Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Feng Shui Underwear. This site delivers the quote of the day: "If you have a dragon on your underpants you will be protected." Protected from what? Well, you see, Wednesday begins the Year of the Rooster, and you need to be protected from the volatility of the cock. I didn't make this up.


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Elvis Jr update. Update/correction on Elvis Jr.'s mom. Thanks to a knowledgeable reader who identified that the "unknown" picture from Angelique Pettyjohn's filmography is from a little known 1982 epic entitled Titillation


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Oakland makes it into the NCAA tournament with a 13-18 record. Next stop: North Carolina. Hey, 13-18 doesn't seem that bad when you copnsider they started 0-7, and were 7-18 just a couple of weeks ago. Go back only a bit more and they are in Division II.


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How does a coin-op pool table know to return the cue ball when you scratch?


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Some seniors have found that cruise ships are better places to retire than retirement homes - maybe even cheaper!


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An aerial shot of the movie set for the new Superman movie shows a life-sized replica spaceship buried at the end of a ditch near the town of Breeza, Australia


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Artcyclopedia: The Fine Art Search Engine


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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher: Pregnant?


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Borowitz: NEW WHITE HOUSE REPORTER TURNS OUT TO BE DICK CHENEY. Fake Moustache Falls Off Veep During Press Briefing.


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A Dictionary of Old Hobo Slang.


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Ashley Judd will star in Come Early Morning, a coming-of-age story set in a rural small town
  • This film will be written and directed by ... (wait for it) ... actress Joey Lauren Adams.
  • The film centers on a woman in her 30s who is beginning to come to terms with her selfish and prickly relatives, her own self-worth, and her search for meaning.
  • No one will be admitted during the last thrilling fifteen minutes, or if they have a penis


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Here's the trailer from Nina's Tragedies. I think the title probably tells you all you need to know about this Israeli film.


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Five clips from The Ring Two


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One in three dads try breastmilk. The number was 69% in East Anglia. Only one in three? You mean 2/3 of men are not even a little curious what it tastes like? You mean to say that the other 2/3 stop kissing or sucking their wives' nipples during breast feeding? I have to call shenanigans on that statistic. OK, if you decide to pump it out and drink it with Kahlua, that might be extreme, but just tasting it? C'mon, all men do that at least once, don't they?


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A top Catholic cardinal has blasted 'The Da Vinci Code' as a 'gross and absurd' distortion of history and said Catholic bookstores should take the bestseller off their shelves because it is full of 'cheap lies.' I could be wrong, but I think that's why they put it in the "fiction" section. In fact, when you get right down to it, "fiction" and "cheap lies" are essentially the same thing.


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As of this minute, SXSW has registered 1368 different acts.


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In trying to broaden their appeal to more mainstream Americans, hailsatan.us is featuring an exhibition entitled Jesus Rapes a Baby. I'm pretty sure that should bolster their Spring recruiting drive, especially in the South.


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Weekly World News: "THE TINY principality of Tonzanique has a unique way of choosing its king and queen. It picks them by the size of their sex organs! 'We believe that the man with the biggest penis is the one who will protect us best,' says Tonora Kihali, Tonzanique's Minister of Information. "


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The Daily Show asks: "Was the early death of Egypt's boy king Tutankhamen an accident, or MURRRRDERRRR?!? "


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The Daily Show looks at congressional investigations: Enron, Halliburton, Abu Ghraib -- and instead there's a full-scale investigation into baseball.


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The Daily Show's Samantha Bee investigates whether this country needs better enforcement of spoiler alerts.


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Student Arrested For Terroristic Threatening! You're gonna love this.
  • What his grandparents found in his journal and turned into police turned out to be a short story he wrote for English class. A short story about zombies.
  • OK, we all had a good laugh, and that's the end of it, right? Wrong. The police admitted it was a short story, but said it was still a felony! "Police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. 'Anytime you possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky.'"
  • The exact crime, according to the learned police spokesman? "Possessing matter involving a school". I'm curious. Is there anyone in the United States who does not possess matter involving a school? I still have my yearbook. Thank God I'm not in Kentucky.


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New pictures from the graphic novel adaptation Sin City. And by that, of course, I mean Alba, not Willis or Rourke.


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Why did Mario Vazquez quit 'Idol'? People are buzzing over the fact that it had something to do with him being gay. I'm not too sure what the hell that would have to do with precluding a career in singing. Is there anyone in showbiz who isn't gay? Maybe Sean Connery, but even he wears those little skirts.


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Conan's heartfelt tribute to the wonder that was "The Gates"


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See just about anything be shredded


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Elvis Jr. update. (See links below for more details). Elvis Aaron Presley JR. Official Web Site. You can listen to his songs here. He does sound like The King, but then so does the entire population of Las Vegas.


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ESPN.com: Page 3 - Top 100 sports movie quotes


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The trailer for Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith


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APOD: Steep Cliffs on Mars


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APOD: Steep Cliffs on Mars


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Jacko's lawyers tear his accuser a new one. The kid reluctantly admitted that he told his teacher that Jackson never molested him, and he did so very shortly after the alleged abuse took place.


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MovieJuice! takes a satirical look at Hostage - Wha' chu Talkin' 'about, Willis?


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