Wednesday, June 08, 2005

KILL BILL director Quentin Tarantino has reportedly signed up to bring Eddie Murphy back as Beverly Hills Cop legend Axel Foley.


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Nine clips from Rebound. (Martin Lawrence as a big-time college coach who has a meltdown and ends up coaching junior high.)


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URL says it all: BlackSheepAncestors.com


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URL says it all: EntrancesToHell.com


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Other Crap is proud to do its part for humanity with this public service announcement: Vibrating thongs may be dangerous.


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Black Music Month 2005: President Bush's Remarks (Parody from Whitehouse.org)


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Weekly World News:HOW TO MAKE CHICKS THINK YOU'RE LOADED


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Letterman's Top Ten Signs You Are Headed For Summer School. "You identify more than half of the state capitals as 'Funkytown.'"


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Six Clips from The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D


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The Daily Show looks at the Supreme Court Medical Marijuana Decision


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Jon Stewart's interview with Steven Johnson. The author discusses his book, 'Everything Bad is Good for You.' (This is the guy who claims that popular culture is making us smarter.)


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The Daily Show's Ed Helms revisits the "smoker's Oscar Schindler."


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The Daily Show's Stephen Colbert tours an Abu crib that puts the 'phat' in fatwa.


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Teri Hatcher has won two awards at this year's Glamour Women of the Year awards.


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Russell Crowe says he lost it because of "the combination of jet lag, loneliness and adrenalin"


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Here are the pictures from Mr Spocks's new book. (As The Sun pointed out the other day, he is now specializing in Big Beautiful Woman.)


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Based on stock market value, Google is now the largest media corporation in the world.


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Is it possible to do threesomes within a Christian Marriage? Now this is the kind of theology I like! The same site also has an essay on "anal sex in accordance with God's will."
  • My interpretation of the Revised Standard Bible is that you can only have anal sex with people you do not like. I cite Joshua 10:19, where it is written, "pursue your enemies, fall upon their rear."


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This week's movies: Mr. and Mrs. Smith - 67% positive reviews.
  • This is the would-be blockbuster for the week. Pitt and Jolie are teamed as husband-and-wife assassins trying to kill one another.
  • Based on the early reviews, there is a big gap between the perception of the main critics and the minor ones. The big guys are standing at 20% positive, questioning the illogical premise (The New Yorker) and the weak conclusion (The Village Voice). The other critics are coming in at 80% positive, defending the film as a fun comedy that delivers the requisite number of laughs.
  • Pretty much everyone says that Vince Vaughn is entertaining as the best friend.


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This week's movies: High Tension - 67% positive reviews. French entry in the splatter/horror genre which had drawn such accolades as "haunting", "remarkable twist ending", and (my own personal favorite) "a gorehound's delight."


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This week's movies: The Honeymooners - not enough reviews for a score. The film has been kept a secret from reviewers. That is not likely to be a positive omen.


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This week's movies: The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D - 33% positive reviews. A family film has come up in the Robert Rodriguez rotation again. The bad reviews aren't that bad, and the good reviews aren't that good. The basic consensus is: OK, but nothin' special.


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The Weekend Warrior's projections for this weekend. It's a very crowded field this week because the four major carry-overs are joined by four new releases, and two additional carry-overs will tarry on 2500 or more screens. The new entries: Mr and Mrs Smith (3200 screens), Shark Boy (2750), Honeymooners (2000), High Tension (1300). Warrior thinks Pitt and Jolie will rule them all with a box close to $40 million. Second place could go to any of five different films.


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The trailer for Lila Says
  • "Lila Says is based on a book that caused much controversy in France. Nineteen-year-old quiet poet Chimo (Mohammed Khouas) falls for Lila (Vahina Giacante), a gorgeous, blonde girl who just moved in with her creepy aunt in an Arab ghetto. One day Lila asks Chimo to look up her skirt -- if he can handle it. Meanwhile, Mouloud (Karim Benhadou), the loud leader of a rival gang, also sets his sights on Lila. Their game of sexual discovery leads to an unexpected look at tolerance, self-hatred, and machismo. It also questions the fantasy that permeates the film with fun and danger."


