Friday, May 27, 2005

Did Jolie have sex with Pitt? She says, "Absolutely not!"


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DNA tests will determine if James Carville is related to Bat Boy. The pictures cinch it for me.


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Experiments in Galvanism: Frog with Implanted Webserver


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Watercolor illustrations of characters from Lovecraft stories.


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Good news for you nutbars! "Spaceships Will Appear Over Las Vegas On My Signal" ... "For only 45 days, starting June 1st until July 15, 2005, Prophet Yahweh, Seer of Yahweh, will be calling down UFOs and spaceships for the news media to film and photograph"


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URL says it all: StuffOnMyCat.com


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Odd, but compelling concept: PHOTOS OF AN UNKNOWN FAMILY WHO PROBABLY OWNED A LIQUOR STORE


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The original script for Sex, Lies, and Videotape


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The Straight Dope: Was Ludwig van Beethoven of African ancestry?


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Slurpee lover films people getting brain freeze: thebrainfreeze.com


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JoBlo.com's Cannes Wrap-Up


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The organizers of a memorial service for writer Hunter S Thompson are to build a 150 foot-high tower from which to fire his ashes. Actor Johnny Depp will pay for the tower to be built for the service, set to take place on August 20.


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URL says it all: BeerChurch.com


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H.S. Yearbook Publishes Assassination 'Joke.' Student chosen "most likely to assassinate Bush." (Anybody know what it says in Lee Harvey Oswald's book?)


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Eddie Albert, pictured here with his most famous co-stars, bids good bye to city life, aged 99


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Three "caught on video" clips for Stealth.
  • Columbia Pictures' "Stealth" is an epic action thriller about a squadron of elite pilots who embark on a mission of global consequence to neutralize an out-of-control prototype drone fighter plane equipped with artificial intelligence and the ability to precipitate a nuclear war.


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Watch the first six minutes of Mad Hot Ballroom. Official blurb for this documentary:
  • "Eleven-year-old New York City public school kids journey into the world of ballroom dancing and reveal pieces of themselves and their world along the way. Told from their candid, sometimes hilarious perspectives, these kids are transformed, from reluctant participants to determined competitors, from typical urban kids to "ladies and gentlemen", on their way to try to compete in the final city-wide competition. Providing unique insight into the incredible cultural diversity that is New York City, this film profiles several kids from three schools (out of 60) at this dynamic age, when becoming that "cool" teenager vies for position with familiar innocence, while they learn the Merengue, Rumba, Tango, Foxtrot and Swing."


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|| Fantastic Four || - International Trailer Don't know if the script is any good, but some great special effects!


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Both sides close their cases in Jacko trial.


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Paul Bettany joins the Da Vinci code as the villainous albino.


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National Treasure kicks ass in the video rental market. It held off the new releases yet again, to top the DVD rental charts for the third straight week.


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Lost in Translation - enter a phrase and the program translates it in and out of five languages, then back into English
  • I entered Hemingway's famous phrase "No one has explained what the leopard was seeking at that altitude."
  • The result was actually not as bad as I was hoping! "Nobody explained, of which what in the leopard to this height observed."


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Mariah Makes a Move on Elvis and the Beatles. She now has 16 number one hits. The article says that only the Beatles and Elvis have had more, making her the most successful female performer of all time. I don't believe that summary is entirely fair, because it requires us to treat Diana Ross's two careers as two separate acts. Diana had twelve number one hits with The Supremes, and then six more as a solo artist, giving her 18 altogether. I guess it would be fair to call Mariah the most successful female SOLO performer.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

To give Mariah more credit, she wrote or co-wrote most of her hits.

 

Cosmetics-peddling giant Mary Kay is pulling out of a planned ad buy on Desperate Housewives following criticism from a conservative Christian group.


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Anonymous KGB said...

<<"The show is not consistent with our core values, which focus on operating with integrity and trust in all we do," Tyson spokesman Gary Michaelson said...

The trade magazine Advertising Age reported the asking price for a 30-second spot on Desperate Housewives jumped from an initial $150,000 to $300,000 once the show became a runaway hit. >>

So it's a runaway hit? Then whose
"core values" does it represent,
anyway?

 

More Northern news. Finland may be out of toilet paper, but that pales in importance when you realize that Denmark fears running out of sperm. "Tax may drain world's top sperm bank"


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Will Finland soon be out of toilet paper?


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Conan O'Brien goes for a drive in his desk


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"2 Imperial Japanese Army soldiers believed found in Philippines"


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Libraries turn the page, many want to axe videos
  • "A library is dedicated to the pursuit of truth. A library is for increasing our knowledge"
  • How do they expect our kids to learn when they are renting the filmed versions of The Hunt for Red October and Jackie Collins novels instead of reading the book versions. I agree. When I was a boy and wanted ro read junk novels and pornography, I would get it from my library in printed form instead of this fancy-schmancy digital stuff!
  • Oops. I forgot. When I was a boy the only library was in Alexandria, and it only had papyrus scrolls. But you know what I mean. When they first started replacing those papyrus scrolls with those damned new-fangled bound books, we sure put up a stink, by cracky, and we did a damned good job of keeping those infernal books out of our children's hands until that stinkin' Renaissance came along and spoiled everything. Damn, I miss the Dark Ages. We really knew how to party back then. It's amazing how much fun you can have with some baby pigs, a barrel of mead, and a trebuchet.


