Sunday, June 12, 2005

Update on the Indiana Jones 4 Script


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"Actresses wearing fake prosthetic breasts"


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good. I hate those real prosthetic ones.

 

Two guys decide to walk through the African savannah in a zebra costume


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The Daily Show's Rob Corddry's explosive investigation is a dark tale of public feline urination, hush money, and meows of outrage.


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TIME.com: Inside the Wire at Gitmo. It turns out that the days when they flushed the Koran were the good days. Political prisoners were tortured with satirical puppet shows and Christina Aguilera music!
  • I was sympathetic to the torturers before I read this. After all, the prisoners are homicidal terrorist lunatics who want to destroy civilization, so they should expect to get a Buick hot-wired to their 'nads from time to time. But no humans, no matter how depraved, no matter how far they have strayed from human decency, should have to endure Christina Aguilera music.
  • Let me be the first to call to close Gitmo down and move the prisoners somewhere else - presumably someplace secret, where we can get some decent torturing done out of the sight of Time Magazine and Amnesty International.


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Mr and Mrs Smith assassinate the competition at the weekend box office - June 10-12, 2005
  • Because Brangelina finished eleven million above expectations, and the total weekly box office is somewhat fixed, carry-overs did worse than expected, and two of the new releases bombed as well
  • The only carry-over to hold up against expectations was Star Wars.
  • The biggest losers of the weekend were (1) A new release named High Tension, which was virtually ignored despite a lot of love from some genre reviewers; (2) The "prestige" carry-over, Cinderella Man, which underperformed its modest expectations and dropped about 50%; and (3) The Honeymooners, another new release, which underperformed substantially.
  • To be more accurate, the total box office is not completely fixed. Adding the overs and unders is not precisely a zero-sum game, although it comes close. Because The Smiths kicked ass, the nine films listed below amassed five million more than their cumulative projection. That was not enough, however, to drag the weekend's total above last year.


TitleWarrior PredictionActualDiff %
Mr and Mrs Smith$39.5$51.0+29
Madagascar$17.5$17.1-2
The Longest Yard$14.3$13.5-6
Star Wars: Episode III$13.1$14.914
Cinderella Man$12.3$9.5-23
Shark Boy and Lava Girl$11.3$12.511
The Honeymooners$8.0$5.8-28
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants$6.1$5.7-7
High Tension$4.4$1.8-59


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Pink Floyd to Reunite for Live 8 Concert


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URL says it all: TVShowsOnDVD.com


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URL says it all: BozkovaStranka.com
  • Oh, man, I love that song. Sing along with me. "Una bozkova stranka ... I'm just a bird in the sky ..."
  • Just kidding. For those of you who need to sharpen up your Czech, I think it means "nekkid Czech Czichs covered with body paint"


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Here's a trailer for the dark teen comedy Pretty Persuasion
  • Here's the blurb: "The new independent film PRETTY PERSUASION accomplishes the nearly impossible feat of making the lives of privileged teenaged girls into the stuff of sophisticated comedy, featuring a star-making lead performance by one of today's most exciting young actresses, Evan Rachel Wood (THIRTEEN, UPSIDE OF ANGER). Wood plays Kimberly Joyce, an insanely intelligent, wildly funny, shockingly cruel and sexy-beyond-her-years Beverly Hills teenager who will stop at nothing to become famous. Believing the world is an orchestra and she is the conductor, Kimberly masterfully manipulates all those around her. She convinces her two best friends to join her in a campaign against their befuddled teacher, Mr. Anderson, played to nebbishy perfection by Ron Livingston (ADAPTATION, OFFICE SPACE). Kimberly entangles the entire Beverly Hills community in her carefully woven web of seduction and deceit. A clever comedy with many turns, PRETTY PERSUASION has an ending that nobody but Kimberly can predict! Wood leads an all-star cast that also includes James Woods, Elisabeth Harnois, Jane Krakowski, Jaime King and Selma Blair. It is the directorial debut of acclaimed music video director Marcos Siega, and written by Skander Halim."



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Russell Crowe's hotel tantrum has cost him a dinner date with the Bushes and a sleepover at the White House.
  • Instead, he will attend a Giants game at Pac Bell Park, where he will throw out the ceremonial first phone


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good line!

 

FilmJerk's indispensible Early Report for June 12


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Eight clips from Bewitched. The clip "I want three trailers" is worth a look. Will Ferrell is making all kinds of celebrity diva demands, some of which are very funny.


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Nine clips from Batman Begins


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Here's the trailer for Red Eye
  • "From director Wes Craven (the 'Scream' franchise) comes 'Red-Eye,' a suspense thriller at 30,000 feet. Lisa Reisert (Rachel McAdams) hates to fly, but the terror that awaits her on the night flight to Miami has nothing to do with a fear of flying. Moments after takeoff, Lisa's seatmate, Jackson (Cillian Murphy), menacingly reveals the real reason he's on board: He is an operative in a plot to kill a rich and powerful businessman... and Lisa is the key to its success. If she refuses to cooperate, her own father will be killed by an assassin awaiting a call from Jackson. Trapped within the confines of a jet at 30,000 feet, Lisa has nowhere to run and no way to summon help without endangering her father, her fellow passengers and her own life. As the miles tick by, Lisa knows she is running out of time as she desperately looks for a way to thwart her ruthless captor and stop a terrible murder."


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Here's the trailer for Roman Polanski's OLIVER TWIST, starring Gandhi as Fagin.
  • Here's the blurb: "Following their Academy-Award winning film, The Pianist, director Roman Polanski and writer Ronal Harwood re-imagine Charles Dickens' classic story of a young orphan boy who gets involved with a gang of pickpockets in 19th Century London. Abandoned at an early age, Oliver Twist (Barney Clark) is forced to live in a workhouse lorded over by the awful Mr. Bumble, who cheats the boys of their meager rations. Desperate yet determined, Oliver makes his escape to the streets of London. Penniless and alone, he is lured into a world of crime by the sinister Fagin - the mastermind of a gang of pint-sized pickpockets. Oliver's rescue by the kindly Mr. Brownlow is only the beginning of a series of adventures that lead him to the promise of a better life."


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The trailer for Terrence Malick's latest, The New World, starring Colin Farrell
  • It is a spectacularly beautiful film, as you would expect from Malick. Let us hope that it is missing some of the negatives you might also expect from Malick. Pretentiousness, for example.
  • Here's the blurb: "'The New World' is an epic adventure set amid the encounter of European and Native American cultures during the founding of the Jamestown Settlement in 1607. Inspired by the legend of John Smith (Farrell) and Pocahontas, acclaimed filmmaker Terrence Malick transforms this classic story into a sweeping exploration of love, loss and discovery, both a celebration and an elegy of the America that was - and the America that was yet to come. Against a historically accurate Virginia backdrop, Malick has set a dramatized tale of two strong-willed characters-a passionate and noble young native woman and an ambitious soldier of fortune-torn between the undeniable requirements of their civic duty and the inescapable demands of the human heart."


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