Sunday, March 13, 2005

URL says it all: AndreTheGiant.com


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Condi Rice denies she has her eye on the White House. "I don't have any desire to run for president. I don't intend to. I won't do it."


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"Hitch" continued to woo audiences, easily claiming the No. 1 spot at the international boxoffice. It averaged more than $11,000 per screen in the U.K.


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The trailer for Schizo, a coming of age story based in Kazakhstan.


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The trailer from Chrystal
  • "Chrystal is the story of a physically and emotionally damaged woman who is reunited with her husband, Joe. Sixteen years earlier while being chased by the law, Joe plunged the family car off a dark mountain road with Chrystal and their young son inside. Chrystal was left behind with a broken neck, Joe was sent to prison, and the boy was never found. Still inhabited by pain all these years later, Chrystal faces Joe, who has returned home from prison seeking to put back together the life that no longer exists. Together they must confront the past in order to discover their future.

    As Chrystal and Joe slowly reach out to one another, events once again, conspire to tear them apart. Chrystal’s feisty mother, Gladys (Grace Zabriskie) disapproves of Joe and his return. An old enemy named Snake, (writer/director Ray McKinnon), a gnarly, crank-snorting drug dealer, sees Joe as a threat and seeks to reel him in or take him out.

    Into this world of poverty, drugs, and at times, hilarious hillbilly hijinks comes Kalid (Harry Lennix), a blind African-American musicologist from Chicago who is studying the native mountain music of the region. It is through Kalid that Chrystal rekindles her forgotten love of her mountain roots, the mysteries of the land—its poetry, magic, music and history. But it is only through Joe, and his astonishing gesture, that Chrystal is able to truly renew her broken spirit. Also starring are co-producer Walton Goggins, Harry Dean Stanton, and James Intveld as a quiet, good-hearted sheriff."


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Man with two penises can't get any loving...




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JUSTICE DEPT. CONSIDERING TORTURE IN SPACE. "Thinking Outside the Box," Gonzales Says.
  • “There are major challenges inherent in torturing prisoners in zero gravity,” Dr. Nabel said. “For one thing, it’s really hard to make those hoods stay on.”
  • Elsewhere, in an effort to boost the anemic ratings of its boxing reality show “The Contender,” NBC announced today that the winner would beat up the winner of “American Idol.”


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The 100 Greatest TV Theme Songs of all time


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15 Japanese women break record for "most naked chicks in a phone booth


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NCAA Basketball - Illinois, UNC, Duke and Washington earn the No. 1 seeds. Washington?? Do they even have a team?


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15 Japanese women break record for "most naked chicks in a phone booth


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NCAA Tourney snubs - who has the biggest gripe?


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Google has changed its definitions link from dictionary.com to answers.com.


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Christina Applegate, star of the Broadway-bound revival of 'Sweet Charity,' broke her foot during a performance in Chicago and will be out of the musical through its Boston tryout engagement, which begins Friday. "


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Weekend Box Office March 11-13
  • Robots kicks some butt with a $36 million opening.
  • The Passion Recut turns out to be a complete dud.
  • The Pacifier holds up much better than Be Cool
  • Hostage can muster no better than $9 million
  • Hitch is still pretty strong - another nine million, $150 million total.


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British Writer Chosen for 'Peter Pan' Sequel


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President Bush turns away IRA leader from the White House. The British will be heartened to see that America's two-faced attitude toward terrorists (OK for redheads, evil for brown people) is finally starting to turn around.


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Walt Disney Co. is finally expected to name a successor to Darth Eisner.


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Muhammad Ali to accept German peace prize. Because nothing goes with "peace" like "Germany." Ali looks a lot different since I saw him last. I'm not sure I would have recognized him.


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Street to Studio: The Art of Jean-Michel Basquiat. The Brooklyn Museum is fronting an exhibition of the artist's colorful collection from now until June. The exhibit will then move to L.A., then Houston.


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Wikiquote has some good excerpts from the comedy of the late Bill Hicks


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Vampire Dogs. Your dog wants stake.


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Paparazzi catch Sheryl Crow topless.


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"Hilary Swank in Kiwi airport bust" This is some major criminal activity. Oscar-winning actress Hilary Swank is fighting a $200 fine for bringing an apple and an orange into New Zealand.


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The archives for the future George W. Bush Presidential Library


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Film Jerk's Early Report for March 12, 2005


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Giambi admits steroid use - JEREMY Giambi. As Tina Fey would say, he obviously didn't use the kind that make you good at baseball.


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Angelina Jolie admits that she has slept with every single adult on the planet except Brad Pitt and me. From the sound of the article, she might even slip Aniston the ol' tongue lashing, if given the opportunity.


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One reason to prefer Wikipedia to Britannica: How many articles does the fuckin' Britannica have on Japanese Octopus Porn? Huh? You can even click on the little octopus porn pic to see some jumbo-ass octopus porn. Now THAT's an encyclopedia.


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Brad Bird, director of The Incredibles, and his crew took some time to talk about some of the features on the new DVD.


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Today in Uncle Scoopy's Guest House: Ashley Judd cuts herself, and tries to shoot herself, presumably after seeing the reviews of De-Lovely.


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President Bush Pokes Fun at Himself at Press Dinner. Unfortunately, it was not the Gridiron Dinner, but the traditional Heads of State dinner, and the other guys were a little confused.


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