Tuesday, May 24, 2005

New computer virus locks up your files with an encryption routine, then demands a ransom to unlock them!


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Teri Hatcher's famous appearance on Seinfeld. "They're real ... and they're spectacular."


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Weekly World News: "HEY KIDS, IT'S SAUDI DOODY TIME! ... OUTRAGE: Arab TV turns Howdy Doody into sick children's show
  • "Saudi Doody's host is Camel Bob Salaam -- a terrorist wearing a black hood and toting an AK-47."


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Spector workin' hard on that insanity plea with his famous Wall of Hair.


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Watchdog group slams cheap, attention-grabbing technique of using 'soft porn' Paris Hilton ad to sell burgers.
  • I don't actually know if these people had anything worthwhile to say. The article didn't grab my attention because their spokeswoman was fully clothed.


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Why do cartoon characters only have three fingers?


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New pictures from Into the Blue (Jessica Alba, minimal clothing)


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Here is the trailer for Pure, an obscure three year old film which has been dug out of the vaults because it stars Keira Knightley.


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English Bookmakers call off bets based on Potter leak
  • The bookies were taking bets on which character would die in the next Potter book, until a rash of bets started to come in - all from the town where the book is being printed.
  • It seems that the dead character will be Harry himself. He is to die from injuries sustained while being sodomized by Dumbledore. Who would have guessed?


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Post-modernism comes to courtroom re-enactments. Jimmy Kimmel to play Jay Leno in the E! re-enactment of Jacko's ordeal.


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The trailer for Dave Barry's Guide to Guys


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The trailer from The Descent, a new horror film from the UK.
  • In a remote mountain range, six girlfriends meet for their yearly adventure, a caving trip into the arteries of the earth. The group makes their way through the remote cave system, enjoying the hazardous but beautiful surroundings. Then, deep inside the cave, disaster strikes when their route back to the surface is blocked by a rockfall. When they learn that Juno, always pushing herself that little bit further, has brought them to an unexplored cave, and that no one is coming to rescue them, the group starts to splinter. Left with no other option, they push on through the cave, praying for another exit. The women battle through this harsh underground world, pitting their strength and determination against each new challenge. Unbeknownst to them, there is something else lurking under the earth, a race of monstrous creatures hidden from the light, evolved to live perfectly in the dark. As the friends realize they have become prey, they are forced to unleash their most primal instincts to face the creatures. As old wounds break open and loyalties disintegrate, the women realize the horrible truth-they have most to fear from one another.



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The trailer from Akeelah and the Bee
  • "A heart-warming, triumph-over adversity drama, 'Akeelah and the Bee' centers on a precocious eleven-year-old girl, Akeelah Anderson (Keke Palmer), from south Los Angeles, who is discovered to have a talent for words. In spite of the objections of her mother Wanda (Angela Bassett), Keke enters a spelling contest. Her gift takes her to compete in the National Spelling Bee, the most famous competition of its kind in the world. On the way, she is helped by a forthright, mysterious teacher, Dr. Larabee (Laurence Fishburne) and a cast of colorful characters from the community. Her journey evokes pride in the neighborhood, bringing them together and, in the end, all witness the courage and inspiration of one amazing little girl."


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Three new TV spots (bottom of page, #7,#8, and #9) for BATMAN BEGINS


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Teri Hatcher: Teri Hatcher Will Strip For Playboy - if they'll really pony up $10 Million
  • Or Hef could just pony up four bucks and rent Heaven's Prisoners, and see her naked and nine years younger.
  • According to IMDb, Hatcher broke into filmed showbiz as Amy the Love Boat Mermaid. She was one of several Love Boat Mermaids listed in the 1985-86 cast - including, surprisingly enough, former Tonight Show bandleader Lyle "Skitch" Henderson.
  • OK, I might have made up the bit about Skitch. Did you know he is still alive?


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Ernest T. Bass dead at 85 . Howard Morris was a lot like Ken Mars and Hamilton Camp - guys who never became household names, but were some of the the great comic support players of their times. Mars and Camp were a half-generation behind, are still alive and working, and not even that old. (Franz Liebkind was Mars's first movie role. What a start!! "You mean Schpringtime for ... you know who?")


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URL says it all: Heartless-Bitches.com


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The best Lego Nerd project ever!!! (Spider-Man 2 recreated in Legos.) I can't begin to imagine how many man-hours of work went into this.


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Tricky baseball rules come into play in this video ... A pitch crosses the plate, hits the dirt, takes a wild bounce, and lands in the breast pocket of the umpire. The runner from third scores as the catcher frantically searches for the ball. Does the run count?


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A photographer has come under fire in China for his spectacular pictures of a man falling off a bicycle.
  • His critics said, "You knew there was a hole there. You should have warned the man in the picture instead of standing by the hole, waiting to take pictures."
  • The photographer responded that he could not stand by the hole 24/7 to warn every potential victim but he could take pictures to convince people that the hole should be paved, and thus save all future victims. (In fact, he was right. His pictures resulted in the hole being fixed.)


