Sunday, February 13, 2005

"Veteran members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences have grown concerned over the choice of Chris Rock as host of this month's awards show. Concern deepened after
Drudge said that Chris Rock claimed only gays watch the Oscars!
  • "I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show," Rock recently declared. "What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one! Awards for art are fucking idiotic."


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Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez feeds the hungry, but does NOT clothe the naked. Beautiful Venezuelan woman, although not atypical for that country. I suppose I have been in about 70 countries, and if I had to rank all the countries I have visited based upon the beauty of the women, Venezuela would be in the top five, maybe the top three.


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X-Entertainment's Valentine's Day Nostalgia Special!


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Is this the most amazing play in basketball history? Carter has a seven footer directly between him and the basket. How can go straight to the hoop without committing an offensive foul? Simple. Vince Carter jumps OVER a seven footer to make a dunk.


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The Weekend Update site has loaded the Feb 5th show (Paris Hilton hosting)


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The Fight Continues for Texas Sovereignty The nut-jobs who would be kings of Texas have even minted their own currency and are trying to figure out how to issue passports! In previous days, they have advocated that the newly liberated Texas should re-institute slavery, which I would agree to - provided that those guys are the slaves.


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USATODAY.com - The 2005 Grammy winners list


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Ted Bundy tells all - audio tapes from the convicted, executed mass murderer.


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FilmJerk.com's indispensable Early Report for this week.


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Kevin Smith says on his official website that The Passion of The Clerks is "the funniest thing I've ever written." "It's also really poignant. This isn't gonna be a cameo-heavy affair, a'la Strike Back. The only returning characters are Dante and Randal, and Jay and Silent Bob. It won't be a star-studded affair. Jay and Silent Bob have about as much screen time as they had in Clerks. This is Dante and Randal's flick all the way."


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Will Smith's Hitch totally dominates the Weekend Box Office
  • Will is still golden. Hitch took in more than the next six films added together, and it took in four times as much as the second place finisher.
  • Sideways took in more than last week, although on fewer screens. It has slowly, steadily climbed to $53 million.
  • Inside Deep Throat pulled in some pretty big numbers per screen, but was only on 12 screens.


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Filthy, the greatest of all critics, reviews Pooh's Heffalump Movie
  • "Kids, Pooh's Heffalump Movie is good in the same way as seeing your parents screwing if your parents are hot-looking and you're not easily creeped out by that sort of thing."
  • The Pooh friends "learn that you shouldn't be afraid of the unknown. Kids, that's a great message. It's not necessarily true, though. The unknown should scare you out of your scalps."
  • "The songs are written by Carly Simon under the misguided belief that kids like sugar in their music as much as in their cereal."
  • "Despite the corny message and the crummy songs written for an audience of retarded two-year olds, it's a decent movie.


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Talk about some crazy shit. You can actually bet on the Razzies! Looks like Catwoman is the favorite. My choice, Superbabies, is trailing far behind.


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Student runs over driver's ed teacher. The article does not specify the grade received by this student.


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BUSTED!! Opening paragraph of the day: "A man was caught trying to smuggle monkey head fungus, and a vial of snake gall bladders into the country." The black market for snake gall bladders must be mighty lucrative!


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URL says it all: UglyBreastImplants.com


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Jail Cam - Sheriff's Department, Anderson County, Tennessee


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URL says it all: http://www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijk.com OK, I'm kidding. The URL doesn't say jack. It's a gimmick so you can get the world's longest e-mail address, and it's free. (Seems a little overpriced to me.)


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The trailer for Daybreak. Woo-hoo! Work your calendar around this one!!!
  • "Set in an unidentified small Swedish town, this tale centers on a handful of people over a 24-hour period. Some know each other, others don't, but come morning, all of their lives will have changed."


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The international trailer for Off the Map
  • "Across the ancient high desert landscape of northern New Mexico, an extraordinary family embarks on a lyrical journey of self-discovery that reveals unexpected moments of grace and the unpredictable but enduring nature of love. In Campbell Scott's 'Off the Map,' the poetry of a time and a place marked by simplicity comes into full bloom.

    It's 1974 and the harshly beautiful wilds of Taos are home to 11-year-old Bo Groden (Valentina de Angelis) and her free-thinking family. While constantly yearning for escape from her sparse environment, Bo passes the time with flair and imagination. She's a crack shot with a rifle and a bow and arrow, an artful plunderer of wallets and briefcases, and the compelling mistress of ceremonies for a moonlit three-ring circus of her own invention. Bo's home is an entrancing, challenging place that she will one day transcend to become the woman she was destined to be.


    Arlene (Joan Allen), Bo's warm, earthy, and eccentric mother, raises most of the family's food in her vegetable garden -- which she prefers to tend in the nude. Meanwhile, Bo's father, Charley (Sam Elliott), the embodiment of Old West masculinity, is losing the battle with his inner demons.

    When William Gibbs (Jim True-Frost) arrives, a hapless IRS agent with demons of his own, he soon proves to be a catalyst in the lives of the family during this watershed summer. Embraced by the Grodens' idyllic, peculiar world, Gibbs eventually abandons an investigation into the Grodens' tax history and realizes he has fallen in love with both the place and its people.

    In a surge of creative energy, Gibbs dips a brush in paint and pours his feelings out on canvas, discovering a long hidden talent for artistic expression. The Grodens, too, make their own discoveries over the course of this memorable season -- the mysteries of love and loss, the power of family unity, and the eternal truth that in New Mexico, the Land of Enchantment, anything is possible."


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