Friday, February 25, 2005

Pictures from the AVN porn industry convention in Vegas


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A school in the UK has banned children from playing tag, claiming it is too dangerous. Very true. Especially the traumatic and death-defying Freeze Tag. Tag deaths have been increasing in the U.K. every year since William the Conqueror. It was the fault of those damned Normans, who introduced their Gallic perversions to the game. When the Saxons played alone, nobody got hurt. Except in Axe Tag.


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Jimmy Olsen - cub queen?


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If they gave an Oscar for "Best Scenery" ...


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Hunter's widow claims the author shot himself while on the phone with her. Now THAT's Gonzo!


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"Floater" Ads - the new pop-ups. It surprises me that it has taken the whizzes so long to create anything to block those foul, hell-spawned monstrosities.


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The president-elect of the American Library Association uses a lot of fancy and contemptuous rhetoric to express how much blogs suck. He contends that blogs have not only lowered the reliability factor of information, but have also lowered the quality and civility of public discourse, a charge I can easily refute by saying "blow me, book-boy!"


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MOZILLA FOUNDATION ANNOUNCES 1.0.1 UPDATE TO FIREFOX. Release notes are available, and the download is ready to roll.


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Here's a good source for salacious celebrity gossip and pictures: the santas little helper blog


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This is allegedly the woman in the Fred Durst sex tape


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iowahawk: Fear and Loathing in the Mystery Machine. The forgotten episode of Scooby Doo, as penned by Hunter Thompson.


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Paris Hilton's Cellphone! Hacked! (The content they SHOULD have found)


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The first look at the trailer for Paul Haggis' directorial debut CRASH, starring Don Cheadle, Sandra Bullock, Brendan Fraser, Matt Dillon, and Ryan Phillippe.
  • A Brentwood housewife and her DA husband. A Persian store owner. Two police detectives who are also lovers. An African-American television director and his wife. A Mexican locksmith. Two car-jackers. A rookie cop. A middle-aged Korean couple... They all live in Los Angeles. And during the next 36 hours, they will all collide ... er - Crash
  • Or maybe that's the plot for Two Days in the Valley.
  • Or Short Cuts
  • or Amores Perros
  • whatever ...


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Here is a full five minute clip from Man of the House, the film with Tommy Lee as a gruff federal agent guarding cheerleaders. (Polish up the statuettes for that one.)


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The latest news on Basic Instinct 2. Sharon Stone is doing her leg-crossing exercises. I don't know - she's kind of old. Maybe she should use a stunt twat.


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The hacker who splashed the contents of Paris Hilton's T-MOBILE Sidekick has struck again:
The self-described 'T-MOBILE TERRORIST' has turned even more vicious -- by unleashing a 3-minute hardcore sex videophone capture of Limp Bizkit rocker Fred Durst. The hardcore video -- with audio -- shows Durst engaging in unprotected sex with a female. The graphic ''T-MOBILE TERRORIST' is seen throughout the clip."


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Oh, no - a new family vacation comedy starring Robin Williams


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Kraft draws ire for candy shaped like road kill. I tried to draw ire once, but it looked too much like Connecticut.


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Scientists invent glow in the dark mouse. Still no solution for global hunger.


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The French trailer and a clip from Gregg Araki's new film, Mysterious Skin: "'Mysterious Skin' explores the hearts and minds of two very different boys who turn out not to be as different as they appear. Brian is a troubled 18 year-old, who grew up a scared, introverted kid in the small town of Hutchinson, Kansas. Plagued by nightmares and terrified of the dark, Brian believes that he may have been the victim of an alien abduction. Neil McCormick is the ultimate beautiful outsider, wise beyond his years and curious about his developing sexuality. Eventually, Neil's pursuit of what he thinks is love leads him to New York City, while Brian's search for what happened leads him to Neil - together, both ultimately discover the truth."


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FCC rejects complaint involving 'Angel' . Heaven knows why this is news. The complaint was just a nuisance filing to begin with. I think the FCC rules should be changed so that unsuccessful complainants have to pay the fines that the show would have faced if guilty.


