Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Damn, I love California. California court rules on sexual office affairs - you can sue for sexual harassment if the boss doesn't fuck you! As Oscar Wilde once said, "The only thing worse than getting fucked is NOT getting fucked."


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JoBlo has an amusing review of Stealth, which opens next Friday


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"A few years ago, a PlayStation 2 commercial was created to advertise the console in France. It was banned, for pretty obvious reasons, but lives on through the grace of the Internet. This is pretty old, but it's the first we've seen of it."


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European geography, level 3


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Mr T sets out to refute all those racists who think all black guys can sing. A classic. I pity the foo' who misses this.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why is someone a racist if they think all black guys can sing?

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Because the established dogma is that all people regardless of origin are identical in ability. From that it follows that to classify a race as being superior or inferior in any aspect is therefore racist.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, but he didn't say sing WELL.

 

The late Scotty weighs in on his favorite beaming subject: "'I like Captain Kirk, but I sure don't like Bill. He's so insecure that all he can think about is himself.'"


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Did Machiavellian scheming by General Motors sabotage the LA mass transit system?


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An extended clip from The Island


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Teachers say no one should 'fail' ... The U.K.'s "Education Secretary Ruth Kelly has dismissed suggestions that the concept of 'failure' should be removed from school in favour of 'deferred success'." Much like Tony Blair's Iraqi adventure.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the 70s, I once went to a school where they tried something wacky every year. One year, it was "no one should fail". I forgot the reasoning behind it, but it was some mumbo jumbo about recognizing the inherent abilities in each student, blah blah blah. Basically, it meant that no matter what you did, you were passing. Among the "baddies", it ended up being a de-facto contest of who could do the least. In my class, probably 3/4 of the pupils were useless, but two really distiguished themselves. Jeff managed to do absolutely nothing - straight zeros all the way. You'd think that's as low as anyone can go, however Robert topped that by doing absolutely no work, vandalizing classrooms, and physically threatening his male teachers. (It was a rough school!) At the end of the year, they gave out the grades. Remember, no one fails, so the lowest mark was supposed to be a D-. The problem was how to differentiate between them. After some deliberation, they gave Jeff his well earned D-, and for Robert, they gave him a special grade of D--! Needless to say, that was the last year they tried that experiment. I have no idea what eventually happened to those two.

 

Conan welcomes the world's oldest stunt man.


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There is the UK's version of the trailer for The Dukes of Hazzard. It's pretty much the same, except that the Duke boys are named Nigel and Alastair, and they are not NAMED Duke, they really ARE Dukes.


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An R-rated international trailer for Steve Carell's The 40 Year Old Virgin. Hang on - the last 20 seconds are really raunchy!


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Two international trailers from A Good Woman.
  • " 'An elegant and witty romantic comedy based on Oscar Wilde's classic play, 'Lady Windermere's Fan.' Set in the 1930s on the beautiful shores of the Italian Riviera, Lions Gate Films' 'A Good Woman' follows the seductive Mrs. Erlynne (Hunt), scorned by many as a 'woman of ill repute,' leaves New York for the Amalfi coast, where she hopes to find a new 'patron' among the vacationing aristocrats. The mean-spirited gossip stirred up by Mrs. Erlynne's arrival isn't enough to dissuade the jovial, kind-hearted Lord Augustus (Wilkinson) from falling in love with her. But Mrs. Erlynne has already set her sights on the married Robert Windermere (Mark Umbers), a wealthy young American who falls quickly under her spell. Windermere's faithful wife, Meg (Johansson), is herself distracted by the flirtatious overtures of Lord Darlington (Stephen Campbell Moore), a notorious playboy. But when she learns of her husband's blossoming affair, Meg resorts to drastic measures, with unexpected consequences for everyone involved... Brimming with sumptuous locales and sweeping romance, 'A Good Woman' is a sophisticated ode to Wilde's legendary wit and wisdom, beautifully directed by Mike Barker from a sparkling script by Howard Himelstein."


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Tuskless elephants evolving in China due to poaching: "more male Asian elephants in China will be born without tusks because poaching of tusked elephants is reducing the gene pool"


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Scientists worry about Pentagon's new ray gun


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The Smoking Gun reviews: Why Polanski Lives Over There


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Inventor of the TV dinner dies, to be frozen cryogenically and wrapped in foil, presumably to be re-warmed later and brought back to life.


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How To Be Funny. Well, sorta.


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Michael Jackson and the chocolate factory.


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Super Villain Carpool. This is a funny idea. "Behold the gaseous stench of Skeletor's breakfast burrito"


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NAPOLEON DYNAMITE ACTION FIGURES MAKE THEIR DEBUT. "They'll make all your dreams come true." I was a little heartbroken to see no Uncle Rico.


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Headline of the day: "Police lift prints off gnomes" ... The story is pretty comical as well.


