Thursday, March 03, 2005

The one time when it's really fun to be a cop - when an obnoxious asshole refuses to co-operate.


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In honor of the liberation of Denise Richards, here's her famous lingerie strip show from Tammy and the T-Rex (Bottom of page)


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Democrats seek White House disclosure of Jeff Gannon gay prostitution connection. White House has a good laugh over their futile efforts.


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P. Diddy is the new James Bond. OK, I know this is my running gag. I'm always announcing that the new Bond will be Ricardo Montalban or Clint Howard or Abe Vigoda or Tom Arnold or Gilbert Gottfried. But this time I'm not kidding. It's "Diddy, P. Diddy" - or something. Story doesn't make much sense to me.


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`Blair Witch' Creator Makes Web Film


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Here are lots of pictures of Anna-Nicole removing her top at the Aussie MTV Awards (Many thanks to submitter!)


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take-it-like-a-man.com - the ultimate guide to girl-on-guy strap-on sex.
  • English is so clumsy. Look at all those hyphens. I'll bet you there is one concise Japanese word for "girl-on-gay strap-on sex".
  • Of course, there is only one word for this in German as well, but it is damemitdenstraponimmaennlichenarschlochficken. And you don't even want to know the past perfect of that sumbitch.
  • And forget about Welsh. They consider that German word a contraction.


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boombags - the ultimate in hip luggage


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Watch the first five minutes of BOOGEYMAN


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Today's obligatory story about Paris Hilton or Russell Crowe: Paris Hilton is having a race driver teach her to control the car at 140 MPH so she can escape the paparazzi.


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Our favorite curmudgeon, Lewis Black, discusses New York pride.


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The Daily Show: "Brian Williams reported a story that turned out to be false... welcome to network news, baby!"


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Here's a new one for you to look at: FlushTheWeb.com - only the worst sites on the web - updated daily


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Impending Federal crackdown on freewheeling political blogging? OK, I'm jaded, and maybe there is a need for this action, but to me this sounds like a case of "We Republicans hold power. Blogs help Democrats more than us. Crackdown required."


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"This is a public relations film on Florida State University that features a young Jim Morrison, years before his more recognized role as lead singer for The Doors."


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Here's a clip from Be Cool.


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THE BAD NEWS BEARS TRAILER FOOTAGE . This looks a lot funnier than I expected. It looks like Billy Bob is taking his Bad Santa character into his role as the coach.


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The trailer for Will Ferrell's new flick, Kicking And Screaming


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Jennifer Aniston to star in a Women in Prison movie. Don't get your hopes up about shower scenes, strip searches, and hot girl-on-girl action. Her co-star is Meryl Streep.


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Squirrel Girl, world's worst super hero. This was an actual Marvel character created by the legendary Steve Ditko. She joined Iron Man in a battle against Ol' Doc Doom, and swung the balance of the fight, with the help of her squirrel friends.


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Longtime celebrity couple Katie Holmes and Chris Klein have called off their engagement and gone their separate ways.


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Danish director Lars Von Trier has cut a scene that featured a donkey being butchered for food from his latest film after protests by animal rights groups. Von Trier said he cut the scene, from the upcoming film Manderlay, not because he thought it was cruel, but was concerned it would draw attention away from the political and social content of the film. Manderlay is the second film in Von Trier's trilogy about evil in small-town America during the Depression.
  • What was he thinkin', removing that scene? Now his whole point is lost. Small-town America without the traditional donkey-butcherin' is barely recognizeable at all.


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Jurors taken on tour of Jackson's Peter Pan fantasy home.
  • "In a bid to convince the panel that the California hideaway was a pornography- and alcohol-stocked lure for impressionable children, prosecutors showed the jury a police video shot during a search of the ranch. "
  • "Jackson's enormous bed was crowned with a long mural of Leonardo Da Vinci's painting 'The Last Supper."
  • I don't know about the jury, but they convinced me! What impressionable kid wouldn't want to romp beneath The Last Supper? After reading that, even I want Jacko to fondle me.


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The design installation 'The Gates' created an economic boom for New York City, with the city getting a $254 million boost to its economy. "It was like Christmas out there," said Paul Harvey, a carriage driver who benefited from the increased traffic. "Two weeks of Christmas."


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Literotica - 100% free sex stories, adult fiction.


