Friday, May 20, 2005

Balloon Bazooka - the Ultimate Water Balloon Launcher


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Open Call Auditions
  • "True Passion. Honest emotions. Real talent. These are a few of the things you won't find in this movie about several actors auditioning for a role in a local stage production."


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URL says it all except "why" - CryingWhileEating.com


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More than 100 fan films about Star Wars


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Check out the new Louis XIV video for the song Paper Dolls from their 2005 Album, The Best Little Secrets are Kept. (lots o' nudity)


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Japanese Hygienic Nightingale Droppings, the ultimate facial.


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Modern Drunkard Magazine Online - Jackie Gleason


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Guess Which Movie


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The Official Charlie and the Chocolate Factory Film Site has been updated


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It's May 20th - Happy Birthday, Cher. She was born May 20, 1946. By my calculations, that leaves her just 49 years short of 4000 . (Obviously it was 1946 B.C.)


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'Sith' Destroys Best Opening Day and Best Single Day Records!
  • It pulled in $50 million on opening day. The previous record for best opening day was $40 million (Spiderman 2). The previous record for highest day of any kind was $44.7 million (Shrek 2).
  • The other 9 films in the Top 10 grossed four million added together.


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This week's quotables from Late Night with Conan O'Brien
  • "Ozzie Osbourne claims that living in England is too expensive and that it cost him over $100 to fill up his car with gas. The someone explained to Ozzie that he should put the nozzle in the gas tank, not the window."


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After 50 years, the dream of discovery is still alive in Cannes. (A bikini-clad Brigitte Bardot was discovered at a beach in Cannes in 1953)


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You're in luck. You still have a chance to attend the All-Atheist Weekend in San Francisco. The opening ceremony this year will take place, ironically, in a foxhole. I volunteered to offer the prayer for that ceremony, but they turned me down.


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Weekly World News: MOST CHURCH-GOING GUYS ARE PRAYING FOR HOT SEX
  • In a major survey of men who regularly attend church, 94.7 percent of them admit that during the service they are completely preoccupied with thoughts of Salma Hayek nude!


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" ... the greatest beams, lasers, death rays and photon streams in movie history"


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Caring for your pet hippopotamus


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It's Godwin Day for America's Conservatives! Robert Novak compared an offer by Senate Democrats to avert a ban on the use of judicial filibusters with 'going to a concentration camp and picking out which people go to the death chamber.


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Wacky Sen. Rick Santorum is at it again - comparing Democrats attempts to keep the filibuster to Hitler's moves in 1942. Yeah, it's a pretty clear parallel, as you'll see if you read his coldly logical, closely reasoned comments.


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The trailer for Kids in America
  • : "Kids In America is a reality-based dramedy about the experiences of young people in modern-day America. Set in the fictional Booker High School a diverse group of students are tired of seeing their freedoms taken away. They band together and change their world by empowering themselves and their community to protect freedoms of expression and speech."


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Here's the trailer from the indie drama Into the Fire
  • Intense drama, as you can see from thes ephrases:. "The New York City Harbor Patrol ... a jumbo jet crashes on final approach into Kennedy ... our hero's tragic past seeps through his soul ..."


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The trailer for the documentary, My Date With Drew. (Quite an amusing trailer!)
  • "'My Date With Drew' was shot entirely for $1,100 that Brian Herzlinger won on a game show. The production used a camera purchased on credit from Circuit City, and then returned under the store's 30-day refund policy. On his journey to woo Drew Barrymore, Herzlinger consults a psychic for love advice, hires a Drew look-alike to practice his date etiquette and crashes the world premiere of 'Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle' simply to steal a glance at his dream girl. Supporting Herzlinger's quest with anecdotes and advice are several Hollywood insiders who appear as themselves including Eric Roberts, Corey Feldman and 'Charlie's Angels' screenwriter John August."


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Watch the first five minutes of The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse


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Letterman's "Top Ten Signs Your Car Has To Be Recalled"
  • Dealer brags, "This is the car Stephen King owned when he wrote 'Christine'".


