Thursday, June 30, 2005

Irony and ivory work together in perfect harmony. Ivory poacher smothered in elephant shit. This would be a great story ... if it WAS a story and not the imagination of Weekly World News.


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The Mighty Thor shows how to roll a joint. Thor a doper? I think not. Loki maybe.


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A house made entirely of books. Except the toilet paper - that's made of stucco.


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The Smoking Gun: Author Terry McMillan's messy divorce action pretty much boils down to her contention that she unknowingly got her groove back with a scheming gay guy. The guy, in his response, says Terry tricked him into thinking she was Liza Minnelli.


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Mexican Stamps Racist, Civil Rights Leaders Say. Oh, they're just overreacting. Well, the Stepin Fetchit tribute was a bit archaic, and they may have a point about the watermelon thing, but that Buckwheat stamp was adorable, and you just can't beat Al Jolson!


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This always gets me laughing, and yet ... um ... gotta get a hankie. There's something in my eye. John Cleese and Eric Idle at Graham Chapman's Funeral


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Holey Moley! Looks like Spielberg's still got it. War of the Worlds takes in $21 million on a Wednesday opening (7th best ever). Batman Begins took in $15m on its Wednesday opening.


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I Hate Horses. "Fuck Off Horse Hater Posers! If You Are Reading This, You Had Better Fucking Hate Horses!!!"


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Possibly the most fucked-up commercial ever, basically a Luis Bunuel movie for Stella Artois beer


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Elizabeth Book, the stay-at-home mom with a rose tattoo, has won the right to bare her breasts in her ongoing fight to go shirtless anywhere men can.


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ELEVEN clips from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I don't know about this ... I've been keeping an open mind because Burton and Depp are geniuses, but this is startin' to give off some bad vibes.


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You wanna pass my class? Burn my car. I wish it had been like that in my day. I could have been valedictorian.


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A clip from the bizarre MirrorMask
  • "MirrorMask centers on Helena, a 15 year old girl in a family of circus entertainers, who often wishes she could run off and join real life. After a fight with her parents about her future plans, her mother falls quite ill and Helena is convinced that it is all her fault. On the eve of her mother's major surgery, she dreams that she is in a strange world with two opposing queens, bizarre creatures, and masked inhabitants. All is not well in this new world - the white queen has fallen ill and can only be restored by the MirrorMask, and it's up to Helena to find it. But as her adventures continue, she begins to wonder whether she's in a dream, or something far more sinister."


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Guardian - Arts quizzes - Lit pop. When I submitted my answers, it told me, "You clearly have spent far too many warm summer days indoors writing frightening verse to a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg. "


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Paris Hilton wants a royal wedding


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Borowitz: U.S. TO CREATE ONE NEW SPY AGENCY FOR EVERY TERRORIST ON EARTH


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WOMEN who play beach volleyball risk being left with saggy breasts


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TV Shows that should be on DVD, but aren't. Let me add to the list: He & She, and the rest of Pete and Pete (only eight episodes are available).


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Y'know, the world is still full of racism, but sometimes it's good to look back and see that we are at least making progress. "Anti-Japanese Propaganda War Posters "


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"SADDAM Hussein is set to sue The Sun over our pictures of him in his Y-fronts. " "He hopes to pocket £1million from us, though that might be difficult unless he pulls his trousers back on."


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Kenny Rogers doesn't know when to fold 'em


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Caliente chica-en-chica accion! Spain's lower house of parliament has voted in favour of allowing gay couples to marry and adopt children.


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"Perspective is everything" department: Al Qaeda slams Al Jazeera for pro-American bias


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Blogger Goose said...

That should be the funniest headline of the day...

 

The United States is falling ever farther behind Russia in the all-important "nerd gap"


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VIDEO: Angelina Jolie doing the famous "fence" scene in Gia


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Write your own damned comment. Affleck misses J.Lo's toe sucking, and Matt Damon's ...


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You have no right to use the word "koozie"


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Affleck and Garner are married


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Letterman's "Top Ten Surprises In President Bush's Prime-Time Address"
  • "Claimed he had plan to win war, then switched on the bat signal"
  • "Ten minutes of policy, 20 minutes of Karaoke"
  • "It was basically a 50-minute infomercial for new George Bush grill"



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The Weekly Script features both of the Jason Bourne movies.


