Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Google acquires Urchin Software


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"FUNNIEST STORE SLOGANS IN AMERICA!"


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Demon-Possessed Treadmill Makes Users Slip and Fall! Silly item, but funny video clip.


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My God, I am in heaven already. Not only a sequel to the Bean movie, but two incredible new TV shows!
  • Hogan Knows Best:"The show casts retired wrestler Hulk Hogan as a traditional suburban dad to two teenagers on a 20,000-square-foot estate in Clearwater, Fla. Programming chief Brian Graden was intrigued by the blond-maned grappler's 'tenderly gruff and protective' side. 'He goes to elaborate lengths to protect his daughter on her first date,' surreptitiously planting a GPS tracking device in her car." Oh, please, let Roddy Piper be the villain on this show!
  • Also on the docket: Being Bonaduce. "The series is a look at ex-Partridge Family child star Danny Bonaduce, keyed to his troubled 15-year marriage to a woman he had known just seven hours. Couples therapy sessions provide the loose framework for each episode, which then goes into the family's home. "


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Urban Legend: The plastic strip embedded in U.S. bank notes enable the Feds to tell how much money you have on you. Status: (points to people who believe that shit and laughs)


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Letterman's "Top Ten Things Overheard At The White House Easter Egg Hunt"


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Fox denies copyright infringement for 'Kingdom of Heaven'


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Oh, praise the Lord. It is possible that I will be able to die in perfect contentment. They are trying to put together another Mr Bean movie! Bean 2: Bean's Revenge. So, what do you think, Marv?


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Hollywood is grappling with soaring costs of filmmaking by making fewer pictures. And yet there is always plenty of money for Ewe Boll's masterpieces.


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Hilarious music video - remembering the 70s! How the hell did we tell the difference between straight guys and gays back then?


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Redford will play Branch Rickey in Jackie Robinson biopic. Redford looks nothing like Rickey. Mr Rickey was a great man in many ways, but was not movie star handsome by any stretch of the imagination. Here's a picture:


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22 year old female Yalie writes Chloe Does Yale - Sex and the Ivy League


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'Sin City' Premiere Sinfully Star-Studded


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The colorful diva Courtney Love, emerging from more than a year of legal woes, has agreed to play legendary porn star Linda Lovelace in an explosive movie comeback.


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Johnnie Cochran, O.J.'s lawyer, dies of a brain tumour.


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Seeing red? Not on Ashton Kutcher's wrist. The studio spent $100,000 to make Kutcher's red Kaballah bracelet disappear digitally.


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"Move Over, Pussycat Dolls: Here Come Carmen Electra's Bombshells" The former Prince protege has started her own burlesque troupe.


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Tell them what they've won, Don Pardo!


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Silent Bob keeps an Online Diary.


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"Apprentice hottie - real estate agent Katrina Campins - pranced the entire length of the runway not realizing that she had popped out of the black and white striped jacket she was modeling."


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Calculus, Quadratic Equations Split Pennsylvania Town Over Faith-Based Mathematics (Not a real news story)


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I'll bet you guessed that Jennifer Lopez shit on Ben Affleck - but I'll bet you thought it was a figure of speech.


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PTA's next film will be an adaptation of a muckraking 1927 novel by Upton Sinclair. Daniel Day-Lewis is the tentative star. PTA has turned into Ken Loach?


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The trailer and two clips from Dust to Glory
  • "Each year fans and glory-seekers flock to Mexico for an infamous off-road race covering 1,000 miles of unforgiving territory. Dust to Glory is the story of the Baja 1000-the madness and the mayhem."


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Shatner punks Iowans. Actually a fairly interesting story.


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Madonna just can't shake the, er, habit of dressing as a nun.


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Crispin Hellion Glover's Feature Film What Is It?


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Bruce Willis shows Conan how to live life to the fullest.