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The Smoking Gun's Oscar tribute: Hooray For Hollywood
  • "Our favorite confidentiality agreement, the one Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman once had their household employees sign;
  • Roman Polanksi's perversions;
  • Sharon Stone's demands;
  • Jack Nicholson's hooker problems;
  • Winona Ryder's probation report;
  • Christian Slater's drug rampage;
  • Ben Affleck's voting record;
  • Matthew McConaughey's naked bongoing;
  • Catherine Zeta-Jones's diet and topless photo beefs;
  • Bud Abbott's porno stash;
  • Lou Costello's porno stash;
  • Linda Fiorentino's nudity rider;
  • Diane Lane's modest proposals;
  • Tom Cruise's heterosexual exhortation;
  • Barbra Streisand's paparazzi rant;
  • Roddy McDowall's pirated films;
  • Mark Wahlberg's youthful indiscretions"


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Both Sides Rest in Blake Murder Case


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Pope watch.


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One cynic honors another: Hunter Thompson - The minuteman of the Rockies. By Christopher Hitchens


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President Bush continues his European Placation


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Will Boston's Fleet Center be (temporarily) renamed The Derek Jeter Arena?


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ESPN.com's Page 3 gets the jump on Scoopy Jr with their latest poll "Hottest actress in a sports film". I assume they mean "Who is the hottest actress at this particular moment who happens to have been in a sports movie at some time in her life?", as opposed to "Which actress has been the hottest within an actual sports movie?". If they did mean the latter, here are a few they missed:
  • Of course, they missed the obvious winner, Leah Thompson in All the Right Moves
  • Helen Shaver in Rowing Through
  • Ali Larter in Varsity Blues
  • Jenny McCarthy in Baseketball
  • Cynthia Gibb in Youngblood
  • Sanaa Lathan in Love and Basketball
  • Vanessa Angel in Kingpin


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The ten most expensive cars available in the USA. Hint: the Rolls Royce Phantom limps in at #5, and the most expensive Lamborghini is only #7


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Turn your Xbox into a XXXBox


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Problem: can't afford both a voodoo doll and a storage utensil for your kitchen knives. Solution: get the only tool that does both!


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The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation


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35 NBA players traded, including Webber to Sixers


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Penelope Cruz says she grew so much body hair for her latest film that no one recognized her. In fact, several people asked her for Ed Asner's autograph.


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British courts deny Christian schools the right to administer corporal punishment. The petitioners had cited the biblical verse (Proverbs 54-40 or Fighteth) which says, "Yea, must thou administer, in thy mercy, a flat hand to both bare buttocks simultaneously in a firm controlled manner. Then shalt thou caress the buttocks to restore their purity. Then shalt thou retire to a private area where thy spirit might be becalmed."


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Studios File 3rd Round of Movie Piracy Lawsuits, pinpoint their losses at "a zillion jillion dollars" while holding pinky to lips.


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Humankind has settled in some strange places. The tiny town of Ny Alesund is at 78 degrees North latitude. I wonder if anybody there has an internet connection to read this paragraph. More amazing than the fact that people live there is the fact that cruise ships stop there! My kind of cruise - to hell with those Caribbean wimps! Ny Alesund is a full two day sail through frigid waters from the northernmost point in Norway - to spend six hours in a place with a few modest buildings. Par - TAY!


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Ten great bar bets.


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Condi dresses for her role in Matrix Four


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President Bush Reaffirms America's Commitment to Exhausting All Diplomatic Options Prior to Unleashing a Righteous Thermonukular Holocaust on Iran (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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"Sideways" boosts Pinot Noir sales, but fails to bust Merlot.


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A blind man who bit his guide dog has been charged with animal cruelty.


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The Daily Show: "Secretly taped conversations with George Bush reveal... he's said some pretty reasonable things."


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The latest project for Scarlett Johansson


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APOD: Saturn's "Dragon Storm"


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Teri Hatcher says she once considered paying for sex. Yeah, she kept callin' me, but I needed more than a sawbuck. Was that so wrong?


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Julian McMahon has revealed he is on a shortlist of two to become the next James Bond. The other is believed to be Clint Howard.


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JoBlo.com awards the Golden Schmoes for 2004.


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