Monday, April 18, 2005

Jodie Foster will star in a Spike Lee movie.


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The World of Napkins


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Here's that clip of Tyra Banks going on a rude and clueless rant on her supermodel search show.


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URL says it all: BobSagetIsGod.com


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Robin Williams Reacts to NBC's Mork Movie.
  • "I knew something was up when I asked [NBC] for a script," he says. "They said, 'No, we don't have that.'"


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Fametracker makes the odds on the nature of the surprise ending for the new Shyamalan movie


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'Star Wars' novel released weeks before the movie
  • "The novelization of Revenge of the Sith, the latest Star Wars movie, is already on sale - weeks before the movie's May 19 release. Matthew Stover, author of Revenge of the Sith, said in an interview with the Associated Press that even though the novel gives away the story, he doesn't think fans will be content with just the book."


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Former PMOY Silvstedt admits to making love on a Jet Ski.
  • Or as they call it in Scandinavia, a Yet She.
  • Did the earth move for you? It moved for me. Oh, wait, that was a passing speedboat


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'Growing Pains' father Alan Thicke is headed to the altar again, for the 11th time, of which three have been marriages, and the other eight goat sacrifices to the Dark Lord.
  • And yet Cardinal Biffi never considered the candidacy of Alan Thicke for the Antichrist job.


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President Bush Endorses Ariel Sharon's Vision for the Global Enragement of Muslamian Vermin (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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Two trailers from Three...Extremes
  • "Exploring the outer limits of the macabre, Lions' Gate Films' 'Three...Extremes' is a bracing triptych of horror stories uniting three of East Asia's most compelling directors: Japanese cult figure Takashi Miike, Hong Kong's Fruit Chan, and Korea's award-winning Park Chan-Wook. Using distinctive cinematic styles that span dream-like minimalism, savage comedy and baroque horror, these cutting-edge directors penetrate the dark heart of desire, examining the ghastly urges that transform ordinary people into monsters. Stylish, twisted and laced with haunting imagery, 'Three...Extremes' breaks the bounds of genre cinema, confirming the visionary talent of three master directors."


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Three new clips from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.


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Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith - new footage seen on German TV. Different footage because they have to spin the film in reverse for Germany, where they are rooting for the Evil Empire.


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Cardinal Who Warned of 'Antichrist' Rises in Betting Odds
  • Cardinal Biffi believes the Antichrist is alive and is a prominent philanthropist who advocates causes like human rights, the environment, pacifism, environmentalism and animal rights. Biffi added that the Antichrist is a Bible expert who discards its truths to prosletyze for "vague and fashionable spiritual values.
  • Jimmy Carter is the Antichrist? Man he sure didn't do much to capitalize on his evil power when he was President. What bigger opportunity is he going to get?


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Discovery Channel's Top 100 Americans
  • WTF?? The list includes Christopher Reeve, Dr. Phil, Madonna, Pat Tillman and Ellen DeGeneres, but not Thomas Paine, Ernest Hemingway, Edgar Allan Poe, or (GASP!!) John Adams, or (DOUBLE GASP!!) James Madison.


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Yanks score 19. A-Rod goes 5 for 6 with four extra base hits including two dingers.
  • A-Rod and Tino knocked in six apiece. Thank God for the Devil Rays.


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Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are reportedly planning to get married in Las Vegas. A source close to the couple added: 'Members of their family have been told to assemble.'"
  • "Told to assemble?" Are they getting married while defending Rome from the Huns?


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Steve Zahn says he's the envy of every man on the planet after spending three days naked with Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek. I guess I should explain that Hayek and Cruz wore all their clothing. Only Zahn was naked.


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Virgin Mary appears to Chicago commuters in the form of a salt stain. Police are currently keeping the scene free of deer.


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Anonymous Sparks said...

Surely, I'm not the only one who thinks that looks more like a giant vagina....

 


Blogger Uncle Scoopy said...

I thought the same thing, but I figured I'd keep it to myself.
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Sleeping Yankee bats awaken as the team scores 13 in the second inning. Of course, as I type this, their relievers are struggling to hold the lead!


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Majority Leader Tom DeLay Issues Long-Overdue Revisions to U.S. House of Representatives Official Code of Conduct (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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The official site and trailer for Darkon, the documentary movie about those medieval war game dudes and their fantasy kingdoms.


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Schneier on Security: Hacking the Papal Election. Do they use Diebold machines?


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Payne and Oh to divorce. Payne simply felt that he needed more personal space. Especially now that he's a big deal and can have sex with much hotter chicks. (Obligatory nod to truth: It was actually Oh that filed for divorce.)


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Cyclist Lance Armstrong announces his retirement from cycling so he can run for pope.


