Thursday, February 03, 2005

Super Bowl Urban Legends


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Whitehouse.org's silly version of The 2005 State of the Union Address: Complete Transcript of President Bush's Speech to Congress and the Nation


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The trailer and the Superbowl spot for Sahara
  • "Master explorer Dirk Pitt (Matthew McConaughey) takes on the adventure of his life when he embarks on a treasure hunt through some of the most dangerous regions of West Africa. Searching for what locals call 'The Ship of Death', a long lost Civil War battleship which protects a secret cargo, Pitt and his wisecracking sidekick (Steve Zahn) use their wits and clever heroics to help Doctor Eva Rojas (Penelope Cruz) when they realize the ship may be linked to mysterious deaths in the very same area."


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The superbowl TV spot for The Longest Yard.


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The trailer for The Pacifier, Vin Diesel's attempt to enter the world of family comedies.


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Ned Flanders, superstar.


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Texas Humorist Kinky Friedman to Run for Governor: "Texas humorist Kinky Friedman, who wrote the song 'They Ain't Makin' Jews Like Jesus Any More,' announced on Thursday his independent candidacy for the state's governorship. Friedman laid out his plan to begin the "de-wussification of Texas." I'll tell you right now, Kinky has my vote for sure.


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What would the universe be like if everything were on AOL? OMG!, ROFL, LS/MFT.


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Andy Dick will be the new James Bond! No, just kidding again. The real story on this link is that Martin Campbell (Goldeneye) will direct his second Bond film, and Casino Royale is definitely the film.


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R&B Singer Houston Gouges Eye Out After Apparent Suicide Attempt


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Set your VCRs to record "George Lopez" on Feb 22nd, because Charo and William Hung will be together at last!!!! Also, plenty of other news about the usual stunts, gimmicks, and specials which will be unveiled for the February sweeps.


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The Smoking Gun: Backstage with Cher: "Cher needs her own "wig room". Hey, that isn't so weird. Bill Shatner needs the same thing. My favorite part of it is this note: "If large enough, the wardrobe and wigs can share the same room" - but they EACH need an 8' table and three chairs!


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Animal-Human Hybrids Spark Controversy: "Scientists have begun blurring the line between human and animal by producing chimeras—a hybrid creature that's part human, part animal", kind of like Clint Howard.


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The Daily Show: The good news about the soldier kidnapped by Al Mujahedeen? He's recommended for ages 8-11.


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Harrison, Clapton and their muse: "Pattie Boyd's life and images put classic rock era in focus"


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Weekly World News presents their popular "tips for the stupid": HOW TO SWEET-TALK A LADY COP OUT OF GIVING YOU A TICKET!


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An international trailer for Mr. and Mrs. Smith. "A sexy, action-packed thrill ride about a bored married couple (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) who discover that they are enemy assassins. John and Jane Smith are an ordinary suburban couple with an ordinary, lifeless suburban marriage. But each of them has a secret -- they are actually both legendary assassins working for competing organizations. When the truth comes out, John and Jane end up in each other's cross-hairs."


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Britney Spears is to appear in a TV spot promoting the anti-acne cream Proactiv Solution


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Bad Judd-gement. ESPN's Rick Majerus, on a Kentucky-Tennessee college basketball game last week, might have made the strangest comment about a fan that's ever been uttered on TV sports. Majerus said he hoped to get a glimpse of Ashley Judd, an actress and Kentucky fan, so he wouldn't "have to watch adult videos back at the hotel."


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Great clip - Harry Shearer and Dan Castellaneta do their Simpsons characters on Conan's show.


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Semen acts as an anti-depressant. "... women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. The researchers think this is because mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina."
  • And all these years we've been using flowers to cheer them up.


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Given that this is a legitimate news outlet nd not Weekly World News, we have to call this the headline of the day: Millionaire Stepson Hires Transsexual Trucker To Kill Mom. Soon to be a Fox movie of the week.


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29 Things that Michael Jackson Looks More Like Than a Human Being


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The War of the Worlds trailer will debut in the Super Bowl


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Congress frets over Hubble: "Saving the Hubble Space telescope may be too expensive and dangerous, lawmakers said Wednesday after hearing from scientists who are split on the best way to repair or retire the cosmic camera."


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Super Bowl to feature tiny 'Turf Cams'


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Two fired over radio tsunami parody. "The producer and co-host of a morning radio show that mocked tsunami victims have been fired."


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PlayStation Portable Set to Release on March 24 Across North America for $249.99


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NHL Owner: League will cancel this hockey season by Friday


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And I thought we took high school sports too seriously in Texas!!! A fight broke out in the stands of a girls high school basketball game in Alabama, prompting police to fire Tasers to stop it and clear the gym.


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Gere turns down Captain Von Trapp in The Sound of Music. "Richard Gere has been approached but it looks like other Hollywood films will take precedence - even after Lloyd Webber asked him personally.'"


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Letterman's "Top Ten Surprises In George W. Bush's State Of The Union Address"


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Gere turns down Captain Von Trapp in The Sound of Music. "Richard Gere has been approached but it looks like other Hollywood films will take precedence - even after Lloyd Webber asked him personally.'"


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AP Fooled Again! STATE OF THE UNION DELIVERED BY PLASTIC ACTION DOLL. New Jersey Toy Seller Spots Hoax.


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WTF?? Salma Hayek's Naked Breasts Make Her Want To Kill Herself. And she has some of the best breasts on the planet ...


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Daily Dispatch from the Kazaagate trial down under. There are lots of embarrassing internal documents from the Kazaa company. Three quick examples: (1) The company's chief technical officer was aware that Kazaa's activities were a huge legal risk. (2) He also feared competition from P2P programs that were free from adware. (3) Kazaa own employees didn't even want Kazaa on their machines because the adware slowed their computers down and sometimes hijacked their web browsers!


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