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The trailer for A Good Woman
  • "'A Good Woman' is a scandalous yet comic story set in New York and the Italian Riviera during the 1930s. Mrs. Erlynne (Hunt) is an audacious and well-known woman of a certain age with a reputation for entertaining wealthy, married men. Leaving her problems and unpaid bills in New York, she sets sail for Italy to pursue Meg (Johansson) and Robert Windermere (Umbers), one of the most high profile couples in 1930s society. Once in Europe, she becomes embroiled in a family scandal which becomes an intriguing story of seduction, betrayal and, ultimately, surprising loyalty."


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The trailer for Mad Hot Ballroom
  • Eleven-year-old New York City public school kids journey into the world of ballroom dancing and reveal pieces of themselves and their world along the way. Told from their candid, sometimes hilarious perspectives, these kids are transformed, from reluctant participants to determined competitors, from typical urban kids to "ladies and gentlemen", on their way to try to compete in the final city-wide competition. Providing unique insight into the incredible cultural diversity that is New York City, this film profiles several kids from three schools (out of 60) at this dynamic age, when becoming that "cool" teenager vies for position with familiar innocence, while they learn the Merengue, Rumba, Tango, Foxtrot and Swing.


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The trailer for Stephen Tobolowsky's Birthday Party. Bizarre concept. Long explanation offered at the linked site. (Steven is better known as Needle Nose Ned, the douchebag salesman from Ground Hog Day.)


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Here's the trailer for Tony Scott's Domino
  • "Keira Knightley stars in the wild action thriller 'Domino,' the latest project from director Tony Scott ('Man on Fire,' 'Beverly Hills Cop II,' 'True Romance'). A trademark Scott film, 'Domino' presents an entertaining mix of gritty action, biting comedy and sharp visuals. The film tells the true story of Domino Harvey, daughter of legendary actor Laurence Harvey and a former Ford model who rejected her privileged Beverly Hills life to become a bounty hunter."


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Two clips from Off the Map.
  • "Across the ancient high desert landscape of northern New Mexico, an extraordinary family embarks on a lyrical journey of self-discovery that reveals unexpected moments of grace and the unpredictable but enduring nature of love. In Campbell Scott's "Off the Map," the poetry of a time and a place marked by simplicity comes into full bloom."


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The trailer for Stephen Tobolowsky's Birthday Party. Bizarre concept. Long explanation offered at the linked site. (Steven is better known as Needle Nose Ned, the douchebag salesman from Ground Hog Day.)


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Borowitz: HARVARD PRESIDENT AGREES TO WEAR DRESS FOR A YEAR. ‘Landmark Deal,’ Says Summers


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Kim Cattrall to play sex vamp in British movie.


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Sony Ordered to Halt PlayStation Sales.


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Bad news for Jacko. "The judge in Michael Jackson's child sex trial dealt a devastating blow to the star by ruling that jurors can hear details about five past abuse claims against him. "


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"Multiple spies at Sony have confirmed that Thomas Hayden Church will indeed be playing SANDMAN." (In Spidey 3, for people visiting from outer space to study our quaint earthling ways.)


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Today at Uncle Scoopy's Guest House: the new DVD of Orgazmo.


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Reality TV turns ugly. "Rachel Hunter? She's spotty, fat and finished"


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License plate spray foils traffic cameras.


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Gift for the man who has everything? How about some personal luxury submarines.


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New Fantastic Four trailer.


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Shatner Pitched 'Academy' Show To Paramount: "William Shatner (James T. Kirk) last year pitched an idea to Paramount Pictures about a new Star Trek television series called The Academy, featuring adolescent versions of the Original Series triumvirate of Kirk, Spock and McCoy"


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Foxblocker.com - Shut The FOX Up!. Why would people pay money for this? Amazingly, my television came with a Fox Blocker, and I didn't even have to play the nine bucks. It's one-a them thar fancy-schmancy newfangled gee-gaws called a "remote". Just call me an early adopter.


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Weekly World News: "Dick Cheney Worked His Way Through College ... AS A NUDE MODEL"


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The Sariska is the best tiger sanctuary in the world. How do we know? Well, it must be the safest and the cleanest - because it is completely uncontaminated by tigers.


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