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The trailer for Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man. The following is the official blurb, not my editorializing:
  • "Timothy Treadwell's death was as sensational as his life: Having presumed he could live safely among the grizzly bears of the Alaskan wilderness, the outdoorsman and author (Among Grizzlies)--along with his partner, Amie Huguenard--was eventually killed and devoured by one of the very animals to whom he had devoted years of study. In telling this story, Werner Herzog relies considerably on Treadwell's own video footage, shot during his time in the wild. But in the manner well known to those familiar with the stunning nonfiction films Herzog has made throughout his career, and most notably from the early '90s through today ('Lessons of Darkness,' 'Little Dieter Needs to Fly,' 'Mein Liebster Feind,' and most recently 'The White Diamond'), the famed German director takes Treadwell's story into unexpected emotional frontiers and startling landscapes of the mind. Where he doesn't go is equally as fascinating, but if Herzog is consistent about anything, it is the defiance of the ordinary, the rejection of the obvious, and the relentlessly searching eye he turns on whatever subject attracts his attention. Treadwell is an intriguing, infuriating, perhaps even tragic figure. But Herzog himself is equally compelling, and this brilliant film is just one reason why."


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Better buy your tickets early for this one, cuz the lines are going to stretch around the block ... The trailer for Roll Bounce
  • "In the late '70s, when roller skating was a way of life, X (Bow Wow) and his pals ruled supreme. But when the doors of their local skating rink close, it marks the end of an era and the beginning of another that sees the boys venture into foreign territory -- uptown's Sweetwater Roller Rink, complete with its over-the-top skaters and beautiful girls. Through his preparation for the showdown of the season -- the Roller Jam skate off with the Sweetwater crew -- X manages to find himself and also help his dad (Chi McBride) get back on track."


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Hey, ICMS! It's a new cop thriller from the all-Flemish Network: The trailer for The Memory of a Killer
  • When a key civil servant is murdered, the Antwerp police force puts its top crime investigators on the case: Vincke (Koen De Bouw) and Verstuyft (Werner De Smedt). The trail leads to hitman Angelo Ledda (Jan Decleir). Showing symptoms of Alzheimer's, Ledda finds it increasingly difficult to carry out assignments. When he realizes that he is being used in a political power game, he decides to bite the hand that feeds. Vincke and Verstuyft have a hard time trying to disentangle the web of intrigues to prevent further killings. Subsequently, the three men find themselves working together to eliminate Antwerp's 'underground network'.


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Some clips from The Skeleton Key, a new supernatural thriller with Kate Hudson and Gena Rowlands.


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Here are the trailers from Joss Whedon's Serenity


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"Match the '80s kid actor to his or her quarterlife crisis"


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Google Maps adds the moon.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Zoom it to highest magnification for insight into the composition of the lunar surface

 

Quotables: Late Night with Conan O'Brien
  • "In a speech this week Hillary Clinton compared President Bush to Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neuman. After hearing this the President said, 'Finally a literary reference I understand.'"
  • "Brad Pitt insists he's not in bed with the flu, they are just good friends."
  • "President Bush went to Indiana today to try to reach out to the state's black voters. Apparently Indiana's blacks are divided: one likes Bush but the other doesn't."
  • "Drew Barrymore says she will stop acting and become a director when her 'boobs start sagging.' Which, by the way, this is the same reason Michael Moore became a director."
  • "In a recent interview, Michael Jackson said that when he dies he wants his body to be frozen. Not surprisingly, once Jackson is frozen he wants to have his body placed in an ice cream truck."





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Borowitz: ROBERTS VOWS TO BE MOST GENERIC WHITE MALE IN HISTORY OF SUPREME COURT ... Bush Praises Nondescript Nominee
  • Elsewhere, over 150,000 women in Great Britain submitted applications to become actor Jude Law’s new nanny.


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The Daily Show's Lewis Black profiles some of the people condemning indecency among fictional lawbreakers.


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Jon Stewart cooks up some possum fritters with America's #1 redneck, Billy Bob Thornton


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The Daily Show's Ed Helms profiles a woman who may have accidentally grabbed a stripper instead of a clean towel. It turns out that Vagina Cream is the secret to immortality. Or not.


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Daily Show: "Should Karl Rove receive a medal? He's already a shoo-in to sweep this year's Leakys."


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Rue McClanahan discusses former fellow Golden Girl Estelle Getty.
  • ""Estelle doesn't know anything about having done a show called 'Golden Girls.' She doesn't recognize any of us; doesn't recognize us in person and doesn't recognize us over the phone. And she can't really carry on a conversation anymore."


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What does Lance Armstrong listen to during the Tour de Lance


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J.K. Rowling reads the opening pages of that Half-Baked Prince thing you may have heard something about.


