Saturday, March 26, 2005

A new theory about the Shroud of Turin.


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Madame Gigi, the psychic chihuahua


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The perfect Mother's Day Present: Solar Death Ray


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The Pat O'Brien sexual harassment scoreboard.


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Stay in Jim Morrison's Apartment for $200 a night.


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"Real" witch ridicules the websites of false witches. I think this may be post-ironic.


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The partnership you've been waiting for: France and Microsoft, thus allowing an important consolidation of hatred which might otherwise be too diffuse. Next in line to align: North Korea and Affleck.


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You think you're pretty smart because you found Waldo. Now find Jesus. Hey, it's Easter. What better time to find Jesus?


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The trailer for Hooligans, or maybe not ... ?


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Several new documents and transcriptions have been adeed to The Business of Baseball (Indicated by the NEW button). This is a priceless collection of material for those interested in this subject. It includes material dating back to the 19th century.


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Cartoon Network - watch online - all five episodes of Star Wars: Clone Wars Volume II


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New pics from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire


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Nickname says it all: Gregg "Big Arms" Valentino.


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Britney Spears: Pregnant, per Star Magazine


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According to an Anglican Bishop, Prince Chuck is obliged to apologize to Camilla's ex-husband for having an affair with her, and this must occur before their forthcoming wedding can go ahead.


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Did you know that "Tony Danza" is the name of a sex act? Tony thus joins, on the short list of celebs who have lent their names to sexual practices, the Marquis de Sade, Leopold Sacher-Masoch (who invented a torte with half of his name, and masochism with the other half), and the detective Harry "Dirty" Sanchez (the famous "Harry El Sucio").


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Headline of the day goes to the Village Voice: "Big Verdict: Lil' Kim Is Seriously Fucked".


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Three to four times as many women as men died in the Asian tsunami


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Quick, get Quentin Tarantino on the phone! The craziest Schiavo story yet - Florida state officials and local cops in showdown over possession of Schiavo!
  • "a team of Florida law enforcement agents were en route to seize her and have her feeding tube reinserted - but they stopped short when local police told them they would enforce the judge's order. 'We told them that unless they had the judge with them when they came, they were not going to get in,' said a source with the local police. Participants in the high-stakes test of wills, who spoke with The Miami Herald on the condition of anonymity, said they believed the standoff could ultimately have led to a constitutional crisis - and a confrontation between dueling lawmen."
  • "State officials on Friday vigorously denied the notion that any showdown occurred."





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The last Cinderella is gone, her carriage turned back into a pumpkin thanks to Louisville. Heartbreakingly enough, West Virginia took it to overtime before bowing out! Lots of cheers for the amazing Mountaineers, who lost ten games during the regular season, then played like real champs in the tournament.


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eBay item - WAYNE NEWTON Blow Up DOLL - Danged Weird!


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So did LeBron really make those shots?


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Production Design from Terry Gilliam's The Brothers Grimm


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Polls Show 7 to 9 point drop in Bush's Job Approval in one week!
  • He hit a low of 43 in the CBS poll, on his way to Carter Country!
      Four good reasons
    1. Schiavo
    2. Gas prices
    3. Social Security
    4. see #2


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Man Sells Device That Blocks Fox News. He has received death threats. Next on The Sopranos: Tony whacks a guy for blocking Fox News.


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Dave Barry tracks down a gynecologist named Harry Beaver


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

My wife's old Gyno was named Dr. Richard R. Stiff. (DICK R STIFF!)
He practaced in Clearwater Florida 15 years ago.

 

New research reveals that lobsters are too smart for traps!


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The Daily Show's Ed Helms gets to the heart of the Rutgers newspaper censorship scandal.


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Jon Stewart decrees that the Schiavo feeding tube will soon be removed from the cable media networks.


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Steve Carell tries to explain why the part of Steve Carell is now played by Griffin Dunne.


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Aniston Files for Divorce From Pitt. There goes our hope for peace in the Middle East.


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"Bud Selig must be praying that Barry Bonds retires"


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New Mexico Sen. Steve Komadina introduces The Right to Eat Enchiladas Act ... a precious freedom FDR shamefully neglected to mention in his Fireside Chats.


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White House Easter Egg Roll: Declaring Egg Roll Era "Over," President Proudly Introduces New Easter Activity for Children - WHITEHOUSE.ORG
  • "we are pleased to announce a replacement for the Easter egg roll event - one which is not only tremendously enjoyable for young people, but also reaffirms the absolute supremacy of both Jesus Christ and fossil fuels within the context of a familiar seasonal activity. And so, without further delay, I am proud to declare the first annual White House Easter 10W-40 Motor Oil Scavenger Hunt open for business! "


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The Old Negro Space Program The shocking and inspiring but false story of America's blackstronauts.


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Today in Uncle Scoopy's Guest House: a film so strong it could only be toplined by one man - The Sherminator. (OK, at least it features Nikki Ziering's breasts.)


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Two words: Duke Sucks. And there was much rejoicing among the multitudes of Duke-haters in the Middle Atlantic part of our country, especially since UK kicked some ass on the same night, while North Carolina survived a close call against Villanova, and Louisville is already in.


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As I predicted, Wisconsin made the elite eight without ever facing a team seeded better than tenth! The free ride is over, however. North Carolina is next on the docket.


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Hollywood Bitchslap - Criticwatch 2004 - The Quote Whores Of The Year!
  • Eric Childress of Bitchslap keeps track of the critics who seem to write their reviews with a view to being quoted in the print ads or on the DVD boxes. Predictably, his winner was my personal hero, the legendary Earl Dittman of "Wireless Magazine". Some samples:
    • Catwoman - 100% pure fun and excitement! Berry's performance is sensational. Catwoman is eye-popping.
    • New York Minute - A big-hearted, joke-filled movie treat for the whole family. A slapstick comedy that will turn movie-lovers of all ages into fans.
    • Shall We Dance? - Utterly entertaining! Simply enchanting. Richard Gere and Susan Sarandon are extraordinary. Shall We Dance is a dream come true.




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