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The trailer for The Beat That My Heart Skipped
  • "In this follow-up to his critical smash 'Read My Lips,' Jacques Audiard has adapted and updated James Toback's cult 1978 noir 'Fingers' to come up with this memorable character study about a young man torn between a life of crime and classical music. 'The Beat That My Heart Skipped' premiered at Berlin 2005, where it played to enthusiastic audiences and won the Silver Bear for Best Score. Romain Duris ('L'Auberge Espagnol'), in a standout performance, portrays the 28 year-old Tom who seems destined to follow in his father's footsteps as a Parisian property shark working in a sleazy and sometimes brutal milieu. However, a chance encounter with his late mother's music agent rekindles a desire for a musical career and hope for a better life. Like 'Read My Lips,' Audiard has fused two unlikely worlds into a stunning vision featuring a menacing and dangerous Paris rarely seen on screen."


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Jon Stewart turns Gingrich into a Newt. (He didn't get better.)


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The Daily Show's "This Week in God"


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The Daily Show: "The E.U. is apparently not as 'U' as some 'E's hoped it would be."


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Senior Daily Show Jackologist Ed Helms reports on the attacko Jacko had on his backo.


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Taxi! Cubans Hail Ride To Florida In Converted Cab


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Anonymous Sparks said...

I say anybody with that kind of creativity and skill should be allowed to stay. Same goes for those guys who turned the old pickup into a boat some time back.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, hell! One of them was actually on the pickup?!? Let 'em stay already. We need people with that kind of persistence.

 

York hospital "has come up with an unusual remedy for an outbreak of violence and verbal abuse on staff - cardboard cut-out police officers." How long before the evildoers discover scissors?


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"There is a genetic basis to female orgasm." This is a spin-off of the commonly-held belief that you are less likely to have children if your parents did not.


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Paris Hilton flashes on European TV


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Gold Ringed Burberry Condoms


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Man With Blood-Stained Chainsaw Allowed to Enter U.S.


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Virtual Lite-Brite


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Something Awful picks the most overrated albums of all time


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RUSSELL CROWE INCIDENT BRINGS RENEWED CALL FOR PHONE CONTROL ... Phone-control Activists March on Washington
  • Davis Brogan, a powerful pro-phone lobbyist in Washington, held a press conference to deliver what he called an important message to Congress: “The fact is, phones don’t cut hotel desk clerks below the eye – Russell Crowe cuts hotel desk clerks below the eye.”


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"Almost a catfight," says Page Six, between Lohan and the Simpson sisters.
  • Lohan is upset at Ashlee Simpson for 'stealing' her ex-boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama, last year. Simpson's sister Jessica was heard to say at another party later, "That [bleep]. If she comes here, I will kick her ass!"
  • (Don't you love how bleeping makes it seem even worse than it probably was? I suppose she said the almost-acceptable B-word, but as I read that, my mind automatically inserted the rather harsh C-word.)
  • As it turns out, they did run into one another again that night.
  • Jessica was furious because she says she "is a star and should be let in everywhere." (Invoking the Divine Right of Celebrities)
  • "She (Jessica) was screaming how she was going to kick her butt, and had to be separated from Lindsay." I just have one question. Who are the dumb fucks who separated these girls when they wanted to fight? I say let those bims get it on, and make sure the photogs have a good camera angle.


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Anonymous Caersars Ghost said...

Lohan is a goddess

 

Peta Chicks get naked and impersonate meat. And you just can't beat that.


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Pedro is back to his old self this season. Two hit complete game, 12Ks, now 7-1.


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Officer shoots man for painting "Police Academy Seven" on a pick-up truck.


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I did NOT make this up: British student arrested for calling a police horse "gay"


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