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"Courteney Cox says it's possible that Friends may reunite for a one-off show"


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Star Trek's Scotty, James Doohan, beamed up at 85


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Sadly, this is a real headline from a real newspaper: "Ukrainian vampire drugged children and drank their blood"


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Judge says photographer can distribute Asastasia Myskina's topless pics. Now that's my kid of activist judge. Ms. Myskina is a top tennis player and former French Open champion. The pictures were taken by top fotog Mark Seliger for GQ, so it's obviously not some sleaze-fest.
  • "Mukasey wrote that the Russian star's rights were not violated when topless photographs were published with an article weeks after she won the French Open in 2004, despite her insistence that she did not understand a photo release form with her signature on it and was not fluent in English at the time."


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One of Anastasia Myskina's topless pics. The lawsuit is about the right to use more from the same shoot or republish them elsewhere, or both.


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The Boston Herald reviews "The Blonde in the Thunderbird'' That is the new one-woman Broadway show from Suzanne Somers in which she plays the part of ... Eleonor Roosevelt. No, I'm just kidding. She actually stands on stage and talks about her own life, stopping to sing a few old tunes with new lyrics. I didn't make any of this up. The following are real quotes from the review:
  • "An original musical number features Somers prancing around the stage strapped to a small foam Thunderbird (a nod to her big break in ``American Graffiti''). Your jaw may drop, but not for the right reason."
  • "When she inevitably trots out a cart filled with her Home Shopping products, it's surprising she doesn't try to make a few sales from the stage."
  • " ... it was evident Somers can't sing, can't really act, but she does have guts. At 58, she still has a great body (you better believe that Thigh Master makes an appearance)"


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The Miami ABC affiliate has a slideshow and video of that women who stripped in court, but they've sanitized it for our protection.


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End of the World. Flash Animation


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Letter From Karl C. Rove to Judith Miller of the New York Times (Whitehouse.org)


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Colin Farrell Sues Over Sex Tape - The Smoking Gun has the documents


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Anonymous Jay said...

Oh really they have the document? Oh shit! THEY'VE GOT THE DOCUMENT!

 


Anonymous Joseph said...

Ran into Colin at a strip club in Toronto around Christmas...He has a thing for black chicks, it seems.

 


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, it's at think point that I'd just say, "Screw it" and join in on the production and subsequent profit if I were Farrel. I mean, hey, there are far worse things in life than everybody on the internet seeing you bang a Playmate.

 

Latino Review reports on Comic Con (part 2)


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The international trailer from On a Clear Day
  • "Frank determines to salvage his self-esteem and tackle his demons by attempting the ultimate test of endurance - swimming the English Channel."


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The trailer from Oyster Farmer
  • "Oyster Farmer is the story of Jack Flange (Alex O'Lachlan), an enterprising young man who moves from Sydney into an isolated, close-knit community of oyster farmers. In desperate need of money, Jack robs a local fish market (with a frozen lobster) and mails the cash to himself. When the package goes missing, he fears the police may be on to him or that someone in the eccentric oyster farmer community has intercepted the loot. His suspicion falls on the bewitching Pearl (Diana Glenn), a local beauty whose expensive tastes do not go unnoticed, but who just might be his salvation."


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Four clips from Last Days, the new fictional Gus van Sant film loosely based on the life of Kurt Cobain.


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A new behind-the-scenes featurette about Aeon Flux


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The trailer for Nanny McPhee
  • "Emma Thompson, whose first screenplay won the 1995 Oscar for 'Sense and Sensibility,' returns to screenwriting with 'Nanny McPhee,' a motion picture adaptation of the 'Nurse Matilda' books by Christianna Brand. Thompson, the only person to have won Oscars for both acting and writing, also plays the title role in 'Nanny McPhee,' opposite Colin Firth, Kelly Macdonald and-in her first role for the big screen in two decades-Angela Lansbury. In this dark and witty fable, Thompson portrays a person of unsettling appearance and magical powers who enters the household of the recently widowed Mr. Brown (Firth) and attempts to tame his seven exceedingly ill-behaved children. The children, led by the oldest boy Simon ('Love Actually''s Thomas Sangster), have managed to drive away 17 previous nannies and are certain that they will have no trouble with this one. But as Nanny McPhee takes control, they begin to notice that their vile behavior now leads swiftly and magically to rather startling consequences. Her influence also extends to the family's deeper problems, including Mr. Brown's sudden and seemingly inexplicable attempts to find a new wife; an announcement by the domineering Aunt Adelaide (Angela Lansbury) that she intends to take one of the children away; and the sad and secret longings of their scullery maid, Evangeline (Kelly Macdonald). As the children's behavior begins to change, Nanny McPhee's arresting face and frame appear to change as well, creating even more questions about this mysterious stranger whom the children and their father have come to love."


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Ten clips from the Disney superhero family comedy Sky High


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