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ABC pulls edgy reality show after groups complain. ... "ABC has pulled an upcoming reality series in which people with various backgrounds vie to win a house in a white neighborhood, after gay and conservative watchdog groups raised concerns"


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Triumph the insult dog meets J-Lo


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Gettysburg Cemetery Dedication in Powerpoint


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Google's upcoming 2006 press releases.


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Four new clips from Cronicas (Leguizamo's first Spanish language film.)


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The trailer for ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW. I hope they did a better job on the sound mixing in the film than on their web site. Roger Ebert gave this film four stars.


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eBay: Thousands and thousands and thousands of old 45s for sale in a single lot. You have to see this just for the pictures. If you can rent a truck to haul them away, you could buy the entire collection for a few grand.


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The end of a high concept life. Domino Harvey, the inspiration the upcoming Keira Knightley film (Domino), died in her Los Angeles home on the evening of June 27. Harvey was the daughter of the legendary actor Laurence Harvey. She rejected Beverly Hills life as a model to become a bounty hunter.


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"Dancing with the Stars" is a ratings smash!


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An American held hostage in Iran for 444 days says 'there's no question about it' - the country's new president was one of his captors!


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Jacko brings peace and love and his family to the Middle East. He needs to talk one of those sheikhs into giving him enough land to create a new sovereign nation - with its own laws.


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Blogger Goose said...

Yeah, I bet Saudi Arabia is lovely this time of year. I'm guessing the temp has to be down to what, 125? Sounds marvelous...

And he wonders why people think he's weird. Who goes to Saudi freaking Arabia in late June?

 

'Sabrina the Teenage Witch,' is reportedly expecting her first child, whose career is already hotter than her own.


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Sharon Stone is using body doubles for her sex scenes in Basic Instinct 2. Stunt cunts? How proud their parents must be! "Mom, look - here - when she uncrosses her legs - those are my labia!!!"


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why even cast her? Body doubles are so '80s. I predict this is a massive flop.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

After seeing her paparazzi pics from a few months ago, all I ask is why?

She's got a smokin' hot body for her age. Damn I wish more actressed looked like her at that age.

Maybe their wouldn't be such ageism in Hollywood if female actresses looed that hot. Her talent is another story.

Plus no Paul Verhoven isn't a good thing, if she "actually" shows some skin, I'm there. Otherwise I'll just continue to watch and enjot Basic Instinct and Sliver as I have for years.

 

Maria is the lads' favourite: "Maria Sharapova has been voted men's favourite female tennis player of the last 20 years at Wimbledon."


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Starter home, 15 car garage ...


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Legal strategy of the month: Flesh-eating aliens were chasing me when I caused a fatal car crash


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Lawmaker's Wayward E-Mail Refers To Constituents As 'Idiots'. He was immediately dismissed from the politicians' union for their one unforgivable sin - telling the truth.


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The trailer for Into the Blue, a film about ... oh, who the fuck cares what it's about? Some underwater treasure and sharks and bad guys. The usual crap. The point is that Alba spends the entire film in skimpy bikinis.


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A new clip from The Island


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Borowitz: COMPETING WITH CANADA, MEXICO OFFERS GAY DIVORCES ... U.S. Tightens Both Borders, and will especially guard its back door.


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Uncle Scoopy's Guest House presents Teri Hatcher in The Cool Surface


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

They're real and they're...not good. Swing low, sweet...

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everybody always points out her atrocity of a nude scene in Heaven's Prisoners where honestly she only looked hot in the groping scene with Alec Baldwin.

But compared to the Cool Surface, omg it's nothing. She was at her peak (this is before Lois and Clark ya know) she had curves and they were awesome too look at.

Plus her line of "Do anything you want to me....anything." is one of the hottest lines ever said on film.

Movie sucks, but I've seen alot of crappy films for the great nudity attached to them.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a shame she became anorexic after that.

 

Titan dark spot may be a large lake. Don't pack your swimsuit quite yet. Even if they are right, the lake consists of liquid methane.


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The legendary 'DVD Jon' cracked the Google Video Viewer within 24 hours!! That guy is amazin'! He's still only 21 years old!


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