Tuesday, May 10, 2005

HOOKED! (1966 Comic Book)


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Reach out and touch someone - of the opposite sex, please. United American Technologies, a 'Christian-based phone carrier' based in Oklahoma, uses an anti-gay sales pitch. The company describes itself as "the only carrier that is taking an active stand against same sex marriages and hardcore child pornography." Their telemarketers verify that "MCI basically has a child pornography ring" ... and don't get me started on "Gay T&T."


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AFI's 100 YEARS OF FILM SCORES. The sidebar also offers many other lists, like 100 years of movie quotes.


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Paula Abdul wasn't happy with the whole SNL experience


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Roger Ebert remembers the highlights of 30 years at Cannes. Great anecdotes, including one whch begins, "There is always the possibility of a riot whenever Jerry Lewis comes to Cannes ..."


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Cracking the Google Code:: "Here's how Google scores your web pages."


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An interview with Bram Cohen, creator of BitTorrent


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Thinking of buying a hybrid car? Oh, you are so Tim Robbins. Anyway, here is the first reliable Mileage Database for Hybrid Electric Vehicles & Cars.


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So what does Kenny Chesney (Renee Zellweger's new husband) look like without his cowboy hat? Well - to tell you the truth, he looks exactly like my accountant, except without the charisma.


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First look at Natalie Portman witha shaved head. (First paragraph. Click on the word "better")


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Man has now brought home a souvenir baseball from 388 consecutive major league games.


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German man tows stranded Polish motorist - at 160km/h . The Polish guy was a little scared, but also proud to have set the Polish land speed record.


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Coach Mike Nolan recently petitioned the NFL to allow him to wear a suit on the sidelines during game days. The league turned Nolan down. Head coaches must wear the NFL-sanctioned team garb, and must be groomed with the NFL-sanctioned Republican haircut.


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32-Year-Old Man Conducts His Own Personal Panty Raid.
  • According to the story, one of the crimes he was charged with was "theft by unlawful taking." His lawyer plea-bargained that down from "theft by lawful taking," which carries a lifetime sentence in Pennsylvania.
  • I love that phrase - not only the redundancy, but also the old-fashioned frosty mug taste of it. "And thy client, brother Samuel, be charged with growing a beard before marriage, theft by unlawful taking, and the possession of butter by unlawful churning. I ask unto thee, how pleadeth he?"


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A new clip from the ensemble drama, Crash


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The trailer and two clips from Brothers.
  • "The lives of two very different brothers become simultaneously intertwined and thrust apart in this intense and powerful Scandinavian drama directed by Susanne Bier."
  • Oh, those clips! And you thought "Raiders of the Lost Ark" was action-packed!



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The trailer for the L.A. streetdancin' documentary, Rize
  • The cast list sums this up so much more eloquently than I possibly could: "Tommy the Clown, Lil Tommy, Mountain Do, Larry, Lil C, Suga Kane, Dragon, Dokta No, Tight Eyez, Baby Tight Eyez, Kermit Z, Miss Prissy, Swoop, Masta Rasta, El Nino, La Nina, Daisy, Lil Abna, Big X, lil x, Quinesha"
  • OK, I admit I made some of those up. Can you guess which ones?
  • I didn't make up "Larry." Larry? Just plain "Larry?" How did he get in there? Some cracker wandered in from Kentucky an' started freaky streetdancin'?


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The Daily Show: Bush and Putin's relations have cooled of late, but it's nothing a little "together time" can't fix.


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Swiss wrap glacier to slow ice melt


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'Louie, Louie' gets the go-ahead. McCord Middle School's marching band got new marching orders Thursday. They will be able to play the song, "Louie, Louie" during the Blossomtime Festival's Grand Floral Parade Saturday. Oh, joy! Oh, rapture!


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This week's movies - very limited release - Layer Cake: 81% positive reviews. This one is specifically targeted at fans of "Snatch" and "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels"


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This week's movies - 1000 screens - Mindhunters -62% positive reviews. A throwaway release for a popcorn movie delayed two years.


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This week's movies - 1800 screens - Unleashed: 50% positive reviews. Written by Luc Besson, starring Jet Li, so you know there will be stylized violence, my droogies!


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This week's movies - 3000+ screens - Monster-in-Law - 20% good reviews.Let's sample these, shall we?
  • "The experience of viewing this movie represents a one-way ticket into tedium and a forced 90-minute imprisonment with Jennifer Lopez and Jane Fonda, both of whom give performances that can charitably be called cringe-inducing."
  • "A deeply dispiriting movie, not just because it is grindingly bad but because Jane Fonda actually chose this for her comeback after a 15-year absence from the screen."
  • "...Jane Fonda probably should have stayed retired (the actress emerged from a 15-year sabbatical for this?)"
  • ... And you should see the negative reviews.



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This week's movies - 3000+ theaters - Kicking and Screaming -100% positive reviews, but only three reviews published. "Will Ferrell is one funny guy." That he is, but the movie appears to be almost identical to Little Giants. We'll see.


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The Weekend Warrior's predictions for the weekend. He's making it "too close to call" between the two 3000 theater releases, Kicking and Screaming (Will Ferrell) and Monster-in-Law (J-Lo and J-Fo). Jet Li's Unleashed is expected to finish a respectable fourth, despite being in only 1800 theaters, and Mindhunters (1000 theaters) will likely be chugging into tenth. Given four new releases, House of Wax is expected to die a painful death.


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'Monty Python's Spamalot' Receives 14 Tony Nominations


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Cate hates botox.
Cate Blanchett has slammed other actresses for using botox. She says it makes her sad that so many young girls feel the need use Botox to stay looking young. I agree. Plastic surgery is so much more efficient.


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David Schwimmer: master thespian and ladies man.


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Asian/Pacific Heritage Month 2005: President's Proclamation Professing Respect for America's Exotic and Peculiar Subculture of Chinese-Flavored Peoples - WHITEHOUSE.ORG


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May 9th (yesterday) was Orgasm Day in Brazil, and today is Cigarette Day. By a weird coincidence, Texas celebrates Ocho de Mayo as Fake Orgasm Day.


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Letterman's "Top Ten Tips For Winning The Kentucky Derby Presented By The Winning Jockey From The 131st Kentucky Derby, Mike Smith"


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Borowitz: "RUMSFELD UPGRADES IRAQ FROM QUAGMIRE TO MORASS"


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Various meditations on the meaning of Bai Ling's tat


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