Wednesday, April 13, 2005

MrTwig now has the new SouthPark episode: "The Death fo Eric Cartman".


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Tom DeLay says the GOP's 'Contract With America' ranks right up there with the Magna Carta, Declaration of Independence and Bill of Rights among the 'great documents of freedom.' How many times can I say it? I LOVE this guy!


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Tom DeLay, who denounced judges involved in the court battle over Terri Schiavo, said on Wednesday he has requested a congressional review of the brain-damaged woman's 'right-to-die' case. In theory, the House Judiciary Committee could seek to impeach those judges ...
  • DeLay referred to them as "arrogant, out of control, unaccountable." That reminds me of someone, like ... um ... wait, it'll come to me.
  • Damn, I'll bet they would be much better judges if they could afford to pay their wives and kids $500,000 for much-needed consulting services.


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Very HQ pics of Jessica Simpson in a pink bikini (as Daisy Duke).


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"Bono would make an excellent candidate for pope." Ya, know, I think I'd be a great Pope. I have a really large head and a thick neck, and could easily wear those giant hats. Plus, I'm a big fan of the Cardinals.


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Three newly-discovered species of slime mold beetles named Bush, Cheney, and Rumsfeld.


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Elle Macpherson caught topless by paparazzi.


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Urban legend: "In accordance with a requirement of their original Royal Charter, the Hudson's Bay Company of Canada makes annual payments of elk and beaver pelts to the Queen of England. " Status: False, but with an interesting back story:
  • "Actually, the Hudson's Bay Company's original charter did call for them to provide two elk heads and two beaver pelts to royalty, but only when said royalty came to the Rupert's Land area of Canada, not as an annual payment. This "tradition" has been observed on three occasions when royalty travelled to Canada, all of them in the twentieth century: a visit by King George VI in 1939, and visits by Queen Elizabeth II in 1959 and 1970. On the last occasion, however, the queen was not presented with any heads or pelts but with live animals, which she donated to a Winnipeg zoo. "


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Letterman's "Top Ten Good Things About Turning 58"


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Applications to the top MBA programs have dropped almost 30% overall since 1998, with some schools experiencing declines of 50% or more


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Collect Britain presents 90,000 images and sounds from the British Library


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Discography - lyrics to all the songs of that beloved, sentimental band, Anal Cunt. No worry about these guys being too PC.


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Glass Curtain Gallery Archives. An art exhibit in Chicago features mock-ups of U.S. stamps - including one with a gun to the President's head!


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This week's movie reviews: The Amityville Horror. There are only seven reviews in so far, but they are quite positive!!


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This week's theater count - no major releases this week except The Amityville Horror, which will be on more than 3000 screens.


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Teenage boy desperate to get head. "A 17-year-old Morrisville youth was being held on $100,000 bail after police said he raided a tomb in a cemetery and removed a head from a corpse."


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Harvard Professor Accused Of Trying To Steal Manure From Farmer


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Here's the trailer for Apres Vous. bas/haut debit means low/high bandwidth (literally "flow"), bande annonce is the French expression for trailer.
  • French Comedy: "Antoine saves Louis from hanging himself, though in his attempt to get Louis back on his feet, Antoine gets caught in a romantic triangle."


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Headline of the day comes from from CNN: Alex Trebek sued over missing horse. Trebek claims the missing horse is pushin' up the daisies. Story itself is kinda boring. Talk about beating a dead horse.


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No link here, just useful movie esoterica from my mailbox:
"I'm not sure if you've reviewed Jet Li's Hero but if you haven't seen it yet, there is something important you should know. The symbol that Broken Sword writes down is very poorly translated. Instead of 'Our Land,' it should read 'All Under Heaven.'

Reviewers slammed the ending of this movie because the mistranslation makes it look like a defense of imperialism. It is in fact about the choice of Nameless to follow Broken Sword and his choice not to kill. It is this challenge that Nameless lays before Shih Chin Tu'an Ti."


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The website of MST3000's Michael J Nelson, who is one of the funniest writers in the world. I have read and enjoyed his book Movie Magacheese. He has also written two other books which I have not read.




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Something Awful reviews "1 Night in China"
  • "Do I really need to paint you a picture on this one? A giant woman who looks and sounds like a man with breast implants has a three inch long clitoris. I think this one is about as clear cut as it gets barring a snuff film review."
  • We also reviewed this fine film.


