Monday, July 25, 2005

Comedienne JOAN RIVERS has launched a vicious attack on VICTORIA BECKHAM, labelling the former pop star an 'arrogant shrew'. Wow. How arrogant and shrewish would one have to be for Joan Rivers to notice? That's sort of like Michael Jackson noticing that someone is a little weird.


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Actor-director Mel Gibson is well on his way to cornering a new niche market in Hollywood -- movies written in ancient languages. He's moving from Aramaic to Mayan for his next one.


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Naked in New York.


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Here's the trailer from the intriguingly named Mobsters and Mormons.
  • When forced by the FBI to rat out mob boss Angelo Marcello (Michael Kagan), Carmine "The Beans" Pasquale (Mark Decarlo, voice of Hugh Neutron on Jimmy Neutron) is a wanted man on the lam being hunted by hit man Little Nicky Cappuccio (Joe Maruzzo, The Sopranos). Taking along wife Gina (Jeanette Punich) and son Vincent (Clay Taylor), Carmine enters the federal witness relocation program and is given a new home and a new identity. Now known as The Cheeseman Family from Omaha, Nebraska, these former East Coast mobsters are relocated into the middle of a quiet, straight laced Mormon community in Utah where much to Carmine's frustration; he can't even find a decent cup of coffee let alone a horse track. Life in this small town becomes anything but ordinary once The Cheesemans move in. Many locals are weary, if not outright afraid of these rough around the edges outsiders, while others go annoyingly far out their way to try to embrace them. Despite the efforts of well meaning neighbor Michael Jaymes (Scott Christopher, The Best Two Years) to help Carmine feel welcome, Carmine can't help but wonder if being this much of a fish out of water -- is actually better than "sleeping with the fishes."


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Here's a ten minute clip from Stealth, an action movie starring Jamie Foxx, Jessica Biel, and Josh Lucas.


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Here is the full trailer for a sci-fi adventure named Zathura. Jon Favreau is the director; Tim Robbins is the star. The official blurb says:
  • In Columbia Pictures heart-racing sci-fi adventure "Zathura," two squabbling brothers are propelled into deepest, darkest space while playing a mysterious game they discovered in the basement of their old house. On their fantastic journey they are joined by a stranded astronaut and must survive meteor showers, hostile lizard-like aliens, a rocket-propelled robot run amok and an intergalactic spaceship battle. But their greatest peril lies ahead. For unless they finish the game and reach the planet Zathura, they are doomed to be trapped in outer space forever. "Zathura" is based on the best-selling book by the acclaimed children's writer Chris Van Allsburg ("The Polar Express," "Jumanji").


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Watch the first ten minutes of Disney's Sky High (High School for Super Heroes)


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SHUTTLE ASTRONAUTS TO EXPLORE CAPE CANAVERAL ... New Mission Would Not Require Liftoff, NASA Concedes


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As per the Sun article, here is that picture of Charlotte Church's boobie


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Corey Feldman mounts another comeback.
  • Lord knows I've spent enough ink making fun of Corey but, to be fair, he seems like a decent down-to-earth guy, and is more talented than a lot of people who have had much bigger careers.


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"You've reached the suicide hotline. Our regular hours are ..." The "executive director of the Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center said only one in 10 callers could get through on the first try." I would not want to be the guy who checks the messages.


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listen to bob dylan - 90 seconds of each song on the tribute album.
  • I listened to more than half of them. I liked Something Corporate's interpretation of Just Like A Woman, but I didn't like it as much as Richie Havens's. My opinion in general was that the artists stayed too close to the original sound of the Dylan version instead of bringing something new to it, as The Byrds, Havens, and Peter Paul and Mary have done. On the other hand, maybe that was the point.


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"A source close to the production of Spider-Man 3 confirmed that the main villain played by Thomas Hayden Church will in fact be the Chameleon."


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TV Guide Readers pick: Top Five Celebrity Meltdowns


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Did you know ....? The supposed "urban legend" of alligators living in the New York sewers is not a legend at all ... "alligators really did thrive in the pipes during the 1930s." Actually, I'm not sure if alligators is the right word - they were similar-looking reptiles about two feet long, and they were exterminated in 1935. Nobody really knows where they came from.


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Is Your Boss a Psychopath? "What good is money if it can't inspire terror in your fellow man?" - C. Montgomery Burns


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Singing comedian Steven Lynch tells kids how to be a super-hero, like "immigration dude." This guy has the 60s folk singer schtick down cold.


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The legend of the Hawaiian goodluck sign


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NBC has fallen and it can't get up. Last year was "like a colonic," said the head of the entertainment division.


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... good-bye, my baby ... farewell, my ragtime frog ... WB fires Michigan Frog


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Conan shares the best of Foreign Reality TV. This is a very funny segment. (E.g. - Ingmar Bergman's "Girls Gone Wild!"). Also, if you haven't seen it yet, check out the other link for Buddy Cops. Conan consistently has some of the best comedy writing on TV.


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The trailer for Little Fish, an Aussie movie starring some of the biggest stars Down Under. It was shown at the Melbourne International Film Festival, but I haven't seen a U.S. release date. Here's the blurb:
  • "How do you learn to love again when the pain of the past won't let you go? When you're 32 with a troubled history and a doubtful future, it's a question that isn't so easy to answer. And for Tracy Heart (Cate Blanchett), it's a question she can no longer ignore. After four years of treading water and redeeming herself in the eyes of her hard-working single mother, she has set herself the humble goal of owning her own business. But the unexpected return of her ex-boyfriend Jonny (Dustin Nguyen), the criminal aspirations of her brother Ray (Martin Henderson) and the emotional draw of troubled family friend and ex-footy star Lionel Dawson (Hugo Weaving), creates friction for Tracy. Her dream soon becomes tangled with criminal boss, Bradley "The Jockey" Thompson (Sam Neill) with shattering consequences. As a result, Tracy's bond of trust with her mother Janelle (Noni Hazlehurst) is tested and she has to confront her fears to find happiness. A story about families. About lies. And about learning to love again."



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"Why would anyone want to celebrate a day of fear and destruction that ended in a death?"


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New Puppy Teaches Congress Important Lesson About Responsibility


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Man Convicted in Diaz Topless Photos Case


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Desperate Housewives star Nicolette Sheridan has joined the cast of a new comedy film The Cleaner. The Cleaner is about an amnesiac janitor (Cedric the alleged entertainer) who believes he is an undercover agent.


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Bad Baby Names - they're not just for celebrities


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Potential New Jersey legislation bans smoking in your own car.
  • What can ya say? New Jersey cops just have too much time on their hands after the state eliminated all serious crimes.
  • Traffic safety groups acknowledge that motorists already completely ignore the state's year-old law against using hand-held cell phones. I suppose between cell phones and cigarettes, New Jersey will have made pretty close to 100% of the state's drivers into criminals!
  • Personally, I support installing cameras in every single car so we can monitor this situation carefully. I will personally volunteer to watch Pam Anderson's car, cuz I figure something fun will happen there eventually. And if Hugh Grant is visiting, I'll watch his car as well.


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Blogger Goose said...

Smoking in your car is destracting in New Jersey, pets in your car are destracting in Pennsylvania prompting legislation for a Pet Seatbelt law. Cell phones are apparently destracting everywhere because people can't be expected to talk and drive at the same time. How long before we are no longer free to drive with another person in the car because talking to them is a destraction. You know, in some states, if you're below the age of 18, you're not allowed to drive with others below the age of 18 in the car.

Proving once again that every law the government passes means less freedom for the rest of us. Free country my ass...