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Queens of the Stone Age finally find the one component they were missing for breakthrough success - more cowbell.


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The Filthy Critic's nephew finally makes it to the theater, but still has not seen Sith


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Tom Cruise says he doesn't care what people think of his relationship with Katie Holmes. The microscopic star went on to point out that the same holds true for any relationship he may or may not have with slugging catcher Mike Piazza.


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Naomi Campbell failed to show up at a charity event she organised in Cannes because "her stylist disappeared with her clothes." The supermodel had invited about 50 guests for lunch and a live auction at the French resort's VIP Club to raise money for Nelson Mandela's Children's Foundation. When Campbell didn't turn up the event was abandoned.


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Katie to star opposite Tom in MI3?


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Famous people who died in aviation accidents


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The Lady from Sockhom - the world's first all sock puppet film noir


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Why Google Scares Bill Gates (Fortune Magazine)


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Porn star Mary Carey to Dine with President Bush (I'm assuming that "with" is the correct preposition in this case.)


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Eminem makes a lesbian sex puppet video featuring Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. This will rank as the third-best all-wooden sex scene in the past year, following Team America and Jersey Girl.


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A fake prehistoric rock, featuring art of a caveman with a shopping trolley, lasted three days in the British Museum The hoax was the work of the legendary Banksy the prankster. He must be the same guy who planted those fake WMD reports on Bush's desk.


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Paris Hilton Hack Started With Old-Fashioned Con ... Source Says Hacker Posed as T-Mobile Employee to Get Access to Information


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Ya gotta love The Sun ... Saddam in his underpants.


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After five months in theaters, Million Dollar Baby finally crawls over the $100 million mark. The record for the slowest path to $100 million is held by another Eastwood film, Unforgiven, which took more than ten months.


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Erectile Dysfunction, Viagra, and God's Will


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Scott McClellan Directs Newsweek Magazine to Cease and Desist Infringing President Bush's Patent for the Mass Enragement of Muslamian Religious Wackos - (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)


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Dishes at the Espitas restaurant in Dresden include maggot ice cream, maggot salads and maggot cocktails.


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Vodka Luge Ice Carving. 'Drinking's never been so much fun'. Also check out the male and female luges.


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A site dedicated entirely to dogshit in Amsterdam. No catshit in Amsterdam. No dogshit in The Hague or Rotterdam. Just dogshit in Amsterdam.


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The Worst of Budapest


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Welcome To The Club 33 Tour Page! "If you are here, it is probably because you are not a Club 33 Member or have never been lucky enough to visit this exclusive private club in Disneyland, California."


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Jennifer Connelly in Dark Water. Yes, that describes the picture, and also reflects the name of the movie.


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NJ Theater Plays Sith in Chinese. When contacted for an explanation, the theater owner replied, "Hey, Chinese dis (grabs crotch)! You want yer fokkin Chinese? I got it right here for ya (grabs crotch)."


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Topher Grace has been signed for Spider Man 3, although nobody seems to know why.


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The famous Wendy's finger was used as repayment of a debt.


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Conan O'Brien welcomes back his former sidekick Andy Richter to look far into the future - all the way to the year 2000.
  • "There will be yet another spin-off of 'The Apprentice.' This time featuring O.J. Simpson and his signature catch phrase, 'You're Murdered.'"


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A rare display of the Northern Lights as far south as Iowa. I guess that would technically make them the Midwestern Lights.


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Here's the trailer for The Island, July's big budget sci-fi actioner with Obi-Wan and Scarlett Johansson.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Saw this trailer in front of ROTS... what's going on here?!? It uses a bunch of imagery and (apparently) themes from the Matrix. So much so that it seems obvious. What were they thinking?

 

Liz Hurley makes a dramatic comeback from retirement. Damn, she's been gone so long I had almost forgotten her. Those of you old enough to remember her will dimly recall that she once retired to spend more time with her son. Of course, she only stayed retired for twenty days, but it was quality time, and what a glorious score of child-rearing days it was!


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Judge bars Larry King from testifying for Jackson. I don't know if that is the correct legal decision, but you have to admire the man's good taste.


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