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The LED Electronic Scrolling Belt Buckle. With a video demonstration. Good potential to sell advertising:
  • Over six billion served
  • Have you seen SE7EN yet?
  • A taste of paradise
  • Live in your pants. Play in mine.
  • Let your fingers do the walking
  • Reach out and touch someone
  • Keeps going and going and going.
  • Now You're Playing With Power!
  • It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
  • Sometimes you feel like a nut.
  • Where's the beef? Right here.
  • It's not just for breakfast anymore.
  • Race for the honey-nutty taste


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Jackson Accuser's Mother Pleads the Fifth. Jackson's attorneys tried to prevent this, but I disagree with their reasoning. This actually does them a great favor. Having a witness plead the fifth has a completely different meaning in terms of legal technicalities than it does to juries. To legal scholars, it is a way of protecting one's right and avoiding the possibility of admitting guilt. To a jury, it's WORSE than admitting guilt. It says to a juror, "I am a complete scumbag guilty of far worse things than even the opposing attorneys can imagine, and anything I say should be completely discounted."


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IDAHO HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29 - commending Napoleon Dynamite This is for real - at least in the sense that it is really on the website of the Idaho Statutes and Constitution. Excerpts:
  • WHEREAS, tater tots figure prominently in this film, thus promoting Idaho's most famous export
  • WHEREAS, Uncle Rico's football skills are a testament to Idaho athletics
  • WHEREAS, the prevalence of cooked steak as a primary food group pays tribute to Idaho's beef industry
  • WHEREAS, Napoleon's tetherball dexterity emphasizes the importance of physical education in Idaho public schools
  • WHEREAS, any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote "Nay" on this concurrent resolution are "FREAKIN' IDIOTS!" ...


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Randy Quaid and Jack Nicholson may team up again for a sequel to 1973's The Last Detail. The sequel, "Last Flag Flying", will pick up with the characters 30 years later. The article says that the author of the novel The Last Detail has already written the follow-up novel, but it doesn't seem to have been published yet.


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Justin Timberlake's latest movie is set for a series of reshoots, because it's based on a real-life fugitive - and he has now been arrested. Or at least that's the reason they are giving for the re-shoots. Either that, or they finally watched what they had shot.


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Jennifer Lopez has revealed that she loves cleaning house. I don't know. She doesn't do that good a job on my house, but maybe that is a different Jennifer Lopez.


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Joaquin Phoenix has checked himself in to a rehab clinic for treatment of alcoholism.


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Weekly World News: "HOW TO HAVE UNINHIBITED OUT-OF-BODY SEX WITH ANYONE YOU LIKE -- WITHOUT THE MESS . . . IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN MIND! " I'm pretty sure that all teenage boys already know this technique.


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Bruce Willis was made an officer in France's Order of Arts and Letters and, interestingly enough, this also makes him commander-in-chief of their armed forces, so their surrendering days are over.


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German Cardinal emerges as favorite in Papal Pageant. But I think it's all going to boil down to the swimsuit competition.


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Jon Stewart reveals new political gigs in 'Where are They Now and Who Were They Again?'


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The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert explores a new kind of prejudice against a new kind of 'person of color' - tattooed people.


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Byron York talks to Jon Stewart about 'The Vast Left Wing Conspiracy,' revealing that a press pass can get you a long way.


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President Bush's iPod: The Complete Playlist (Dude, it's a joke)


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Is "www" in Hebrew equal to 666?


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A previously unpublished poem by Tennessee Williams, described as having been 'written out of absolute, complete despair,' has been discovered in his "blue book" from a college course examination in 1937.


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Celebrities go for 'esoteric' books: "Annual 'Who Reads What' list released"


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Borowitz: "KIM JONG-IL AGREES TO GIVE UP NUKES IN EXCHANGE FOR ANGELINA JOLIE." Bush Blasts Proposal as "Indecent"


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Tom DeLay urged GOP senators Tuesday to blame Democrats if asked about his ethics controversy. I love this guy!


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"You have reached what we think is the Internet's largest gallery of before and after images of breast surgery"


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

the link is fucking broken bro...

 

A SIGNED photo of Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, was beaten at a charity auction by a pile of DUNG. (And it wasn't close!)


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