Friday, January 14, 2005

Harvard University has appointed a Dean of Fun.


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Conan O'Brien plays baseball, 1864 style


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Remove the pre-typed URL history from MSIE.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I used to send "secret" links to myself as a link in an email. I just had to click on the link and it wouldn't leave a trace...easier than that erase method.

 

The trailer and eight clips from the animated Racing Stripes .
  • Tell me this doesn't sound awesome: "Stripes makes some friends down at the track as well, most notably the horsefly Scuzz (David Spade), whose love of song and dance is eclipsed only by his love of horse poop."
  • A movie based on the relationship between David Spade and horse poop? I'm there, dude. I wonder if David Spade and horse poop are genetically similar enough to produce fertile offspring.


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The trailer for The Jacket: "A psychological thriller about a military veteran who returns to his native Vermont suffering from bouts of amnesia. When he is accused of murder and lands in an asylum, a well-meaning doctor puts him on a heavy course of experimental drugs, restrains him in a jacket-like device, and locks him away in a body drawer of the basement morgue. The process sends him on a journey into the future, where he can foresee his death (but not who did it or how) in four day's time. Now the only question that matters is: can the woman he meets in the future save him?"


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Several trailers for Kung Fu Hustle, an action/comedy
  • "A hapless wanna be gangster, Sing, must overcome his inability to wield a knife and demonstrate his mettle in order to become a member of the notorious Axe Gang. The Axe Gang, meanwhile, want to reign supreme by occupying the most coveted territory, which is a sacred street protected by an unlikely cast of characters, many of whom are highly skilled kung fu masters disguised as ordinary people. After several encounters with thugs and a fearsome adversary known as the Beast, Sing overcomes his inadequacy and realizes he is the greatest kung fu master of them all, destined to protect the sacred street."


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Weekly World News: PRESIDENTIAL SPEECHES
...You Were Never Supposed To Hear
. They're like alternate scenes on the DVD.
  • Before First Lady Hillary Clinton "pitched a hissy," says the expert, President Clinton was set to drop this bombshell: "I did not have conventional sex with that woman, just phone and some oral and we did that thing with the cigar and I had my eye on that night stick I got from the Fraternal Order of Police, but I'm telling you, my fellow Americans, that was it."
  • President Bush was set to make this statement after 9/11: "Make no mistake: The United States will hunt down and punish those responsible for these cowardly acts, those vile and smelly monsters, the French."
  • The best one has to be Richard Nixon's drunken decision to try honesty. Unfortunately, he sobered up before saying, "People want to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, what do they THINK their President is -- a Sunday school teacher? Of course their President is a crook! Would I steal money from a little old lady? Of course I would. Would I lie to the American people? Yes! How do people think I got rich and powerful? I ripped off everything I've got, and if I hadn't got caught, I'd rip off some more. And that includes stealing from my own mother."



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The Daily Show gloats over the lack of WMDs in Iraq


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Janet Jackson reportedly wears a penis around her neck. Oh, wait - that's just Colin Farrell.


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Career Day speaker advises students on careers in exotic dancing. These things hjaev improved a lot since my day. The advisor claimed that exotic dancing is a lucrative career move -- offering as much as $250,000 annually. He also said the exact amount of financial opportunity is directly proportional to the dancer's bust size.


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The Weekend Warrior predicts #1 for Elektra. Despite the worst reviews for a major release since ... probably since Benigni's Pinocchio ... Elektra is predicted to take the top spot at the box, while In Good Company is expected to ride its 86% positive reviews into sixth place. (Elektra received not only the worst RT score for a sequel to an Affleck movie, it's even worse than worst the scores for real Affleck movies! Elektra has received 5% positive reviews, and even Gigli got 7%! The most cogent review: "Elektra has accomplished the seemingly impossible - it's worse than Daredevil.")


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Naomi has the latest wardrobe malfunction


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Britain's Prince Charles has ordered his son Harry to visit Auschwitz after the lad caused outrage around the world by wearing a Nazi uniform to a party.


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Armed pilot arrested in cockpit after screener smells alcohol.


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Seeping California dam causes 800 evacuated homes


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Jean Reno has joined Tom Hanks in director Ron Howard's adaptation of The Da Vinci Code.


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Want Paris Hilton at your function? Pony up about a third of a million dollars.
  • Churchill allegedly asked a woman whether she would sleep with him for a million pounds. She agreed that she probably would. According to the story, Churchill then asked he if she would sleep with him for one pound.
    • “Of course not, what kind of woman do you think I am?”
    • “Madam, we’ve already established what kind of woman you are,” said Churchill, “now we’re just negotiating the price.”


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Prince Harry's favorite web site? "my little nazi dolls"


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"The Oscar race for best picture is shaping up as a six-film contest: The Aviator, Sideways, Million Dollar Baby, Ray, Finding Neverland and Hotel Rwanda.


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The trailer for the movie version of The Honeymooners. (The Kramdens and Nortons are black!)


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BUSH ACCUSES SADDAM OF TELLING TRUTH. Evildoer Knowingly Came Clean on WMDs


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