy," lambasting it as an illegal rip-off.


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