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Anna-Nicole drops her top at Aussie MTV awards.
  • "Anna-Nicole Smith has bared almost all at the MTV Awards in Sydney tonight - pulling her dress down to her waist to expose her 32DD-size breasts. While presenting an award, Smith pulled down her pink and silver dress, exposing her breasts - before turning around to tease audience members with a glimpse of the top of her G-string. Her nipples were covered by MTV stickers."
  • Later, at a press call in the media room, she again exposed her breasts - this time without the MTV stickers.
  • Looking for pictures. As Drudge would say, "developing ..."


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Newfound star said to be tiniest known. Oh, wait. The tiny star is not that new. It's actually Jordan Ladd.


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Brazil is having trouble with Korean pirates. Man, they should turn this into an opportunity. Pirates always need parrots. And who has more parrots to sell them than Brazil? On the other hand, the Koreans are small people, so maybe their pirates use parakeets.


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What is this story about? "They're smart, adaptive, secretive and operate under cover of darkness. Alert and wary, they've now been spotted less than 3 miles from the White House." Well, it's obviously not about Democrats.


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Another "dumb criminal" film in the making. Every producer must have Michael Rapaport on speed dial. A man was arrested Tuesday for trying to film the naked lady in the tanning room next to his. His only problems were 1) it was another man in the next room, and 2) he left the lens cap on anyway. Word.


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Jude Law sacks agent after Rock's Oscar joke. Five Latin words:post hoc ergo propter hoc


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Jennifer Lopez has penned a song about her break-up with Ben Affleck. The track features on her new album, Rebirth, released this week.
  • Well, there go my Friday plans
  • This story may sound trivial to you, but if you do your prep, you'll find it is merely a continuation of an honored tradition. All English-language romantic literature is based on breaking up with Ben Affleck. Who do you think was Shakespeare's Dark Lady?


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24-hour deadline to register objection to Charles marriage
  • "A member of the royal family cannot re-marry after divorce, cannot have a civil marriage, cannot marry a divorcee, cannot marry in church and cannot marry abroad if he wants to become king"
  • The English royals have sure become pussies. What do you think Hank Ocho would have done if some pissant cleric had handed him those rules?
  • What the hell good is being king, anyway, if you can't have a few nitpicking clerics beheaded now and then?


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YESSSSSSSSSS! Vanity Fair picks Bernard-Henri Levy as the world's best-dressed philosopher
  • I'll bet you think I'm kidding if you've never read Vanity Fair.
  • Sartre once said that being declared the best dressed philosopher was the most important honor he had ever received, although he followed up that comment by a rueful meditation on the nature of honor itself, and concluded by saying that nothing human was truly important anyway, given the scope of a vast and empty universe.
  • Of course, Sartre also said, "Hell is other people, especially those dressed unfashionably."
  • Interestingly, the world's second best dressed philosopher is the night man at my local 7-Eleven. Nothing impresses the fashion critics like a man in uniform.


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Latterman: "Top Ten Reasons I Love Racing"
  • "All the excitement of driving like a New York City cab driver without the risk of getting shot."


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"The spiciest movies in Italian TV's history!!"


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"CHARLOTTE Church's amazing sex secrets are today sensationally laid bare for the first time by the boyfriend who knows her best."


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eBay item - Tawny Peaks breast implant autographed!
  • You are bidding on a PIECE OF HISTORY! The infamous Playboy Cover Girl TAWNY PEAKS BREAST IMPLANT.
    This is the implant from the first known documented Law Suit over ASSAULT with a BREAST."


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The five sexiest men, the five sexiest women in Hollywood. Chris Rock take note: Jude Law and Colin Farrell made the list. (Tom Cruise and Russell Crowe did not.)


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Shannyn Sossamon and Pink will co-star in Catacombs. Filmed in Romania, Catacombs is the story of a young woman who, while on a visit to Paris, is taken to an underground party in the Catacombs, a 200-mile labyrinth of 14th Century limestone tunnels under the Left Bank. She is separated from her friends and becomes convinced that someone or something is chasing her.


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Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett and Gael Garcia Bernal are in talks to star in Babel, a drama directed by Inarritu (Amores Perros, 21 Grams) from a script by Guillermo Arriaga.


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Jay Leno wants an exception to the Jacko gag order. Funny! Since Leno is a witness, "Judge Rodney S. Melville's sweeping order barring anyone involved in the case from discussing it outside court could be interpreted to limit Mr. Leno's ability to publicly speak about the trial."


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Weekly World News: BRAVE CHIHUAHUA BITES OFF GRIZZLY'S NUTS TO SAVE MISTRESS!


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Queen to rock legends: "What do you do?" On the other hand, she did know Phil Collins. Go figure.


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The latest Hilton sister fakes from "Vincent" are taken from this series of pictures. (See bottom of page)


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