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Renee Zellweger immortalized with star on Hollywood Walk of Fame. She said that she was "dumbfounded" to get the coveted spot between Corey Feldman and Francis the Talking Mule


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The Sith Hits the Fans in the UK as well.
  • It set the weekend record in the UK, and performed almost as well in France. It was a hair lower in Germany, but of course in Germany they root for the Sith, so they see it as a light-hearted adventure story with a happy ending, and they view that "Imperial March" as a sappy love ballad.
  • Actually, all kidding aside, it kicked ass in Germany, where it took in 85% of the total box office. That was actually better than the UK, where it "only" took in about 70%.
  • But what is mind-boggling about the UK numbers is the fact that Sith was only showing on 490 screens - that's $41,000 per screen! It only took in $29,000 per screen in the USA over the same period.


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You say your undergrad degree is from West Point, with a Ph. D. from Harvard? Well, forget the job you want because you're up against me, and I went to Trump University. And not only that, but our football team can kick your asses as well, although a lot of people laugh at our Trump Helmets. Oops, wait a minute. We're not wearing helmets.


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Forget the Oscars and Emmys. here are the annual PHALLIC LOGO AWARDS


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This week's movies (750 sneak previews) Cinderella Man - only four reviews, three of which are positive. However, two of the positives are simply ecstatic about it. Variety said: "An exquisite ode to a working-class hero, Cinderella Man takes the almost impossibly perfect elements of the saga of underdog boxer James J. Braddock and fills it with emotional gravitas, wrenching danger and a panoramic sense of American life during the Great Depression. "


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This week's movies: The Longest Yard - only five reviews, but four of them are positive!


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This week's movies: Madagascar - 44% positive reviews. (None of the negative reviews really hated it.)


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The Weekend Warrior looks at the upcoming Memorial Day weekend. He thinks Sith will hold the #1 spot, with Madagascar coming close, and The Longest Yard also opening big.


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Trump Makes Light of TV Movie About Him


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Stupidest family in California wraps house in aluminum to protect themselves from top-secret radiation bombardment. Personally, I like the new look of the governor's mansion.


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Good news! The Shadow Dextrous Hand is now available for purchase.


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Free Vibrating Condoms. I am such a schmuck. I've been paying full retail for my vibrating condoms.


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There's good news and bad news for you teachers in Louisiana. The good news? You will now get a big chunk of the tax on cigarettes. The bad news? At the same time, the legislature is going to ban smoking.


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GOOGLE is now valued at $71 billion - about equal to General Motors and Disney added together.


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Three Sisters pregnant at 12, 14 and 16. So what does their mother do? She blames the school


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Dioramas on nude bodies. Beautifully rendered.


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Here's a tip for you youngsters. You can't make a light saber from a flourescent light tube filled with gasoline.


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Darth Vader says he's considering giving up acting to become an architect.
  • Oh, no! He was showing such promise.
  • "Well, I have experience designing a Death Star"
  • Wait! In order to give something up, don't you actually have to do it first?


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Gwyneth Paltrow has been named as the new face of Estee Lauder. Gwyneth Paltrow? I thought she died.


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Paris Hilton's spicy burger ad sparks controversy. It pissed me off too. She should have been naked.


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Light saber dildo. Return of the Jed One-Eye.


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Wing-suit test - skydiving without a parachute . (With video)


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Ricky Williams - prospects for a comeback


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RIP - Tony the Tiger None of the obits of the famous bass are all that Greeeeaaaattt! so this link goes to ALL THINGS THURL: "The only web site devoted to the life and work of Thurl Ravenscroft." I didn't know that Ravenscroft originally was a member of the Mellomen. They are the corny back up singers who often appear behind singers like Elvis and Der Bingle. I guarantee you will recognize his voice. Here he is singing "Big Paul Bunyan".


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Check out the facial expression on Laura Bush


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Anonymous Sparks said...

"Wait'll they get a load of me...."

 

People may fault Tom Cruise for many things, but lack of enthusiasm is not one of them. He has Olivier's energy and passion. If only he could get his voice dubbed by James Earl Jones.


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Mary-Kate Olson is starting to look positively mammoth!


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The teasers and trailer for Chicken Little, an animated Disney film based on the familiar children's story about the sky falling (or not).


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The trailer for The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, which was directed by the gruff but intelligent Tommy Lee Jones, and won Tommy Lee a "best actor" citation at Cannes.


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The trailer from Chromophobia, directed by one Fiennes, starring another.
  • "This darkly comedic drama relentlessly pulls these characters into situations which threaten their stable place in a society where privilege and birth are no longer powerful enough to protect the fortunate few, and where the American values of money, beauty and success have become the cornerstones of contemporary London life."


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Twelve clips of Russell Crowe as Cinderella Man Jim Braddock


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Three new clips from War of the Worlds


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A dozen clips from the Adam Sandler remake of The Longest Yard


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