Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Alert to new e-mail worm: (I've Got Your E-Mail)


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Fw: Remember Al Bundy's favorite magazine? "Big Uns" -- Naturbusen is the internet version -- bonus: all natural


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Quick, identify the speaker and the subject. "He said in session that he does his own research on the Internet. That is just incredibly outrageous." You can get the answer by highlighting the hidden text which follows: (Speaker: Tom DeLay, Subject: Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy)


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A sneak peek at XXX: State of the Union (Bottom film link on page, under "promo")


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FUCK SERENITY... DALAI LAMA LOSES COOL OVER BRATTY 6-YEAR-OLD. "When the exiled Tibetan spiritual leader went to the snack bar, Tommy Modine followed close behind, continuously tugging at his robe. It was then that the Dalai Lama snapped and told the boy to "go play in traffic!"


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Blogger uses Google Maps to "spy" on the mysterious, forbidden Area 51. Sorta


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Interesting Things to See on Google Satellite Maps. If you want to find your own house, go to maps.google.com, switch the option from "map" to "satellite" and type in your address. You can also zoom in and out.


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This day in Music :: What was the #1 song on the day you were born?, or turned 18, or got married, or any other damned day. Sorry, geezers, it only goes back to 1955 for Yanks and 1952 for Brits.


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RYAN SEACREST'S STAR ON HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME OVERSHADOWS SELECTION OF NEW POPE. New Pope "Bummed" By Bad Timing, Pals Say


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The New York Times Critic's Notebook: Cannes Selection Full of Favorites


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Stephen Colbert - This Week in God


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Jon Stewart discusses Reich's book, 'Reason: Why Liberals Will Win the Battle for America.'


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I don't know anything about this book. But I already like it.




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Ben Affleck to become an acting teacher. I'll try to keep an open mind about this.
  • In baseball, sometimes the worst hitters made the best hitting teachers. Charlie Lau couldn't hit shit. From 1958 to 1961, Lau hit .147, .167, .189, and .194. He was the Affleck of hitting. But Lau was one of the greatest hitting teachers of all time, and his star pupil, George Brett, was a batting wizard who hit as high as .390. Even Lau himself, whose lifetime average was .181 after the 1961 season, managed to creep up to .255 by the time he retired, so you might say he got a .250 average out of .180 talent.
  • And the great acting teacher, Lee Strasberg, was nothing special as an actor, from what I saw of him.
  • So Affleck's acting ability doesn't necessarily predict his ability to teach acting.
  • Now that I've spouted all those measured and fair disclaimers, let me say that I'm still a little skeptical about Ben Affleck Acting School. Sounds to me about as promising as Paul Giamatti's Golf Academy


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Prophecies about the Last 10 Popes by Malachy.
  • Ol' Malachy said this pope would be "The Glory of the Olive". The Order of Saint Benedict has claimed that this pope will come from their ranks because they are also know as Olivetans. Although Cardinal Ratzinger is not a Benedictine, he did take the name Benedict, so I'm going to have to say that Malachy the Prophet is entitled to the highly dreaded "partial credit."


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Cardinals select Ratzinger as the new pope Pope. He will take the name Benedict XVI.
  • Given his age, the cardinals might just want to hang around Rome and catch a few shows before the next conclave.
  • The last time a German was pope, England was still in Saxon hands and its king was Edward the Confessor! Victor II , the pope from 1055 to 1057, came from Swabia (Schwaben), the Black Forest region of Germany. His successor was from Lorraine, so I guess he could be called German, sort of, but he only lasted a year anyway, so the German popes ended either in 1057 or 1058.


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Ed Helms of the Daily Show demonstrates Grand Theft Auto: Vatican City


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Jon Stewart reveals that the first rule of conclave is "do not talk about conclave."


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Woman Accidentally Drives Car Off Parking Garage. The car landed on its nose, the flipped over on its roof, but she walked away with no major injuries.


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Baseball fans! The new issue of Mudville Magazine


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Super hot Vatican webcam action - live. I'm not kidding. You can hook into a live feed of a camera pointed at a chimney! Watch for smoke 24/7. Blue smoke for a boy, pink for ...


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Weird ... Has Johnny Gosch Been Found?
  • Remember Jeff Gannon, the alleged gay escort who got credentials for the Presidential press conferences and lobbed softball questions to President Bush?
  • In 1982, a paperboy named Johnny Gosch was kidnapped in West Des Moines . For years, his disappearance made national headlines. And now, 23 years later investigators are investigating new developments in Johnny’s case. Somehow, the trail seems to lead to ... Jeff Gannon


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This week's limited release movies: House of D - 17% positive reviews. Some very harsh reviews for this film, which was written and directed by David Duchovny:
  • "A cacophony of completely false notes that end in a tear-jerking crescendo."
  • "Awkward and atrocious in equal measure."
  • "The reasons to avoid House of D can best be summarized in a simple declarative sentence. Robin Williams plays a retarded janitor."
  • "It's unfortunate not so much for Duchovny as it is for the viewer, who must endure a cloying, achingly precious coming of age story."
  • "David Duchovny’s misguided House of D is now the barometer I use to judge how bad other films are."


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Charlotte Rampling and David Thewlis have joined the cast of Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction (It takes place in London this time.)


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The Inflatable Granny
  • I'll be honest. I don't know why this Asian site exists. Perhaps some crazy porn thing, perhaps a medical dummy to train nurses ... I don't know, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know either way because it's the element of not knowing that makes it all so weird.


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Porn Bread's time-honored recipe for Bukkake Cookies


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Borowitz: "Five hundred supporters who identified themselves as the posse and ho's of Rep. Tom DeLay (R-Texas) marched on Washington today to voice their support for the embattled House Majority Leader.


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Tom's Official Website announced that Tom Snyder has been diagnosed with leukemia. He made the post personally. Our best wishes go to a man whose voice filled up a lot of our sleepless nights.


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Dustin Hoffman receives gala tribute in New York
  • "After hearing Mike Nichols take some digs at his nose and Robert de Niro joke about his age, Hollywood veteran Dustin Hoffman took to the stage of New York's Lincoln Center and spoke about his sense of failure."
  • I'd say the boy did purty damned good for a failure.


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London marathon winner makes "unscheduled toilet stop at the roadside four miles from the end - which was watched by millions of TV viewers."


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Conan O'Brien's shameful secret revealed.


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Arrest Warrant Issued for 'American Pie' Actress Natasha Lyonne.
  • I don't know what that judge was thinking of. She doesn't have to obey laws, she's a celebrity. Well, she kinda used to be a celebrity. Maybe now that her star has dimmed, she will have to obey a few important laws, but none of those chickenshit ones.


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