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Bring back those glory days at Trebuchet.com, "Dedicated to the art of hurling."
  • I had a college roommate who had that same dedication.


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If ever there was a news story waiting to become a TV movie, it's The Super-rats of Thousand Oaks, California


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An Indianapolis father is appealing a Marion County judge's unusual order that prohibits him and his ex-wife from exposing their child to 'non-mainstream religious beliefs and rituals.'" Even more disturbing is the fact that the judge does not define exactly what he means by mainstream. The parents are Wiccans.


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Borowitz: "TOM CRUISE DECLARES LOVE FOR KATIE HOLMES ON AL-JAZEERA"
  • "Elsewhere, the Department of Homeland Security announced that it would replace its color-coded terror alert system with a Magic Eight Ball."


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Astronomy Pic o' the Day - Titan's Odd Spot


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House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is upset that a popular NBC crime drama used his name as part of its show. The producer's response, "I congratulate Congressman DeLay for switching the spotlight from his own problems to an episode of a television show."


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The French trailer from The Gathering, a new thriller starring Christina Ricci
  • "A drifter named Cassie (Ricci)is hit by a car while going to the town of Ashby Wake and ends up losing her memory, but the woman who hit her offers to take her in. At the old house, Cassie begins to have visions, as she learns that there may be more connections between her and the strange town than she remembers."


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A clip from Bewitched. Oh, boy! If this is a highlight, that film is in deep doo-doo.


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The trailer for a new DreamWorks film, Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story
  • Kurt Russell, Dakota Fanning, and Kris Kristofferson star in a drama about a father who, for the love of his daughter, sacrifices almost everything to save the life of an injured racehorse and bring the promising filly back to her former glory.
  • Am I mistaken, or did Kurt Russell used to be a cool guy? What happened to Snake Plisskin, and the funny guy from Used Cars?
  • Russell and the ubiquitous Fanning play the father and daughter. In an acting tour de force that challenges Jamie Foxx's performance as Ray, Kris Kristofferson earns a sure-fire Oscar nomination as the broken-down horse.


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The trailer for Four Brothers, John Singleton's new movie, starring Andre 3000 and other numbered individuals.


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The trailer for McLibel. Unique zero-budget documentary film shot over a ten year period about the legal struggle between McDonald's and two working class citizens in the UK. (McDonald's liked to use the English libel laws to stifle criticism.)


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Three clips from the big screen version of The Honeymooners, which fratures Cedric the Entertainer as Ralph the Bus Driver.


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Coming Soon has added the domestic and international trailers for The Island (Summer sci-fi would be blockbuster starring Obi-Wan and Scarlett Johansson.)


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Stairway to Heaven (and other songs) Backwards


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Roger Ebert reviews The Longest Yard. The review is really not about the movie, but about the fact that Ebert gave the film a lukewarm thumbs up on his video program, and is now regretting it. He has some bon mots. Here are three of his comments.
  • There is a sense in which attacking this movie is like kicking a dog for not being better at calculus.
  • Once you accept Sandler as a quarterback, you've opened up the backfield to the entire membership of the Screen Actors' Guild.
  • If you can get to "Crash," that is the movie you must see, and you should immediately drop any thought of seeing anything else instead.


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Get your name in Katakana or Kanji Hell, I don't know if it is really doing my name, but it's a cool idea. I told the translator my name was Scoopy Scoopy. (Having worked in Tokyo briefly, I just knew it would have no prayer with "Greg.") When I clicked on the pronunciation, it did say something like Soo-Koo-Pee, so I guess that could be the Japanese equivalent of Scoopy.


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Some of the reviewers at Amazon are tremendously witty, and expend a great deal of time writing funny and completely bogus reviews of products they have never used. Sometimes they don't even know what the products are really used for, but that doesn't keep them from imagining some clever purposes! Here is one of Amazon.com's best reviewers. For a good start, check out her review of "Model 1800 Belly Chains Nickel"


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England seeks to ban pointed sticks. Python fans protest. Of course I exaggerated. In reality, doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives.


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Here is one nipple-slip you DON'T want to see. Sad. The formerly ripe Eva Herzigova is now completely anorexic. I was wondering where she disappeared to. She almost disappeared entirely.


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Describing this video, the submitter says: "Hilarious. Imagine the Beastie Boys as fat chicks who can't rap"


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Finally: the first trailer for 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'


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The full trailer for War Of The Worlds


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