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Ann Coulter's Beauty Secret - bathing in the blood of the innocent.
  • "The Heartland has given those of us in the upper echelons of society the go-ahead to live off the blood of our social inferiors. The way I like to think of it is: red states are red corpuscle states, brimming with life and vitality. While the blue states are blood cells depleted of oxygen, the same way the Democrat party is depleted of ideas and morality. If American values and ideals are to survive, we must confront our political opponents, rip out their throats with our sharp incisors, and feed upon the warm blood flowing from their ruptured arteries."


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Surprise of the day: Verizon CEO doesn't like the idea of free municipal wi-fi


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SI's Cousineau-free take on the top draft busts of the modern era.
  • This "bad choice" selection used a different criterion from the one below. It is based on the players' performance, not on whether the team wasted a pick. Cousineau wasn't really a bust as a player, just a wasted selection. He was drafted first overall by the Bills, but told them to shove it and played in the CFL, where he proceeded to be the Grey Cup defensive MVP in his rookie season, and the Canadian press selection as runner-up in the "outstanding defensive player" balloting in 1980
  • By the way, the Bills traded a running back to the 'Niners to get that #1 Cousineau pick and four other draft picks. Some obscure guy named Orenthal Simpson, who apparently retired to a quiet, private life away from the glare of celebrity.
  • Incidentally, the Cousineau pick didn't turn to be that big a bust for the Bills in the long run. When Cousineau left Canada to return to the NFL, the Bills still owned the right to sign him, and they traded that right to Cleveland for two draft picks, including a first rounder that they used to pick Jim Kelly.
  • Mr. Cousineau himself went on have to a respectable career with the Browns.


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Canadian cardinal creeps quietly onto list of papal possibilities, eh?


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Topless beach pictures of Penelope Cruz


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The best and worst first round NFL picks of all-time. Where have you gone, Tom Cousineau?


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'Monday Night Football' to move to ESPN from ABC. Sunday night game moves from ESPN to NBC : "ABC's venerable 'Monday Night Football' telecast, which ushered in a new era in televised sports more than three decades ago, is moving to ESPN beginning in the 2006 season"


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Candid camera show catches a guy sniffing a bikini


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The list of items you may not take on a plane includes the children's toys called Transformers! (Because they can transform into weapons.) Also, for some unknown reason, they do not permit dynamite as a carry-on item. Go figure.


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Vote Rick James - bitch. I would have voted for him, but he was running against Pedro.


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Rumor: Vinnie Jones will play Juggernaut in X-Men 3


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Sam Mills, Panthers linebackers coach, dies: "Sam Mills, an undersized linebacker who became a Pro Bowl player with New Orleans and Carolina and was later an assistant coach for the Panthers, died Monday after fighting cancer for nearly two years, the Panthers said. He was 45."


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Weekly World News: "BUSH PUSHING TO BE NEXT POPE"


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Jack's License Plate Collection


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Jessica Simpson masters Chicken of the Sea - until she finds a can of Tuna of the Dirt


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Pics of Tim Burton's Corpse Bride


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The Greatest of all Film Critics, Filthy, reviews the Amityville Horror
  • "Why the fuck can't the carpetbaggers just move in and take the good with the bad? I've never complained to our landlord about the lump in the hallway shag that weeps blood when you step on it. It's part of the charm of Casa de Filth."
  • "Ryan Reynolds, a contractor who never, ever has to interrupt his day with a job, and his wife (Melissa George) buy a massive fixer-upper lake house. They know a man murdered his family in it a year earlier. They got such a great deal, though, how could they resist? Man, I know the feeling. I once got an awesome deal on a Craftmatic adjustable bed because it had electrocuted its previous two owners. I sleep in a wetsuit and no problems."



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Borowitz: CARDINALS DEADLOCKED OVER LUNCH ORDER. "That Thai Place" Ruled Out


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A comprehensive summary of the Papal Betting Odds


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Historic Conclave Convenes to Elect a New Pope and sing rockin' Gregorian songs.


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Today in Uncle Scoopy's Guest House - Charmed's Holly Marie Combs topless in A Reason to Believe


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ESPN - 25 great hoaxes, cheats and frauds in sport


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Day 1: The Tom DeLay political deathwatch.


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Captain Electro's Guide To Evil. Quite a funny site!


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Is there still hope for Richard Gere to have a late in life career as a composer? Intelligent MIDI Sequencing with Hamster Control. Submitter wrote: "This is not a joke! Check out the music, it is quite good."


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"What was the song used in that television commercial?" Now you can find the answer at Adtunes.com - the weblog of information on music from TV ads, film trailers, and more.


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Couple bites each other's ring fingers off instead getting engagement rings! (With pictures!)
  • "I put my ring finger in Clive's mouth and he put his ring finger in my mouth with our teeth resting right on the last joint. We looked in each other's eyes, nodded, and bit down as hard as we could. It was a little disappointing because we couldn't actually get all the way through, but we did pop the joint open and tear it a little. We cut the rest, just some skin and the tendon, the normal way."
  • The NORMAL way?


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